Possibility Unbound

Hey all!

Trying to find a new comfort level posting from Jason's computer. I think I was getting in a good rhythm before and since my brother took back the PC I have been a lot more inconsistant with my posting. I am really going to try to keep up with more frequent posts with a target of at least 15 a month.

Here is a poem I wrote today, definatly coping with some anxiety. Thanks for reading.



Possibility Unbound


In the darkest hours before the dawn,

With baited breath is tension drawn.

This sleepless night shall find no rest,

The time is soon for courage's test.

Restless tossing to and fro,

Ominous rumblings churn below.

Close my eyes to find lost dreams,

Hard to focus with nerves pulling at the seams.



I fear not man, nature, nor beast.

Yet deep inside finds bravery the least.

And as the hour draws more near,

Sounding this symphony of fear.

Shore my walls for fresh assault,

And hope against new found fault.

Must conquer now this daunting task,

Ony in victory retained then I may bask.



Soon to step from familar ground,

Towards this land of possibility unbound.

Move each foot with fervent gait.

Only then shall these feeling satiate,

Give not in to pressures curse.

And all that's wrong shall find reverse.

Hold tight this chance to be true.

And unlock this experiance so strange and new.



Here she comes I must not fail.

Neither courage waivered nor color pale.

Together now the time had come,

And all my worries did then succumb.

Faded away into the calm,

A moment arrived with great aplomb.

In this second it all felt right,

And I wondered why this caused me such plight.



End of Line.
Gerrad!

Resident Evil Extinction

Hey all,

*still no damn spellcheck and I'm too tired to catch it all*

Caught Resident Evil 3 on Friday. I enjoyed the first two films in the trilogy for what they were, zombie popcorn movies. Hot girls fighting zombies with enough of a plot to keep you interested in what's next. Not great movies but certainly entertaining. Resident Evil 1 did a good job of creating a kind of claustrophobic sense of horror and action with enough twists and surprises admist the action to keep it going. Two took the idea of a the zombie apocalypse and ran with it, giving us a bigger score of what could happen.

With 3, I wasn't certain that they new what they wanted to do, keep the fights intimate and personal in some scenes, and go widescale in the next. The plot os defiantely the loosest of the three with th filmakers taking whatever loose ends they could grasp to find more reason for the evil Umbrella Corp to want Milla Jovovitch's character again. I also thought giving her psionic ability was kind of lame. The ending is also a teriible idea that if given the chance of a fourth film, will certainly be overlooked. You should certainly wait for video on thsi one.

Jason and myslef also determined that anytime more than one Milla Jovovitch are on screen at the same time (it should be no surprise that they are cloning her as evidenced in RE:2) that the plural of her name is Jovovi. Hey made me laugh.


End of LIne.
Gerrad!

Nerd Fantasy Draft

Hey all!

*still no viable spellcheck*

As football season has started, so has all the talk of fantasy football. While I am not a fantasy footballer, today is an important part of any nerds fantasy draft, for new fall televison marks it's comeback next week. The reason its a draft is that now we will have to see what programs make the cut on the DVR, and who gets left behind. How many of the new shows will get good yardage, and what will be busts.


This will be my second season wih the fall TV lineup and the DVR and I have to say the field looks strong. Despite a few holdouts, like Lost and Battlestar Galactica not starting until January, there are a lot of strong looking new programs.

Pretty much the only holdover sill making my cut from new shows last year is Heroes. Studio 60 and Drive busted out, but I see some positive looking dramas to replace them. I am looking forward to Chuck and Bionic Woman to come out as the best of the rest.


Here's my lineup:

Sundays are pretty light with Fox dominating with The Simpsons and Family Guy. I am not a big fan of American Dad but King of the Hill may make it on the list, I end up watching them in reruns anyway

I will admit to being intrigued by CBS doing a musical drama called Viva Laughlin, but I am not going to bother with something that will so quickly be cancelled.

Mondays have the DVR in overdrive between CBS and NBC. CBS has the sitcoms with How I Met Your Mother, Two and a Half Men, and Rules of Engagement, How I Met Your Mother being a favorite. I am also going to try Big Bang Theory, a new nerd comedy since I am watching everything else in that time period.

NBC is coming with the aforementioned Heroes, Chuck and a possibility in Journeyman, a show about a time traveler, but I don't have high hopes or it.

Tuesdays belong to the CW with Beauty and the Geek ( a terrible yet complelling series) and Reaper, a quirky show that's getting a lot of comparisons to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The pilot is directed by Kevin Smith so that's worth it for one episode at least.

Wednesdays are light until Lost comes back. Bionic Woman should dominate that night. I have heard good things about the show Pushing Daisies about a guy who reanimates the dead with a touch and kills them again with another touch. I might try that when it rolls out in October.

Thursdays belong to NBC with Must See TV and My Name is Earl, The Office, and Scrubs. I may give 30 Rock another try, but I didn't enjoy it the few times I watched it last season. Maybe its not my cup of tea.

Fridays and Saturdays are dead fr TV... these are the best times to catch you on the shows you didn't get a chance to watch through the week itself.. Hope you didn't mind me waxing nerd poetic here. My last few posts have been poem heavy so I thought I would talk about something lighter.

I'll post again this weekend, maybe another poem that I have been working on. Thanks for reading.


End of Line.
Gerrad@

Away The Days

Hey all,

With me working so many long days and hours, I haven't had too much going on to post about, nor the real desire as I have been so tired. I also think I have caught a bit of a cold, and that's not helping. I have found a sort of spont for poetry of late, through breaks in working and during some meetings we have had this week.

I finished this poem last night. It's sort of another darker poem about battling addictions and loss, a topic I have touched on before, but hopefully you'll enjoy.


Away the Days


Staring out over this empty cup.

Don't know what's down or up.

Order up another round,

To slip away amidst the calling sound.

And in this frame of my mind,

Create a state that remorse can't find.



Wash down the sins of the past,

Without this drink they everlast.

Only now can I stand the pain,

But in the morning hangover shall regret remain.

Though until those passing hours.

The drink shall soothe away what threaten devours.



Herald soon the sound of last call.

One more step back closer to my fall,

It matters not if well or beer,

Anything to chase away the fear.

For soon these feelings shall flow to surface,

And give this bottle sense renewed purpose.


Swirl the dregs and think of you.

Reminded now of loss anew.

Couldn't take addiction's cost,

Left me now in my drink so lost.

When you come back I can change my ways,

Until that time I'll drown away the days.



End of Line.
Gerrad!

Sounds of Light and Fury (Self Titled 2.0)

Hey all!

*Quick Note
Jason's Mac still won't let me access spell check so I will do my best.


Sorry that I haven't posted in a few days. I am having one of those long grinding weeks where I just don't like my job all that much and I am feeling tired and down. That's where this poem came from. I wrote it piecemail over a few days at work, just spotting lines as they came to me on moments while at work. I didn't really work on it in 1 or 2 sittings like I normally do. This poem is a big departure from my usual formula of 1 or 2 longer attempts to write. I think I caught my current mood pretty well, though I certainly tried to do a little poerty for poetry's sake in the words themselves. I also utilized the blog title as the title of the poem.

Sounds of Light and Fury started out as just a really nerdy in-joke, but for me has evolved into a sort of life phrase for my experiances. The Sounds of Light and Fury are the things in my life that find reason to give me hope or happiness, the driving forces of life. Hopefully you can find your own things that fill you and make you want to fight for the things you love. I used this title in one of my earlier poems (called Self Titled) where the phrase meant something different, hearkening the end of times. Like many things our tastes and interpretations evolve, and I may even use the title again if I feel it can further enhance the meaning. I hope you like this poem. I do.
Thanks for reading.


The Sounds of Light and Fury



Exhausted shell of wicked refuse,

So hurt and tired from the abuse.

And all about me feels so weary,

The future recourse a lonely dreary.

Can't see the end from where I begin.

Just the same old starting point all over again.


For all that I am is battered and beat.

On this endless cycle of shuffling repeat.

So sick to my heart of this daily grind,

Collapsing again to my own numb mind.

Craving a change that will never come.

The will to march shall soon succumb.


Now I feel an age beyond own years,

Suffrage given in silent tears.

Forced to repeat my own worn monotony,

To broken to fight damnable lethargy.

The only part left now stretched to break,

A pound of flesh the cost to take.


This candle now gone from both ends lit,

All that remains is no longer fit.

Betrayed by mind, body, and soul.

To worn out to recover the whole.

And no more is left for this piper to pay,

No service to render exhaustion's allay.



All I dream is to close these eyes.

Sweet reprise from self imposed lies.

But reality beacons at every call,

An insistance of giving with each and all.

So all that was bright has faded to blurry,

To silence the Sounds of Light and Fury.



End of Line.
Gerrad!

Merry-Go-Round Now Broken Down

Hey all!

I was reading earlier today about the difficulty some parents were having after the loss of thier children. I wrote this poem in pieces at work just touching up a few lines in the translation at home. I also realized while writing this there isn't a good rhyme for the word negligent, so I changed two lines a little. I am pretty happy with the outcome. Just a little note, the title of the poem is a slightly reworded title of the tune Roger Rabbit sings in the speakeasy in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I thought it kind of added a totally different feeling for the poem. Hope you all enjoy.

One more note, my brother took back his PC and I am posting this from Jason's Mac and for some reason on his computer Blogger's spellcheck is down, as well as the ability to put the poem in italics. I'll correct it as soon as I'm able, please understand.


Merry-Go-Round Now Broken Down



Happier days from yesteryear,

All now pass into the clear.

The echoes dim with the march of time,

As laughter fades to silent crime.


The swingset sways in solitary breeze,

And sandbox empty of a joyous reprise.

These forgotten toys left thrown around,

The merry-go-round now broken down.


His room now left a slighted mess,

Her's the same in decor and dress.

And though they spend small time there,

They'll remain the same, an homage prayer.


For each new day brings fresh assualt,

Self made blame lies here in fault.

Guilt and fear now barb the crown,

A loathing pity to claim new victim's drown.


Fresher tears for each new day.

This costly price forced to pay.

Why are the young so often taken,

And the parents the ones forsaken?



End of Line.
Gerrad!

3:10 To Yuma

Hey all!

Last night Jason and myself caught the new Russel Crowe and Christian Bale western 3:10 to Yuma. I have to say that I really loved this film, defiantly in my top 5 for this year.

Having watched the original 1957 version with Lee Van Cleef and Glenn Ford, I was afraid that they would stray from the great psychological drama between Crowe and Bale's character, but they stayed really close to the original. Bale is a down on his luck rancher who lost a foot in the civil war three years earlier. Crowe is a charismatic and ruthless outlaw who has held up 21 consecutive stagecoaches. Crowe gets captured while spending some time in town and Bale agrees to join the posse to take Crowe to the town of Contention to put him on board the prison train, the 3:10 to Yuma. Bale does it for a promised $200 which he needs to get the farm out of debt. The entire time Crowe's gang trails them, among other difficulties, to prevent him from to the train.

The film is beautifully shot and Crowe, for me at least, returns to Oscar caliber form as this ruthless and likable villain all at once. Bale continues to impress with his range and depth as this tormented everyman. What I liked about the movie is that they changed what needed to be changed for a modern day western, amping up the action sequences and pace in the beginning and end. Yet they still retained the great psychological struggle that goes on between the two main characters, Crowe trying to turn Bale, and Bale trying to resist the easy temptation. In the end, I think each character finds their own salvation because of each other.

I really hope that 3:10 to Yuma does well, its finely acted and well made and I want to see more great westerns... hell films in general made like this. For sure, check it out.

Thanks for reading!

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Movie Time: Rewind: Animal Crackers

Hey all,

Thought I would post the next installment of movie time rewind here, highlighting great films made before the year of my birth, 1976.

Many times old films that were set in the modern day have a hard time transferring their relevance into today's modern movie watcher. Drama's and action adventure pieces, unless set in a period, don't have the same flair that our current films do. Some genre's, like the musical have only recently come back into relevance. The genre that I think holds up best is comedy.

If somethings funny, it's going to remain that way. That's why my recommendation today is one of my favorite comedies, 1930's Animal Crackers starring the Marx Bros. Groucho, Chico, and Harpo, made many films throughout the end of the 1920's and into the early 40's, and while most consider the political satire of Duck Soup to be their best film, I always laughed more at Animal Crackers.

The basic premise is that Groucho is an African explorer who is being honored at a fancy reception, and Harpo and Chico are there as members of the entertainment. A famous painting is to be unveiled but it's stolen and hi-jinks ensure. Groucho is whip fire with the one liners, and Chico is truly a gifted piano player, as per his hilarious bit with him playing the same ending part of the song over and over because he can't remember how it ends. The film is rife with great songs, such as Groucho's "Hello I must be going" song which he would later use on his 1950's game show, You Bet Your Life, and running sight gags.

Some of the elements of the film will still seem dated, like Groucho's greasepaint mustache, but it all leads to further build on the films longevity. Each brother is at their top form, filling a niche in the routine, Groucho the verbalist, Harpo, the silent master of the sight gag (and accomplished harpist) and Chico, the gruff Italian stereotype who can easily play of either brother. You also get to see Zeppo Marx, the 4th Marx bros. who always played the handsome straight man. The rest of the cast are perfect foils for the Marx Bros. unique sense of humor.

I am a huge Marx Bros. fan, definitely ranking them in my top 5 of classic actors. Any of their films will lend itself to their unique blend of humor and fun. Plenty of quotable lines in their movies.

Check it out, the Marx Bros. in Animal Crackers.

Thanks for reading!

End of Line.
Gerrad!

The Faithful Hurt

Hey all.

I tried something different with this poem. Firstly, I used a poetry structure I have never used before, call terza rima, which basically means 3 line stanza's where the first and third line end in a rhyme, then the second line rhymes with the first and third of the next stanza, and so on. Capping it off with the final second line rhyming with the first line of the first stanza. I liked the challenge of the structure, but I definitely won't go to that exclusively. The other thing I tried was to vent a bit of the anger I have been feeling towards work lately into the poem. You can take it for whatever you like, I found it very cathartic to write out. As per usual with a poem, I don't think its very good now that I have finished. I'm not sure if it flows smoothly or not. This poem took two attempts at though so I am posting it as is. Thank you for reading.




The Faithful Hurt



Staring deep into the black,

A bubbling brink that threatens to overlap,

I'm far to gone to ever turn back.


This hate and fear will start to snap,

And find me alone in this darkest realm.

Cloaked with this anger's wrap.


Sense's fail to face the overwhelm,

And that's left behind is the faithful hurt.

Left adrift with no one at the helm.


Nothing left but this kingdom of dirt,

And the boiling depths of that which seethes,

A rage to sunder all to it's pervert.


For it threatens to suffocate all that breathe.

And Lo! Beware this wrath and scorn,

As I wield a sword that may not find sheathe.


Regret that wroth hath which been born.

For I can no longer see salvation's hand.

Or remember those I have hurt to mourn.


This ebon growth has seized command.

To render all it's bitter attack.

Surrender now to black heart's demand.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

This Intimate Commune

Hey all,

Thought it was about time for another poem. It's been a while since I did a straight love poem, and I think I pulled this one off. My inspiration were those moments when you are separated from that special person and what you are thinking about when they aren't around. Whether your separated by a few hours, or states, or living arrangements, whatever the case may be. I think I dipped the brush of sentimentality a bit to much, but overall I am happy with it.
Let me know what you think if you like.


This Intimate Commune


Why the hell am I still here?

When all I want is to keep you near.

I don't want to hesitate.

Tomorrow arrives far too late.

Each new minute can't come to soon.

To spend in this intimate commune.



Separated until the moment you come back to me.

Is this the way you want it to be?

I can't be the only one who feels this way all the time.

When we're together our hearts are joined in the sublime.

Some things are just to hard to ignore.

How long I covet to be your heart's adore.



There are all these things I need to say.

Without you my soul just can't convey.

There's so much I need to confide,

I want to watch you fall asleep at my side.

And when my day starts to turn to night,

You'll be there with the sunrise to make it right.



A greater gift I have not to give,

You are the reason to draw the breath to live.

When your close my heart beats so fast,

What we have is surely meant to last.

Hold tight now these words to be true,

Only you can make me feel the way I do.

That I love you.


End of Line.
Gerrad!

Birthday Time!

Hey all,

This post is going to be dedicated to my best friend, Jason. Today's the third and it being his birthday, I thought I would talk a little about him.

Looking back, I am going on 18 years olf friendship with this guy. That's a long fucking time. I don't really look at Jason like a friend anymore, he's more like a brother to me, a part of the family. Even when he moved to San Francisco for those years, we kept in contact and remained close. He knows me as well as I know myself. I may not be lucky in many things, and here are people out there who may say that they have a lot of friends. Well I don't.. but I think I have the best one.

We first met in 7th grade, sharing a love of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He was already drawing then when I introduced him to the world of comics. I still have a drawing he did o the entire TMNT cast that he did in 8th grade and sold to me for like 5 or 10 dollars, of which I am forbidden to show at any time. Soon he was into books like X-men and the Punisher, Spider-man... and he jumped headlong into them just like I did. I like to think that maybe I had a little influence in getting him to really pursue illustration as his field. To see his talent evolve and grow over the years has been a source of pride and respect for me. No one is more happy at his current prospects than me, well maybe his parents as I am sure that deep down they resent me a little for getting him into those comics.


A lot of time has passed, but one thing I know is that it may be Jason's birthday today, but I got the better present, Thanks for being there man.


God I am so gay.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

True Story Time!

Happy September all!

Today's true story happened last night. Bill was in town and wanted to meet up at Old Chicago, our watering hole of choice. Jason's brother Danny and his wife Leila met up with us as well.

We had a few beers and ate some dinner, generally having a good time. I must say that Danny's wife DID impress me quite heartily, taking a swallow of my drink of choice, the Rusty Nail (Scotch and Drambuie) without even flinching or making a face, not once, but twice! She also preferred my cheap beer of choice, Old Milwaukee, over Danny and Bill's Old Style. Very cool.

Anyway to the point of the story, we were there long enough that they started up the traditional Saturday Night Karaoke. I've dine Karaoke enough that I am not embarrassed about doing it anymore, as long as they have a song that I feel is in my vocal pitch (no high notes) and is funny. I don't want to sing something serious, because I can't sing. If its funny though, well everyone can have a laugh at the lyrics or my voice. I go up to put in my staple, Boyz in the Hood, as sung by Dynamite Hack. Two white guys who cover the classic NWA rap song by slowing it down and singing it like a slow alternative jam. All the lyrics and such are the same, and it usually gets a good pop from the crowd. I once got a standing ovation while singing that at a work convention. Its funny.

Before I could submit my song, the hostess of the karaoke informed me that I was banned from singing the song as it was cited in an earlier visit as being offensive. This sucked! Personally, Bill and myself thing that the hostess herself found it not cool that I was singing a song about slapping hoes as she was African American. Being bummed out, I thumbed through the catalog until I found a suitable replacement, The Bloodhound Gang's Ballad of Chasey Lain. Way more offensive than Boys in the Hood, the chorus of the song requests over and over to "Show'em them titties." I submitted that song and when I was done, I was informed that I was no longer allowed to sing that one either. She also wondered how I could pic a song that was WORSE than the one I was told I couldn't sing. I should point out that before singing the song, I informed the audience that my original choice was banned for being to offensive and this one would be more "not offensive at all." My feeling was that if I was get shut down from sing the songs I wanted to sing, then I was going to make them regret this decision.

I closed out 1 more song, if only to get Bill to sing his version of Ugly Kid Joe's, I Hate Everything About You, complete with Nat King Cole vocals in the final line. Piece of Shit Car by Adam Sandler. Yeah.. I got banned form that one too.

My feelings on this are so:
1- The songs shouldn't be in the catalog if you don't want us to sing them.
2- If anyone finds the song offensive, what are they doing in a bar at 10 and 11 pm on a Saturday night. They are in a bar for god's sake, you have to expect some salty language at a bar. If you don't want to be offended, remove yourself from a place that serves beer. Shit happens when you drink.
3- Everyone in that bar is over 21, nothing I am saying is anymore offensive than the other off key singers who take the songs too seriously. I mean, there are some really bad singers who are singing stuff that no one wants to hear.

Anyway, I realize this true story may not be of the same caliber as my previous posts, but I still find it amusing that I have been effectly banned from singing.

Anyway, I'll post another true McDonalds Tale in the next edition of this feature. Thanks for reading.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

True Story Time!

Hey all,

I thought it was about time to do another true story, this one about how I used to be friends with a murderer.

It should stand without question that I am a pretty big nerd, and being said nerd I used to play Dungeons and Dragons. Not much of a surprise considering my love of the fantasy genre. I was turned onto the game by my boss at the time, who used to have a few people over and play the game. After I moved out and got my own place, we started playing there. At one point I think there were 10 people or so making up our party.

Rather than regale you with more tales or nerdity, let me get back to the point in question. Since my boss and myself were playing (and were really good friends) we had invited another friend from our McDonalds days in, my friend in Flagstaff, Bill. With the three of us playing once a week, eventually other people at work found out what was going on. One of them was named Scott. We liked Scott, he was a hard worker and joked around a lot , generally having the same interests as all of us. We invited him to join, along with his D&D friend Brian.

Brian, nicknamed Smelly Brian to differentiate from the other Brian in the group, because that guy had the worst BO ever. Really solidified the smelly nerd cred that we are so often saddled with. Scott, though, is the point of this story. He had a pretty hard life early on, but he had been taking steps to get his life on track. he was only 17 or 18 at the time we had met, dropped out of school to work. We invited Scott to our house, many times over the months, and we all felt really comfortable around him.

That's why it was such a surprise when my boss, Kurt, and myself were at work and Scott walked in, immediately being arrested by the police for attempted murder. We were in shock, that had to be a mistake right? It turns out he had agreed to be a part of an attempt to kill his roommates aunt (or mom.. i don't really remember) who was laid up in a sickbed. Apparently his RM was in line to inherit a bunch of money and promised Scott $10,000 to be an accomplice. He alleges that he was only a lookout, though the police have evidence of him buying a knife, gloves and a mask. It got even more serious when his charges were upped to 1st degree murder after the victim died in the hospital from the wounds suffered in the attack.

We didn't believe that he was capable of such an act, even visiting him at the county jail once, before his sentencing. In the face of such undaunting evidence, and the fact that Scott agreed to testify against his RM and his RM's wife, we came to the conclusion that this wasn't somebody we really knew. I didn't write him or anything, and we never visited him after that. I did get a letter in the mail about 6 months afterwords where he called me several names and was very angry that I didn't contact him anymore because he was in jail. It wasn't jail, it was the fact that he was a fucking murderer!

I decided to retell this story as I received a very surprising guest in the drive thru at work the other night, one Smelly Brian. He was driving a cab and was looking pretty haggard. I'm not a thin man by any means, but I felt pretty damn svelte looking at him, he was huge. He recognized me and mentioned that Scott is out of jail and working as a manager at McDonalds in Chandler. Let's hope he's still not mad eh?

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Movie Time: Rewind: The Magnificent Seven and North by Northwest

Hey all,

Thought I would add a new semi-regular feature to the blog by recommending some films made before 1976 (my birth year) to perhaps expand some horizons. As much as I talk and write about movies, as well as bitch about the current state of films, I thought it would be fun to recommend some films that many people may have heard about, but never taken the time to see.

I really enjoy classic movies, channels like AMC and TCM are a real treasure trove of great movies and great acting. Movies with style and substance that are just really well made. I started thinking about this the other day when some co-workers were asking me about who my favorite actors were, and I sadly realized that most of them were dead. Actors like Steve McQueen, Cary Grant, John Wayne, Audrey Hepburn, Gene Kelly, The Marx Bros.. the list goes on, and I think many people don't know about how truly great some of these movies are.

This weeks recommendations are The Magnificent Seven and North by Northwest.

First, The Magnificent Seven. I started with this for two reasons, one, it's my favorite movie of all time, and two, it starts my favorite actor of all time, Steve McQueen.

The Magnificent Seven is a western, and it is well documented that I have a soft spot for that particular genre. First off the casting is just spectacular. At the time, the only established star was Yul Brenner, whose bald head and gravelly voice made for an intimidating presence on screen. The rest of the cast were unproven commodities at the time, almost all of whom would go onto to bug screen success. McQueen, arguably the biggest star of the 60's (along with John Wayne) Robert Vaughn, James Coburn, and Charles Bronson can credit this movie as their big break.

The basic premise is that a village of poor Mexican Farmers hire Brenner to assemble a team of hired guns to protect their homes from a group of bandits. It being cheaper to hire men with guns, than to buy guns itself. The movie is a western version of the Akira Kurosawa film, Seven Samurai.

What I enjoy about the film is not only the messages that it sends, that being a hired gun gets you nothing in the end and that true wealth is holding to your responsibilities; but the acting involved in the film. All seven characters really try to steal the camera whenever its on, though McQueen does the better job. Brenner was the bankable star, but every time McQueen is on screen, he does little things with his hat or gun to steal the limelight.

Directed by John Sturges, who would go on to make The Great Escape two years later, it has a memorable score by Elmer Bernstein and a sharp scrip. I love this movie. Until I watched this movie, I hated westerns, and this really opened my eyes.

Now a film that I would also put on my list of all time great films, North by Northwest starring Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint, with director Alfred Hitchcock. In my opinion, this is Hitch's best film. He pushes Grant to a great performance, as an advertising executive who is mistaken for a spy and is sent on a cross country chase to survive. This film is the precursor to the James Bond franchise, without the success of North by Northwest, they would not have made those movies. The most famous scene of Grant being chased by a bi-plane, has been reused in many films, one of the most memorable film scenes in history.

Not only do you have probably the greatest director of all time in Hitchcock at the height of his game, you have Cary Grant doing what he does best, being Cary Grant. I am astonished to think that neither of these men won Oscars for their work during the active years, winning lifetime achievement awards years later. Grant is what I consider to be the classic movie star, an actor adept at suspense, action, drama, romance, and comedy. There was nothing he couldn't do.

North by Northwest is a sure guarantee from me. Iconic and sharp, the perfect blend of suspense and thrills.

Hopefully you liked this feature, I really love movies, and the thought of great films going unwatched really saddens me, so hopefully you are willing to give one a try.

Thanks for reading.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

New Link

Hey all,

I added a new link to the page, one of a really cool illustration site that I caught off the blogger home page.

Also, I read that Owen Wilson tried to take his own life. That really makes me wonder what is going on so bad in his life that suicide sounds like a viable option. I know that money can't buy happiness or love, but something is really wrong when someone who is pretty universally well liked as Owen Wilson is tries to kill himself. You really have to think that maybe something else is going on. He's got a pretty good box office record, so he can't be short for work, and as a Frat Pack(er) we know he has plenty of friends, I am wondering if addictions or something darker is involved.

Who knows if we will ever find out.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Assorted Nuts

Hey all,

I just realized that I posted 3 poems in a row, not a normal activity for me. I like to change the pace up a bit and provide a bit of variety. Sometimes I even hold a poem or two in the que to use when I am unable to write one. Since that bout of writers block though I have been on more of a roll. I am defiantly far more happy with my output of late and wanted to run over a few assorted topics.

Firstly, I actually responded to an online listing for a relationship. I don't know if it will be successful or not, but its progress. I always talk about making a change to my situation, at least this time I am trying something. If I am unsuccessful I am no worse off than before, if I am... well its a start in the right direction.

Two, caught Rush Hour 3 over the weekend, and while I don't feel it was a good movie, certainly the weakest of the three, it did make me laugh more times than I imagined it would. Jackie Chan, in the outtakes had me rolling with different takes of him asking to rent a dirty movie, especially when he said, I like the ones with the hairy women, Burt Reynolds taught me that." I feel it a point here to admit a certain weakness for the movie Smokey and the Bandit, terrible and great and I watch it every time its on TV, despite owning the DVD.

Finally finished season 3 of my favorite TV show, Deadwood. While the season finale was a tad anticlimactic, I am always in awe of the shows writing. I never feel more privileged and stupid than when I watch the show. Each character, even the more throwaway ones, are ripe and complex. A mix of veteran character actors and underrated talent, I will pray that the create the 2 movies to wrap up the show. HBO always cuts the most promising ones first. Besides, there are not enough Westerns on TV anymore.

That about covers the odds and ends of this post. I also posted above a final pic of my tattoo, as I realized I posted the image it was based on, but never the real thing. Tara McPherson actually posted the pic on her MySpace page under her tattoo bulletin. An honor to be sure. As always, thanks for reading.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Casts A Shadow Great And Tall

Hey all,

I sent this poem off for my Dad's birthday with his card. I am not sure how he is going to take it. I am pretty sure he doesn't read my blog but he was one of my influences in restarting this blog and putting poetry on it. He is a pretty good poet, far better than I, who has had a few published, both online and in poetry compilations. He taught me the value of words, both writing and reading very young and I really admire him. Hopefully he likes the poem, and hopefully so do you. Thanks for reading.


Casts a Shadow Great and Tall


I may not be the greatest son

And I've lost more battles than I've won.

The mistakes I've made are more than few.

But in my life there's one thing that holds true.

I'm blessed by a father who is always there.

To help me through my worries and care.


Never quick with an unkind word.

Who'd rather listen than be heard.

Lessons learned to teach me right,

Didn't fault or feel contrite.

Our interests shared and humor found,

His influence on me is so profound.


He casts a shadow great and tall,

That affects everyone where it may fall.

Lucky am I that he's my Dad,

If I am half the man he is count me glad.

As a Father you sure raised the bar.

I just want you to know how important you are.



One day I hope to measure to you.

Until that date I hold this to be true.

I hope you understand what I want to allay.

You mean more to me than these words can say,

Holding tight my respect and adulation.

Dad, you're always my inspiration.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Shade Of My Heart

Hey all,

Last night I struggle to even finish that poem, yet this night this poem practically flew from myself to the keyboard. I actually reread last nights poem, and its not as bad as I felt it was last night. I don't know that its as poetic as some of my others, but it definably has its own merits. This is a poem based those times where you tell someone how you feel and they don't reciprocate. Something I think everyone has experienced in their lives. Thanks for reading.



Shade Of My Heart


Underneath the sounding beat,

The hurt now found in full replete.

Can't take back what was said.

Opened soul now left to bled.


Told you things I felt so deep.

That truth inside I could not keep.

Laid bare to your perfect ways,

To honor you 'till end of days.


Every moment spent with you,

Find passion's growth to greater accrue.

You fill me full of warmth and light,

I ask that you provide the spark's ignite.


This final plea I now impart,

To nestle deep in the shade of my heart.

For now until the final call,

I'll give of you my heartfelt all.


And once I said what I had held repose.

Shed this armor now to lay expose.

You looked at me with sadder eyes,

What you would tell me now was easy to surmise.


How flattered you were by this admission.

But what I felt was solely of my own volition.

You'd never seen me quite that way,

How sorry you were if I'd been led astray.


You claimed you never meant to hurt,

But that's the only feeling left to assert.

If only I had held my tongue.

To prevent the end before it begun.


Now I'm left here by myself,

Store again my heart on the shelf,

And when next I feel this love to burst,

I can know I've already faced the worst.



End of Line.
Gerrad!

Always and Forever

Hey all,

I have definitely been struggling with my newest poem, looking for a fresh take on the subject matter. I really don't know how successful this attempt is. It feels like I forced it a bit, but since I really haven't written that much poetry since coming back from Comic Con, like 1 poem I think, I thought it was time for another. My thoughts lately have been turning to maybe try my hand at some fiction, debating between several story ideas. I'll drop a separate post on what I'm thinking there. I'm hoping I can find a good subject for my next poem. I've creatively been in a bit of a poetic funk since returning to work. Hopefully with a bit more balance in my life the creative spark will rekindle a bit.

Anyway, hope you enjoy this attempt. Thanks for reading!


Always and Forever


My heart may be broken.

Though what I offered was far from token.

You may have moved on.

Newfound affection to dote upon.

But I'll keep you in my mind.



I just can't listen to your warning.

Despite that you left me in mourning.

I can't tell you goodbye.

Got to save you from those tears you cry.

To this fate I've been resigned.



I know you don't love me anymore.

But I made a promise one just can't ignore.

To always be at your side.

Any mistreatment won't abide.

Though what we had is now maligned.



You don't see what we've lost.

A price you paid without looking at the cost.

And your new love may treat you right.

Should he hurt you he best prepare to fight.

A part of us is forever intertwined.



I'll be there for you always and forever.

Connected by this bond you just can't sever.

Hold true to my belief,

And protect you from this grief.

Even after you've left me behind.



End of Line.
Gerrad!

True Story Time!

Hey all!

Thought I would update you all with another true story. First off I would be remiss if I didn't point out that the inspiration to tell this particular story stems from a current condition in the house. We have no fucking air conditioning. It's like 95 degrees in here, I just feel hot and sweaty and fairly gross.

When I first moved out with my good friends Jason and Jeremy, we had a little dumpy 2 bedroom apartment, over in Glendale. It was probably 1997 or so. Jeremy and myself had gone to a movie and came home late on night. We walk into the door and are assaulted by a sweltering hot living room. The AC was blowing out hot air and had been doing so for quite some time. We look to the couch, to find Jason, clad solely in boxers, eating a pizza he cooked in the oven. its a hundred fucking degrees and he uses the oven....He looks at us an says a line I will never forget, or let him live down, "It's fuckin' hot in here huh?" No fucking shit.

Anyway Jerms gets pissed because Jason didn't turn off the AC as it was blowing hot air. In Jason's defense, neither he or myself were allowed to touch the AC as we couldn't be trusted to regulate the temperature, so Jason just left it alone. I swear it was so hot in their. I looked to the two of them and said I wasn't sleeping there, I was heading to my parents house to sleep in the cool. They could have came, but neither would. Jerms uttering the phrase, "I pay my rent here, I'll sleep here." Fuck that.. I was getting some sleep.

I knew they were kind of pissed I was dumping out, but I didn't care.. it was to hot. I got to my parents house and woke my dad, told him I was gonna sleep on the couch. I'll never forget in the morning he cried out aloud as He thought I was a burglar, not remembering that we talked .. I guess while he was still asleep. I asked him what kind of burglar sleeps on the couch.

Jerms and Jason later professed to me that it was probably the worst night of sleep either of them had ever had. Laying straight on the mattress with all the fans blowing. Horrible.

Real quick note, Saw Superbad last night and I would definitely recommend it. There is not one super funny scene, like in 40 Year old vergin or Old School, but its consistently funny thought the film. A little bit of the Judd Apatow (the director of the films) heart at the end, but it wasn't overly played like in Knocked Up. Very funny stuff.

Here's hoping I can post again soon. It's so hot I can't even use the can let alone stand it in the computer room for to long. Both places I want to sit back and enjoy whats going on. Here's hoping my friend can get the ac fixed by tomorrow and things be back to normal by Tuesday.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Summer Movies Part 2

Hey all,

Thought I would post on the second half of the summer blockbuster season. Managed to catch Transformers, Stardust, The Bourne Ultimatum, and The Simpson's Movie. I already posted on Harry Potter 5 and Die Hard 4, and I have to be honest, with what I thought would have been the strongest summer movie seasons in history has been disappointing to me. I haven't caught Rush Hour 3, but by no means do I feel like that film will be burning down the box office.

The Bourne Ultimatum, which I thought would be good, was the weakest of the trilogy. It basically the same as the first two films, stretching the concept of the thinking man's action movie, but for me it got bogged down by the heavy plot and despite a really good fight sequence, I don't feel that the movie improved on what they did in the first two. I also feel like you wee missing the female lead in this film, in Identity it helped humanize a very stoic character in Damon, and in Supremacy it provided him with a purpose after her murder. In three the stoicism is just a bit heavy handed for me.

The Simpson's Movie was pretty good. For me it was just like the series, always fun to watch, but not something that you have to see. After 16 or 17 seasons of the show, its an institution now and you really can't push the envelope in ways that the South Park movie did, though they did try, adding come cartoon wang and curse words, albeit mild as they were. It's like a long episode, you are gonna see it at some point, why wait.

Stardust I caught Sunday and I was a bit disappointed. I felt they really changed the story a bit to much for my liking. I am sure that if you hadn't read the book then you will like it. A fantasy love story that they popped up for the big screen. I was really missing the longer introduction provided in the book and the really well written ending of the book. The intro in the book really set up the ending of the book with some good character twists and a provided what I thought was a great twist ending. In what I am assuming was an effort to trim time they cut all that and simplified those chapters to add a cross dressing sky pirate in Robert De Niro, who while being a character in the book, was nothing like is on screen counter part. I suppose I am a bit to much of a curmudgeon, I just wanted to see the story I read, and I was disappointed that they changed it so much. Jason and Autumn, whom I went with, both said they enjoyed it immensely, so this film may just be my taste.

Transformers I accept is entirely on me. I hated this movie. It just wasn't the Transformers that I grew up with. I hated that they all had CGI faces, trying to give them lips and expressions... their freakin robots! It came across poorly, and Optimus needed that face guard that he has in the series. Bumblebee as a Camaro was a shameless attempt to make him more relevant and cool looking (and product placement). Somehow Soundwave became a Gremiln or a munchie or something, I don't know what was up with his character. Why was one transformer a giant scorpion and all the rest vehicles? Why was there so much plot development with Shia Lebouf and next to none with the actual transformers? What exactly did Megatron transform into, a jet with a tail? I couldn't tell. I undertsand that everyone but me liked the movie and I can accept that, I just really hated it.

All in all i was really disappointed this summer. So many lackluster movies.
My top 3:
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Live Free or Die Hard
Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer (yeah I'm, surprised too)

(if you count all year I'd put 300 and Pan's Labyrinth up there as well)
Bottom 3:
Transformers
Oceans 13
Spiderman 3

Here is hoping that the fall and winter releases came pull some of the doldrums out of this season. Definitely on my list is 3:10 to Yuma, a remake of a really good western with Christian Bale and Russel Crowe, and the Golden Compass looks to be good, at least the best of the Harry Potter clones coming out this year.

There are a few others that may turn out well enough,
Resident Evil: Extinction, I liked the first two well enough. I am Legend, sci-fi Will Smith, The second Chronicles of Narnia film, Brad Pitt's Assassination of Jesse James western, 30 Days of Night, vampire horror. Personally n the terms of no plot action films, I gotta see Shoot'em Up with Clive Owen and War wit Jet Li and Jason Statham, both movies look like pure action, my kryptonite.

Not sure if I am alone in my estimation of these films, but that's my two cents. What's the point of a blog if not to bitch about stuff. I mean they got me to still go see these movies, right? You know that I would totally go see more of many of these franchises should they make another, all in the hopes that they would be better. Maybe not the Oceans movies, as I didn't like 2 or 3, but Certainly Spidey 4 or Pirates 4. Ah well, no one to blame but me.


End of Line.
Gerrad!

Mike Wieringo

Hey all,

Sunday marked the passing of Mike Wieringo, a very talented comic book artist, of a heart attack. While I didn't know him, I did get the oppertunity to meet him several years ago at Comic Con, when he was marketing his creator owned series Tellos. He was an unbelivably nice guy in those few moments that we talked, and I find it a shame that he was taken at the age of 44.

Mike was the kind of comic book artist that I admire, not the greatest or the flashiest, but the guy who was good and could keep his commitments. So many artists today can't maintain their deadlines, but he was dependable and gave you quality work on a consistant level. I hope he is in a better place.

Thanks for the work Mike.


End of Line.
Gerrad!

FTM

Hey all,

Here is my latest poem. I tried some different techniques with this one and I am actually pretty happy with how it turned out. It's sort of my thank you to those that inspire me to create and write these poems. Hope you like it.



FTM



From the many you are the one.

Who leads me to do what i have done.

Formulate this mind which you've lead to thought.

I thank you for showing me what I once sought.

Finding the means to convey from my heart.

In your work I have found that missing part.

Few things motivate like your skill,

In your work I find a desire to fulfill.

Forging this matter with the fires of passion.

Has shown me the means to my expression's fashion.

Forming this missive of which I create,

Pairing these words for which to conjugate,

Free to manufacture my thoughts into word,

With your images I find my abilities stirred.

For that manner your pictures always inspire,

Your imagination and talent will I always admire.

Favor this message for you are the cause.

To lay soul to public both my good and my flaws.

Forever this moment shall carry my appreciation,

Everyday you provide me with such inspiration.



End of Line.
Gerrad!

True Story Time!

Hey all!

First off thanks for the words of support to that next to last column. I appreciate it it very much.

I realized that I have told a lot of true stories about things happening to me, but never one I myself did. Now I am going to change that. What follows is what I would categorize as the worst thing I have ever done. This is pretty bad and I hope that you realize it was stupid and immature... but its still kinda funny...

Several years back, I would say around 1997 or 1998, I attended the Vans Warp Tour. Here in Arizona, Warp Tour being an outdoor concert, and it being July, well it was fucking hot. A good size group of us were hanging around as the performers were coming to a close, there were probably a good 3 or 4 bands left, but the bulk of the "house" bands had completed their sets. We were drinking some water and were pretty dehydrated, when one of my friends, Luke (whose own adventures with us will be a true story column in the future) said that one of us should piss in the empty bottle and throw it into the crowd. Now there is no way (NO WAY) that any of us should have said yes to this, the kicker was myself and my pal Bill said okay. I took the bottle, but being so dehydrated, couldn't fill it up.

Bill, picking up my slack, managed to squirt the other half out, into the same bottle as me and I carried the warm plastic bottle of piss in my pocket until the final act came on stage, Bad Religion, came on.

What proceeded next I will never forget. Perfectly screwing the bottle cap on about halfway we arced it high into the crowd. At the apex of the throw, the cap flies off as the precursor to a golden spray arching from the bottle. It windmills all the way down spraying until finally hitting a girl in the head. Seeing her do the "I just got dunked head slouch" and arm raise was at the time hysterical. We unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, lost her in the crowd and did not see the actual realization that she had just received a group golden shower.

Part of me after all these years feel I should be more ashamed than I actually am. I mean their is not a chance I would think to do that again, but when your like 20 or so many stupid things seem like good ideas.

There you have it. The worst thing I have ever done. Think about the worst thing YOU have ever done. Could you admit it publicly? I did what I did and there is no changing that.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Leggo my Lego!

Hey all!

Okay this is just one of the most bizarre things I have ever read about.

An 8 foot tall LEGO man was fished out of the ocean in the Netherlands wit h the words "No Real Than You Are" inscribed on his blue shirt.

Nobody knows where the LEGO Man came from or what the shirt means. An 8 foot tall LEGO man in the fucking ocean.

If that's not the first sign of the apocalypse than I don't know what is.


End of Line.
Gerrad!

Moving On

Hey all.

(edit)One quick note before I begin, I fixed the double rhyme in the last post that I missed somehow during the poems proofread. Sorry about that.


I seriously don't know what to think right now. There is some serious craziness going on in my family.

First off there is the issue with my brother. While I was away in Las Vegas he packed up all of his shit and snuck out of the house. Maybe a little back story first, eh? My brother had broken up with his GF last year and it was really ugly. She had a daughter from a previous marriage and Gregg was really close to her. When his GF left him, it really tore him up. Both emotionally and financially as she ran up a lot of debt on him. She actually paid the bills the bills in the house in Gregg's name and was in charge of his finances. She stopped paying bills and such kept the money with her so she would have money when she left him. It was really ugly and my brother was hurt bad. After this happened I convinced my brother to move in with me for a little while to get his shit straight, catch up on his bills and whatnot. He agreed to pay a little rent while he stayed here too, $300 a month for everything, utilities, cable, Internet, ect.. you know not much so that he could get things straight and a little to help me out too.

When he moved out he didn't tell me or anything. He just left. I was very hurt that he didn't even call me or anything, I have to hear about it from Jason, who came home and said that his stuff was gone. I feel I should point out too that Gregg had no furniture or anything, stuff he was supposedly going to buy. He moved in with his new GF of like a month and then last week he proposed to her.

I don't begrudge someones happiness but I think my brother is rushing things. I don't want to see him get hurt again. I have to wonder too about his financial situation as he owes money on 2 cars, skipped out on the last 2 months rent to me, stole $25.00 from me, and was still dealing with issues from his credit card after his old GF left. I hope I am wrong and everything works out for him.

To top it off my Mom came by work last night and dropped a bombshell. She is getting engaged and moving to Las Vegas with some guy she barely knows. I should be surprised by this but I am not. This will be the third time she has done this since leaving my Dad. When things start to take a tough turn my Mom looks for an easy out and this is it. She is loosing her job as a home care provider (all under the table of course) next week and now she feels like she is going to be screwed. So she is falling back to old ground, the easy out. By brother and her are a lot alike. I guess my Mom knew this guy a few years ago when she was in the Goldwings motorcycle club (yeah my Mom a biker...*sigh*) and they reunited in Las Vegas last week when my Mom took a solo vacation there, something I now find a little circumspect. Apparently he charmed the pants (insert uncomfortable pun here) off her her and now my Mom is leaving in 2 weeks.

I don't know what to feel. On one hand I think that this is some crazy shit, but then I think, am I just jealous that they have what I want? I am not saying I want to get married as soon as possible, just that maybe I don't seem to have the same opportunities. My brother and I are estranged over his leaving, (not by the actual leaving but by how he sneaked out and didn't talk to me about it) and now my Mom dumping out of town. It seems that everyone I care about is moving on, and I am still right here. You know, maybe its just that I don't see how rushing a relationship will fix problems in the now, I guess maybe I am too long term investment minded. Anyway thanks for lsitening (reading) to my rant.


End of Line.
Gerrad!

Love's Lost Lorn

Hey all.

Here is my latest poem. I was thinking about all those unhealthy relationships people have in their life when you try to recapture what you once had. I definitely wanted to do something a little longer while staying succinct enough to get my meaning across without getting to repetitive. Hope you like.



Love's Lost Lorn


You called me up on the phone.

It's been a year since you left me alone.


You said you were sorry to atone,

That I was everything you'd ever known.



You'd left your old boyfriend behind.

The way he treated you was less than kind.


When you left you weren't in your right mind.

You claimed are hearts are forever entwined.



So sorry that you done me wrong.

You thought of me when you heard our song.


He's made you so unhappy for far to long.

Now you want to come back to where you belong.



You sobbed aloud that I'd been missed.

Reminded me of the first time we kissed.


Those old feelings you had to hard to resist.

That without me you didn't truly exist.



You say that things were bad.

Want to rekindle what we had.


That not having me makes you so sad.

But when you left me I felt so bad.



Without you I cried out all my tears.

Why did you leave me after all those years?


There is no way the damage just disappears.

And none of your reasons can soothe my fears.



I always wondered what I did to make you leave.

Was its something that I couldn't perceive?


Now your return is to hard to believe.

Is this another lie in the web you weave?




Broken love left me with this pain.

To much time has passed to complain.


I know now what you want to obtain.

But there's nothing left here to sustain.


You want our love to be reborn.

When all our ties have been cut shorn.


After all the time that I did mourn.

Now what's left is love's lost lorn.



End of Line.
Gerrad!

Concert Time: Ska is Dead Tour!

Hey all!

Saturday night my pal Bill and myself hit a really good concert. At a packed house at the Marquee in Tempe, Against All Authority, Streetlight Manifesto, Less Than Jake, and Reel Big Fish played a scorching set. This was basically a ska coming out party as everyone in attendance went nuts. Kind of nice to see the ska scene kicking and screaming a bit.

Against All Authority is an okay band in my estimation, not one of my favorites but I have a few albums on my IPOD, and they played a pretty good 40 minutes, no complaints.

Streetlight Manifesto was a band that I have never heard before and they were great! They are defiantly an up and coming ska band deserving of some wider recognition. Its good to hear some new ska bands making music as the ska scene has been DOA the last few years. The house went crazy for Streetlight too. Bill, whom I consider an authority on all things ska had never heard of them and was disappointed in myself to find a popular ska band he didn't know about. We both agreed to hit them up on I Tunes later.

Less Than Jake played a good set too. They chose people from the audience to come up and play Price is Right style games to determine the set lists. You played Plinko and whatever slot the chip fell in designated what album they would base the set list off of. They also spun the big wheel to determine the second part of the set list. I thought it was a very novel idea and it really got the crowd into the music. They played my favorite Less Than Jake song, The Science of Selling Yourself Short too so I had to give them a positive review.

Reel Big Fish tore the fucking hose down. They played all their great songs, the whole crowd was singing and skanking, myself included! They did great covers of Boys Don't Cry by the Cure and Take on Me by A-Ha. They even did Enter Sandman by Metalicca all horned out. It was awesome. It was just great show. I was left completely drained by the end of the night. Just an excellent live act. They also played some stuff off their new album was had some songs I was diggin. Bill picked up the album and he's cutting me a burn copy.

We swapped burned CD's this week, him giving me some new ska and punk bands to check out, like CIV and Animal Chin, two bands I know nothing about except Bill's insistence of excellence, as well as the new Dropkick Murphy. I cut him a copy of Social Distortions last studio album, Sex, Love and Rock and Roll along with their new song Far Behind. I also got him some Journey and some assorted I tunes downloads. I also gave him one of my favorite new Cd's, Vagiant. A Boston based grrl rock band, I ordered their CD from the website. Sort of a sloppy loose angry rock, I really did the whole CD. They had a song on Guitar Hero 2 called FTK and that turned me onto them You should check out their music on their MySpace page, under Vagiantboston.

Anyway that's my concert update. I have a lot of late night shifts this week so I will try to finish of my next poem for another update, as well as a rundown on the second half of the summer movies rundown.

Thanks for reading.


End of Line.
Gerrad!

Assorted Nuts

Hey all!

Not a whole lot to update today, just wanted to drop a few quick lines about a few odds and ends.

Picked up the expansion for Guitar Hero, Rock the 80's Encore. This is definitely the weakest installment of the series. For $50.00 I want more out of the game. On the previous games you had like 35 to 40 songs, plus another 20 or so unlockable songs. This one has a flat 30 songs with limited unlockable content, no new songs or outfits or alternate characters to unlock.I am threw the medium set list and I pretty much bought what I wanted. When you consider that the earlier games shipped with our without a guitar controller, buying it at $50.00 without still got you more songs. I know that it is supposed to be a game to tie you over until the big releases this Christmas in GH3 or Rock Band, but it is still kind of a rip off.

I thought I would also take a moment to wax a bit about the summer television time. As things are pretty dry right now I must suggest tuning into what has quickly become one of my favorite programs, Ninja Warrior on G4. Its basically an Iron Man version of American Gladiator with real people competing in impossible obstacle courses. I get so into whether or not my favorite competitors finish, I can't wait for the new tournament to air in the fall. Basically its held in Japan twice a year and its amazing to watch. A better example is a serious MXC challenge, its totally awesome.

In fact, G4 on a whole is a great channel to watch something on when there is nothing to watch. Attack of the Show is a painless way to spend an hour updating you on things that I tend to like, like games, technology, movies, comics... all sorts of stuff.

That's about it. I have heard through different channels that people are actually reading this blog, which to me is a great honor. I appreciate anyone who takes some time out of their day to read my stuff. Thanks!

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Among A Dream

Hey all!

I took at a stab at the second poem I wrote on the plane. I used the majority of the stuff I did write, I just moved a lot around. I think I kept the same inspiration for the poem, my intent. I do know that at some point I rhymed the word beacon with the word concrete. I don't know WHAT that was about. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this poem, something a bit more upkey than my last few. I wanted to do something positive when I attempted this one. Hope you enjoy.


Among A Dream


I find myself among a dream,

Things are not what they seem.

For all is not as appears,

When waking life interferes.



Walking with what went unseen.

To find a change in this routine.

Stagnate life may find me awake,

But sleeping visions can soothe this ache.



Hope is now given chance.

Possibility no passing glance.

When every thought can come concrete,

All meaning becomes complete.



Hidden desires lose their disguise.

When impulse can overrule the wise.

We don't always know what we seek,

Though unbidden dreams may offer a peek.



Pay close heed to slumber's thought.

When tension's grip has you fraught,

At the time you feel so ashen,

Your dreams are the beacon of passion.


End of Line.
Gerrad!

Slow The Day

Happy August folks!

Here is the second poem that I wrote on vacation. Well technically its the third poem but I can't really read the second poem to well. I wrote it on the plane from Vegas to San Diego. Cramped seat plus drunkenness equals some really bad handwriting and some rhymes that don't even.. well rhyme. I will work on that one and try a polish, it will technically fall in my 2 attempts or less rule so hopefully I can get something out of it.

I wrote this poem in the car ride home from San Diego. Hope you enjoy.


Slow The Day


Left behind once again.

No regards to consequence.

A decision fraught with regret.

For all must one day render recompense.


The same mistakes are made again.

Always seeks the quicker route.

But the easy path you take at last,

Can never subset that feeling of doubt.


Future days will come to pass,

Those choices made to soothe the present,

In your hurry to fill the day,

You can't see what is truly absent.


Slow the day and see the stars,

Moonlight night or summer sky.

The world will turn around this night,

And new opportunities ahead will lie.


Take heart the words here said.

Can't see what you've left.

Selfish days leads distress,

Forgotten friends found bereft.



But here I must let you go.

I can't be the one always there.

Though it still hurts sometimes,

To think that you don't care.


End of Line.
Gerrad!

Vacation Part 2

Hey all!

Thought I would update the second part of my vacation today, The San Diego Comic Con. This was my 14th comic con, I've been attending since 1993, only missing one since then.

I love the comic con, its really one of the few times in the year were you can totally immerse yourself in so many aspects of different things that you like. Comics are just a part of it, new movies, video games, art displays, meeting celebrities, interacting with other convention goers, discovering cool toys or books you didn't know about before. There are just so many things going on its very easy to fill up four days of floor time.

Thursday was a short day for me, as I flew in to SD in the afternoon, after getting zero sleep the night before in Vegas and still a little drunk, working the floor that day was a very draining experience. Still, the highlight of my entire trip, Vegas and the con, was getting to see Tara McPherson again.

The tattoo I got was of one of her pieces, and her reaction to seeing it and the positive feelings I got was totally overwhelming. She was super excited to see it and was really impressed with how it looked, and even by the fact that I'd chosen to get her work tattooed. Coupled with the fact that I went so big with it and it was my first, I think she was appreciative. I know it made my trip. She asked me to email her a picture, and I need to get on that soon. She signed her art book and even did a really cool sketch in it, which was totally unexpected.

She is a big influence on my writing and helped me to identify my subject matter in my poetry. Looking at her art really inspires me, and whenever I get stuck on something, I pull out her book, Lonely Hearts: The Art of Tara McPherson, to get back on track.

The rest of the con was a lot of fun too! I got to meet Warren Ellis, a great writer who just published a really good, albeit really bizarre book called Crooked Little Vein. I finished it in about a day. I also got to meet James Jean, another really good artist and pick up some cool prints from him. He also did a little drawing in his art book, Process Recess, which was cool.

Friday night we all hit the Eisner's awards. Sort of the Oscars for comics. That had to be the longest ceremony ever running well over 4 hours long. Jason and myself have hit the Eisner's before, but as this was Autumn's first time, I am afraid she may not have enjoyed it. It really ran far too long and wasn't the best year for nominations. Beside my comic shop, Atomic Comics, was up for the Eisner of best retailer and lost. I think out of 20 catagories, I only predicted 3 wrong winners.. apparently I know my useless comic crap eh?

Saturday was defiantly highlighted by the bizarreness of the annual Masquerade, 51 contestants who compete in a costume contest. This one always provides some good laughs, as apparently its okay for me to throw stones as these geeks from my glass house. Just the sheer ridiculousness of the costumes and the overacting of the contestants is always a ripe bit of fun, especially after a few pitchers of beer! My only complaint was the hour long fucking play they put on to give the judges a chance to deliberate. It was a play put on by a Kung Fu society about pirates fighting ninjas. It was long, it was bad and it was poorly scripted. It literally ran for an hour. God it was awful. Cheesy choreographed fight scenes, sort of a Wushu version of a Lloyd Kaufman or Ed Wood movie. Terrible. Have I mentioned how long it was? Seriously, it was long.

Sunday was for the last minute stuff, you know, the stuff you don't need but end up buying as you haven't spent all of your money yet. We cut out a little early to get a jump on the ride home.

I didn't have any buyer's remorse over anything, I usually do on the way home but not this year. The worst year was 2005 when I paid $300 for a custom made lightsaber. Its totally awesome... but I paid $300 fucking dollars for it! My big purchases this year were a Gentle Giant mini bust of a Clone Trooper from Star Wars. I paid $50 for it and I have already seen it resaling for $200. It was only available at con so I am cool with that. I bought a few books, Warren Ellis new novel, a Phil Noto Art book, and I plugged about $25 worth of good reads out of the dollar and $2 bins, getting almost complete runs of the Vertigo series Moonshadow, White Tiger and a Dr. Strange mini that were all worth it. I also bought David Mack's new children's book The Shy Creatures.

Next to Tara McPherson, David Mack is a huge influence, at least tonelally with his work. He is such a great writer and artist her images really are beautiful. I have been following his stuff for years and support everything he creates, even a children's book. Hey.. maybe one day I'll need it.

Perhaps the nerdiest thing I did was to make arrangements to get a Jayne hat. For those of you out of the know, Jayne is a character on the great show Firefly, and in one episode her mother sends him a knitted hat which he proudly wears. It's terrible and nerdy.. and I had to have one. It was the same feeling I gt when I paid for that lightsaber.. I knew as soon as I saw it that I would own one. +1 nerd point to me.

The meals on this trip were great too. We typically have a few place we hit every year. Hooters, as the San Diego Hooters is chock full of good looking ladies and is a great primer for getting toasted and hitting the Masquerade. We also hit a place called the Strip Club, which lets you cook your own steaks, and boy are they good steaks. Jason probably eats the rarest steak I ave ever seen, I swear to you it still moo's a little when he cuts it. We also hit a pub called the Elephant and Castle, a place that serve authentic English food, and every year I get the bangers and mash. Sausages with mash potatoes, baked beans and a apple chutney. We changed it up a little and hit Anthony's Fish Grotto this year on Sunday. I like seafood, and so does Autumn, but Jason doesn't so most years we skip out on the seafood. This year Autumn wanted some so we got to override him. Anthony's is one of San Diego's most popular fish eateries and it was no wonder why. I had a wonderful Tuscan stuffed swordfish, which was a fist time experience for me. for dessert I had spumagio, a weird sort of Italian flavored ice cream, green with cherries in it. It was great! Something I definitely want more of.


What was without a doubt the most important thing to happen at con didn't happen to me, but to my best friend Jason. He made some serious headway into gaining some actual published work. Viper comics and Penny-Farthing Press seem to be really interested in publishing him, and there is a possibility that his friend Matt may line up some work for them at Dark Horse. Jason is a talented creative person, and his dedication to his craft are are real inspiration to me. Him getting published would mean just as much to me as to him.. well maybe him a bit more as he is the creative force. I have known he was great since 8th grade. Seeing him improve and polish and continue to push himself and really dedicate the time to his craft, his work, his girlfriend, and his friends is really awesome. I don't know how he does it. I am honored to say that maybe I had a little hand in helping him along the way. He is a much better friend that I deserve. I have a really good feeling that this is his year.


Anyway, that about sums up the vacation. I hope to post my next poem tomorrow after work. I have to work 1 day before I can finish out my vacation. Thanks for reading.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

A Company of One

Hey all.

Here is the first poem I wrote on my vacation. I wrote this on some scrap paper that I had in my pocket. I was alone, in the gardens in front of Ceasar's Palace in Las Vegas late on Tuesday night, just as it was raining. I sat under an overhang in the garden and wrote this. I am directly transcribing the poem from the paper without any modifications, other than the notes I made on the paper itself to keep the moment alive as it were. I took the title from another line in a previous poem which seemed to carry a special resonance in the moment I was writing. Hope you don't think it a cheap tactic. I can already see places where I could make it better, but that wasn't what I wrote at the time and would be cheating, at least to me. Hope you enjoy.


A Company of One


In a sea of white,

I don the black.

When everyone joins the herd,

I stray from the pack.

A company of one,

One more moment found undone.


When all my friends gather,

I hold myself back.

While the world reads Stephen King,

I relate to Kerouac.

A company of one,

This solitary race left to run.


As you follow the path,

I avoid the beaten track.

For when you fufill your dreams,

I'm just another selfless hack.

A company of one,

My emptiness long since begun.


A relationship hold possibilities,

Yet I have not skill or tack.

To avoid all opportunity,

Can yield no target to attack.

A company of one,

A battle fought that can't be won.


While you fill your life with love,

I hold this empty sack.

Every time you kiss your lover,

I'm reminded of what I lack.

A company of one,

All that matters now outdone.


End of Line.
Gerrad!

Vacation Part 1

Hey all!

Finally back from my vacation and I thought since so much was going on I would split the updates into two columns. The first column will deal with my time in Las Vegas, tomorrow the Comic Con. I also wrote 3 poems on my vacation that I will update over the course of the week.

Las Vegas was not as much fun as I wish it was. Vegas is about getting wild and partying all the time, and that's not really an option when you are there for work. I have never really considered myself a loner or solitary person by nature, but I found myself mostly on my own in Vegas. All the managers sort of fell into cliques, which I guess I am not really part of. There is one manager, Ramon who I would consider a good friend, but the rest are really just acquaintances. I don't really hang out with work people all that much, I mean the last thing I want to do most of the time after I get off work is sit around and talk about more work with people that I have to see all the time. It doesn't feel like my own time then.

Anyway I ate a lot of solitary meals Monday and Tuesday. I did try something new to eat, something I like to do when the opportunity presents itself. I ate Veal Sweetbreads, which is the thymus gland of a baby cow. Sounds gross... but tasted good. My boss thought it was pretty gross, but that made me like it more.

The convention stuff was pretty tame, I didn't take a whole lot away from the booths that I didn't know, but I did get a few ideas on tome things I will use to build some sales.. I am gonna try to do a reading hour at the store. Should be good for the community and good for the kids and hopefully build some sales. The learning events were at least more interesting this time, we did one where we got to build welcome baskets for struggling families who are living in the Ronald McDonald house. Any you look at it it beats going to real work.

Tuesday I got so pissed at the rest of the team that I told them all to fuck off and quit calling me. We were supposed to meet at a bar across the street from Ballys. I was staying at the Paris and those bastards had me crossing the strip like 3 times, and its raining and I am getting pissed off and finally I told them off. I find out the next day they were next door to Ballys in a little shitbox casino bar down a side street. None of which was ever told to me.

Wednesday was better. After the convention closed and we ate dinner as a division, we went to closing services. They had a few bands, one was made up off members of Santanna and Journey and they did Santanna's big hits, I think they were the Greg Rolie Band. After that the main act for closing ceremonies were Earth, Wind, and Fire. This would have been great if I was like 45 or 50 i guess, but I didn't really get into it.

After the session a bunch of the supervisors and store managers got together in one of the Paris bars and proceeded to get drunk. We started at 11:00pm, and I didn't stop drinking until 8:30 am. Rusty Nails, my drink of choice (scotch and Drambuie)and various shots led to us getting pretty trashed. Everyone starting cashing in about 5:00am, except for the director of Phoenix, Chris (whom has been making our life a bit of hell and is a big reason I am looking for work), Sherry, and operations expert, Roxanne, a fellow restaurant manager, and myself. I don't have the clearest recollection but I do remember dancing with them and the girls exchanging lesbian encounter tales, and Chris and myself talking music and movies and generally getting along. We capped it off with beer and crepes at 8:30 for breakfast and then I showered and changed, packed my bags and hit the airport for my 11:00am flight to the Con. I didn't sleep for like 48 hours straight As I conned all day Thursday after the flight!

I'll update more soon!

End of Line.
Gerrad!

I Feel So Far Away

Hey all!

I don't know if this poem is a success or not. I really wanted to do something different and have a returning verse in a poem, sort of a chorus or something. I tend to think that this wasn't my best attempt. I took 2 long cracks at this before I finished it. This isn't my favorite, but I gotta post the good and the less than good, though maybe someone will like it. Eh either way enjoy.


I Feel So far Away


Forgotten once again,

Nothing ever stays the same.

Yet here I am now,

No more lives left on the game.

All by myself left here to play.

While I feel so far away.



So many years have come and gone.

Everything seems to have changed.

Time may move on,

But I'll be left estranged.

It doesn't matter anyway,

Cause I feel so far away.


A lonely path I walk,

Surrounded on all sides,

No one seems to care.

They wash out with the tides.

A sea of people that never stay,

But I feel so far away.


Tired of the same old grind,

And I know all these familiar places.

Everyone is so far lost.

I can't remember all their faces.

Left alone with my dismay,

Now I feel so far away.


Now i find myself again,

In this company of one.

Remember better times,

For I'm on a journey long begun.

All affection did I betray.

Still I feel so far away.


Isolated by design,

The only thing left is all the pain.

I can't keep it all inside,

And yet here I remain.

All that's left is this cliche.

And I feel so far away.


End of Line.
Gerrad!

This is SPINAL TAP!

Hey all.

Just a quick update today. One of my favorite movies is This is Spinal Tap, which if you haven't seen is a must. A great send up of 80's rock excess and really one of the first mockumentry style films. What makes the movie so good is that the three main characters, David St. Hubbins, played my Michael McKean, Nigel Tufnel, played by Christopher Guest, and Derek Smalls, played by Harry Shearer, really play thier own instruments and sing thier own songs. The kicker is that the songs, as a parody on 80's rock excess, are actually really good and catchy, Like Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight, or Big Bottom.

Anyway Spinal Tap has kind of taken on a cult status since the 1984 film and they reunited for Live Earth this past week. I caught the performance on MSN and I really wish i could have gone to England to see them perform. They did Stonehenge, their mock rock opera, A new song called Warm as Hell, which wasn't bad, and Big Bottom. Big Bottom, which all three characters play bass guitar on was great! Funny too, as they had all the bassists playing the UK Live Earth come out and play bass on the song, like 15 guys playing bass. Members of Foo Fighters, Metallica, James Blunt, Beastie Boys, Madonna's band's bassists/.. everyone!

It's really awesome that they reunited, and I gotta hope for a US show! I seriously would drive to wherever they were playing just to say I saw the Tap. Check out the MSN feed on Big Bottom and sample the album for the original movie. You won't be sorry!

You have to turn that performance to 11!

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Vacation Update

Hey all!

Not a whole lot to update on today, though I want to admit how excited I am getting for my vacation next week. First off, work is sending me to National Convention for 4 days in Las Vegas. This should be excellent as work is picking up my flight, hotel, and food bills for the 4 and a half days I am there.

McDonald's is putting me up in the Paris hotel, and supplying me with like a $100 spending money. We will spend Monday flying in and going to one meet and greet/ rally then have a free night. After that Tuesday and Wednesday have us attending different seminars and booths in order to help us learn new techniques in management and equipment. Tuesday night will be a free night by about 9pm so plenty of time to do stuff then. Wednesday night will see me at a beach cookout type thing until 11 or 12 at night so I don't think that I will be getting to crazy that night.

I am sure we will do some drinking and such, last time I went to convention I was partying with the regional director of the Rocky Mountain area( Vegas, Phoenix, Denver) until 5 am one night. Hell I only spent like $200 of my own cash last time work put me up. If you now the right people you can coast most of the trip without buying your own drinks.

I gotta be honest, my last Vegas trip with Bill was AWESOME, but I spent way to much money and partied WAY to hard. I am really going to be on guard for 2 reasons, one I am representing work and I don't want t be the bad apple, no matter how much I ate my job, and 2 I want to have plenty of cash left over for my vacation which starts immediately following Vegas.

After Vegas, I fly straight to San Diego for Comic -Con. I even got work to pay for my ticket to San Diego instead of me flying to back to Phoenix. I'll catch a ride home with Jason and Autumn so that will work out nicely. Comic Con is really gonna be HUGE this year and my inner nerd... well and my outer one can't wait. I defiantly will give you the full rundown on my return.

I will really try to get another poem up in the next few days, and count on a post or 2 before my week long departure.

Oh and a small bit of TV news.. If you get the G4 network which covers video games and pop culture stuff, they are running an excellent preview of Comic Con. Well not so much as excellent but pretty insightful. Man There are a bunch of nerds going to this con... oh wait.. I'm one of them.

Ahh well... let your flag fly free.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

A Thousand Painful Stings

Hey all.

I wrote this poem drawing my inspiration from all those break up type moments you have in life. Though I am not the expert in such matters, I wanted to try to put some different levels into this poem, something i don't always like to do. Poetry should be subjective to the reader and they can draw what they will. I hope I conveyed some different undertones, I felt like I rambled a little on a verse or two, I didn't want it to get away from me. I wanted a good ending line, and my first shake at it wasn't what I liked.

I've said in the past that I like poems to be done in one sitting, two at the outside, more than that and I think you lose your original thought process on the poem and that whatever you were subjected too in between sittings can change your view. I want the poem to encapsulate what that moment in time was about. I don't know that any of my poems are any good, but I like writing them and its very liberating. Anyway, hope you enjoy.


A Thousand Painful Stings


It's happened once again,

Walked straight out the door.

Packed up all her bags,

I'm left here wanting more.


Called me vile names,

Said many hurtful things,

Though some did I deserve,

Like a thousand painful stings.


We argued so much more,

Not as happy as we use to be.

If only she'd come back,

I even miss the misery.


I made a few mistakes,

Should have tried so much more,

She always knew the truth.

A hard way to even the score.


I would trade most anything,

Just for one chance.

Anything she asked,

To rekindle lost romance.


I'll wait here by myself,

For as long as need be,

Hoping that the door will open,

And end this lonely agony.


I promise here to you,

That I can really change,

It's not like it was before,

Who I was is out of range.


No more broken promises,

And no more empty lies.

We can light the ash of passion.

Like a phoenix reborn to rise.


This isn't the first time,

But it feels like it's the last,

Waiting in the dark,

The end just came to fast.


End of Line.
Gerrad!

Order of the Phoenix Review

Hey all!

Before I get to the Order of the Phoenix review, I just read that the four day pass for the San Diego Comic Con that I am hitting up this month is already... SOLD THE FUCK OUT!!! Comic Con has NEVER sold out in the close to 15 years that I have been attending and I am genuinely shocked at this happening. Not that people want to attend of course, its the biggest comic / pop-culture / genre movie in the country, but that so many people pre-registered! I have only pre-registered one or two times in the past and certainly not in this millennium, so the sheer fluke that Jason and myself thought to pre-register this year was certainly anything but superflurrious!! I am super excited to see all the cool swag and events going on, this truly will be the biggest San Diego Con of all time, surpassing the early 90's speculator boom that almost crushed comics as we know it.

There are still 1 day and 3 day (non Saturday) passes available, so its not a total loss to anyone still looking to attend, but a helluva lot of people are gonna get stuck buying 3 day and then a 1 day pass to hit everything when they try to buy at the door. I also know that Saturday will be a very GOOD day to cut short. It will be all elbows and assholes end to end in there. Gonna have to really hit James Jean on Friday.

Anyway, onto my review for the Order of the Phoenix. I should point out that this was my least favorite book of all 6 so far, and the one that I thought would make the best movie. There are a lot of scenes, that in the book really flesh out and develop characters, really don't advance the bulk of the plot. This movie really capitalizes on that and keeps the films pace fast enough to hit all the key points, but allows the moments from the book that you like to really flow out. My only minor complaint would be wishing that the had more scenes with Gary Oldman. The Siruis / Harry relationship isn't as polished as would have liked. Or maybe I just wish Gary Oldman had more screen time, one of my favorite actors as my favorite character in the series couldn't hurt. For me, the pacing was the one area that I though The Goblet of Fire got hurt the most one. As my second favorite book, I thought Goblet was the poorest of the films, moving to quickly and not finding the right moments or sub-plots to slow down on. Don't get me wrong, I liked the movie a lot, just wasn't the best one.

Anyway, back to Order of the Phoenix. Casting in the Potter movies is always top notch, Alan Rickman, Ralph Finnes, Helena Bonham Carter, Michael Gambon, Emma Thompson, the list goes on, each actor really brings to life the character they are playing. Alan Rickman especially makes these movies for me. He has that ability to make even the worst of people so generally entertaining... see his work in Die Hard for example. The three leads continue to show their range and I really hope that they continue to find work after the series concludes in 2010. I would also say that expansion on the older Weasly Twins was a welcome bit of comedy in what is probably the darkest Potter yet.

Special Effects are phenomenal as always, and I don't want to drop any spoilers, but the final fight scene is awesome!

I belive this movie has trumped Live Free or Die Hard as the best movie of the summer, and with little competition to comes against it I think that you can count on this being he best. Hell.. its already on its way to breaking box office records with a 40 plus million Wednesday haul.

I'll try to post another summer movie update when I catch The Simpsons, Captivity, Evan Almighty, and the Transformers when I catch them, along with the Bourne Ultimatum which looks t be the best of the lot remaining.

Looking for a topic for my next poem and hope to post soon. Thanks!

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Everyday a Little More

Hey all!

I'm posting this from work, while I wait for specialist cleaners to get done with our chimney stacks. I have completed everything I both need to do and have the slightest desire to do, so I thought it was a great oppertunity for a post. Hell, I've already missed last call.


Here's a poem that basically comes out of my self reflection that I posted about in the last update. Hope you like.



Everyday a little more,

Desires rise to change the score.

But words die cold on the tongue,

A shameful silence since begun.


No volume breaks from my lips,

With burning intention at finger tips.

A proclamtion for all to hear,

Failed statement made to dissappear.


If only pen could be what voice cannot.

To hearken loud what heart's begot.

Lead or type, ink or brush,

Scripted words so full and lush.


A parchment judges not what's meant,

Nor suspicion raise at what verse intent.

It cannot hurt with words or tone,

It's contents you dictate alone.


To give those words life with voice,

To expose your own deep rejoice,

Can be such a thing of fear and dread,

For what if the answer is best left unsaid?


It's easy so to write these thought,

Harder now when eye to eye are brought.

Courage dim and self esteem defeat,

When face to face again we meet.


But change must happen, either ill or good.

To conquer my fears like a man should.

For to stay the same within in my heart,

Will tear the walls of this soul apart.



End of Line.
Gerrad!