Blog Summary

A blog for poetry, prose, and pop culture.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Viewing Habits

Things have been kind of crazy a work lately, stemming from my new schedule of working the overnight shifts. What that means is that I work from like 10 pm to usually 8 or 9 am, then I usually go home and crash, with just enough time to eat, shower and such before I repeat the process.
Not that I really mind the schedule, its just hard to have anything else while your doing that. I also agreed to sit for my Mom's dog this weekend, so that adds on too. I don't mind really.
Anyway just a quick post about TV today. I really REALLY have to get a TIVO or DVR system in my house, I can't remember a time when there were so many good programs on at once. TV has usually been dominated in the past by one or 2 shows, now it seems that every network has a couple.
My biggest TV obsessions are HBO's Deadwood, a great Western series, SCI-FI's Battlestar Galatica, which I just discovered on DVD, and My Name is Earl on NBC.
I also will admit to really liking Gilmore Girls on the WB. Dammit, its just a smart, well written show infused with pop culture references. I also figure I would watch all of the Office, which has been funny, but inconsistant in my opinion. I also figure that if I DVR, I can finally committ to those series that you absolutely have to watch every week, like Lost. That's one of those situations where I know I will like the show, but I think I am too far behind to catch up.

That's not even counting the guilty pleasure crap, like any Surreality show on VH1. You know Flavor of Love was a train wreck that you just HAD to watch. I also have mentioned my love for many of Cartoon Networks Adult Swim programs, like Harvey Birdman and Robot Chicken.

With the new season of Deadwood fast approaching and the rumored Battlestar Galatica prequel spin-off.. I gotta get on the ball. Thats not even considering the long in the works Star Wars televison series. Man, I want that to be more Episode 3 and less Episode 1.....

Also I didn't even count some of the juggernaur shows that I am really not into, like American Idol, CSI, and Survivor. Its just a good time to be a televiosn watcher. Lets hope the the choices wrote at home will stem to better movies from Hollywood. Its been a really long time since there was a movie you just HAD to see that swept the country by storm. The last one was probably King Kong, but that fell short of most expectations. Lets hope for better summer releases. In fact, that will be the topic of the next post. I'll pick 10 movies that should be worth seeing based on whats coming out.

End of Line.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Back in the Habit

Finally got my PC back up and running.
See less than a year ago I had a friend of mine who is a PC whiz assemble me a new PC, using basically parts from my older model and parts that I purchased ala cart. Unfortunately, every 2 or 3 weeks my PC just likes to shit out. I can't exactly explain how I fixed it this time, all I know is that I moved some of the jumper cables or whatever around until it recognized the drives.
I am hoping to purchase a new harddrive and cables soon to get this matter taken care of, though I will probably have to wait until my refund from the IRS arrives. Eh, then again I do want to buy one of those video IPODS, as I am probably one of the last people on Earth to NOT won some kind of portable MP3 player.

-Movie Review-

Caught Lucky Number Sleven, starring Josh Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Lucy Liu, Morgan Freeman, and Sir Ben Kingsly.
I wouldn't call it a bad movie, just a bit forced. It tries to be in the same vein as Pulp Fiction, but comes across as more 2 Days in the Valley. A strong cast that really doesn't make the pop culture ridden idiosyrncratic dialog come alive. It just feels kind of shoe-horned into place. That being said I didn't hate the movie, just believe that I have seen the similar thing executed better.
The basic plot is that Josh Hartnett plays Sleven, a man mistaken for another man who must perform 2 different jobs for 2 rival mob bosses to pay off a debt that isn't his. Lucy Liu plays the love interest, who just seems to be coasting through this performance.
Its an average movie that is probably best saved for a rental.

When rating movies I have only 3 judgments, it was great, it was average, it was bad. This movie was average.
That's enough for tonight, I'll post more tomorrow.

End of Line.


Monday, April 17, 2006

"-Insert Brokeback Joke Here-"

All right, I promised another story... Pull up a chair kids, and always lock the door, though I doubt that would have helped me in this predicament.

So like I said, I manage a fast food restaurant, a McDonalds, though I am unsure if I actually mentioned that. Now before we get onto this story, let me clarify one thing about working at McDonalds when your almost 30, I get some serious benefits, and make pretty good money. I've got a great car and a great first home. I don't want for anything and I get to work with some really cool people. Now proceed with your flaming of this topic.

SO anyway, last year I was managing a McDonalds located inside a Wal-Mart, and the thing that really sucks about this is that we didn't have our own restrooms, we have to use the ones in the main Wal-Mart area. It was in the late afternoon period, during a lull in business, so I decide to hit the head while the hittings good so to speak.

I enter the restroom and head for the urinal. I put my right arm up against the wall (in the standard God I gotta take such a piss I should brace myself pose) and aimed with my left. I'm doing my business when I suddenly feel some guys hand caressing my stomach slowly towards my junk!!!

My first reaction is NOT to turn around as my dick is hanging out and this guy trying to cop a feel here. So I kind of half turn around and have cover myself with my hand yelling," What the Hell are you doing?!"

Now I will swear to my dying day that this guy was either the greatest actor I have ever seen, or he was genuinely surprised to see that it was me. All the color drained out of his face and he stammered, "I..I..I thought you were someone else." He then bolted out the door.

This is the part of the story were I should have probably beat his ass or something, but I swear to God my first thought was, " what's this guy doing dating someone who looks like me?!" I mean I'm no picture of beauty (I'm a big boy) but he wasn't bad looking you know? The worst part is, I wasn't weirded out at first, just thought that it was strange.. But the more and more I thought about it, the creepier the whole thing became. I mean some guy was caressing me. ME?!?! Damn that creeps me out. As work passed that day I was really out of it. Looking back on it now, I can find the humor in this.. But still..

Needless to say, I don't use urinals anymore, I always lock the stalls. I'm so jealous of girls, I mean this happens to two girls and its a hot lesbo story (though why one would be using an urinals is weird) Plus they always get to use the stall...

Still.. one of the few times someone has come onto me without a dollar bill in my hand and its a guy. What kind of luck is THAT?!

End of Line.


Sunday, April 16, 2006

Papa's Got A Brand New.....Trashbag

I have come to the conclusion that no matter what I want to do, there will be things preventing me from doing them. So rather than make up excuses for why I am NOT posting more regularly, lets get down to the business of posting.
Work has been a serious issue this week, taking up such a predominate amount of time away from everything else, that I thought I would share a funny work story or two.
See I manage a restaurant, and a fast food one at that, so needless to say I can take a lot of shit from people for either messing up an order, or just being the easiest target of aggression around. But there have been several times when I have taken shit literally from customers.
After closing I usually do a visual inspection of the store for security and cleanliness purposes, and part of that inspection leads me to the bathroom. One such night, I open the men's room stall door to discover a pair of jeans and underwear, full of shit.
Now I didn't for a second question why those pants where there, I KNOW why they are their, they are full of shit. The question I wanted answers was how that customer got out of the store... See due to the stores layout he would HAVE to have left out of one of the two main entrances on either side of the restaurant, in plain visual sight of the counter, the crew and the customers. But we didn't see anything.
Did this guy carry extra pants with him.... WHO CARRIES EXTRA PANTS WITH THEM?!?!
So anyway, I send in a good friend of mine to clean it up, who promptly returns from the bathroom to state that there is no way in HELL he is cleaning that. SO I tell him to send one of the other two people to clean it. That person comes back and says NO WAY. Now by this time the third person has already heard about it and won't clean it, so that leaves me.

Now when this happened 8 or 0 years ago, most restaurants were not required to use gloves in food preparation, as opposed to now where it is required in many states. Needless to say, we had no gloves. So I kind of have lift and sweep the pants into a trashbag, cursing so bad that Quentin Tarentino would blush. Upon leaving the bathroom, my three ever so brave crew were standing by the door. AT that point I did the only thing that someone in my position of authority should do. I abused it.

Whirling the bag above my head like a scene out of Crocodile Dundee I proceeded to chase the crew around the store and swing the shit pants filled bag at them.

Those were some fairly quick guys when motivated.

My next post will be about the time I got felt up in a Wal-Mart bathroom... I still refuse to use urinals to this day.

End of Line.


Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Generation Gap

I was talking to some co-workers the other day about the hiring situation at the restaurant I manage, and about the fact that its basically impossible to get kids today to be serious about working. Now I am the first to admit that there are many exceptions to that rule, but I am talking by and large here.
Looking at the generations, we've gone from Baby Boomers, to Flower Children, The Me Generation, Yuppies (SP?) to my Generation X. Generation Y has come and gone and we are on the precipice of a new era... The Entitlement Generation. When I heard this name mentioned it just totally clicked with me and the problems facing today's youth. They Think that they deserve everything, without putting in the work for it.
What they don't relies is the work that there parents and grandparents out in to get them to that comfortable situation to begin with.
Most of today's middle and upper class don't have to work, don't have to put the effort into proving themselves capable of responsibility because we have trained kids to think that they should just get everything. I mean look at the saturation of product in the teen consumer market. Hell, just watch one episode of MTV's My Super Sweet Sixteen and you'll want to strangle the pretentious lot of them.

I think back to when I was 15 and starting my first job and how my father made me earn the things I wanted. If I wanted to get a car, I needed to get a job to pay for maintaining it and the upkeep of that. I wanted new $100.00 shoes, guess what .. I got to buy them.
Now that's not to say that my parents never helped me out. I owe them a lot and they helped me buy my first car and helped me many times since then. But I always knew that it was my responsibility.
I just look at today's teenage youth and wonder what will happen when they get to be in their late 20's and what will happen. Let's hope that the entitlement they feel also entitles them to a better future.

End of Line.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Kingdom Hearts II

Not to much to report as I've been locked away at work, with no sign of relenting. I have some serious hours this week and next, thus limiting my at home to the estimations, i.e. sleep.

Returning to my only column-like feature

Parts of a Hole:
Kingdom Hearts II
I love playing video games, but don't play them as much as I did in my early 20's, not so much as growing up I'd say as growing more selective. I love a good RPG or action'adventure game, but I'm pretty selective in my first person shooters. Most are pretty derivative and seem like a waste of good money. When I need a good FPS I always fall back on Halo or Halo II.
Kingdom Hearts II stems from the love of the first game, and how its both fun and highly addictive. As I played the first game I was fairly certain that I wouldn't like it, I mean Disney and a RPG?! The last think I thought I would enjoy is listening to a game with voice over acting by the voice of Goofy. But, I was proven wrong. Square just makes good games and this is no exception.. Hell they even tie in what I think are two of Disney's best franchises. The Pirates of The Caribbean and Tron. Pirates was Disney's best movie in years and I hope the sequel(s) hold up. My true love though, is Tron. Easily in my top 10 favorite movies of all time, I love the visuals and the kind of fun campiness associated with it. Hell, SFX in commercials are better than in Tron, but I loved what it started. There would be no computer graphics if it wasn't for Tron laying the groundwork. I love me some Tron.
Anyway, back to the game... Its got great voice overwork by many of the lead actors in the movies, including James Woods and Orlando Bloom. Hell they even got Bruce Boxloitner and David Warner from Tron back. The graphics content has improved over the last game with a wonderful spectrum of color. They have also done some improvements with the camera angles blocking views.It's full of fun mini games and a compelling storyline, I give it a great recommendation. My only real complaint is that its a bit on the easy side. While the first one had some really challenging fights, the sequel is pretty much just a button masher. I rarely use magic or heals as direct damage seems good enough. Still, a lot of fun, especially considering that the play time is in the range of 40 hours or so.
Anyway, that's enough of that, hope you enjoyed the review.

End of Line.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Clay Feet

You know, Every couple of months I end up in one of those conversations that result in me being asked the question," When are you going to start seeing someone?"
Why is everyone so preoccupied with dating and relationships? I'm not sure how many people know this, but were at like a 50% divorce rate here.. marriage is outmoded, like the VCR and portable CD players. There are people out there still using these things, yet better things are already there.
Lets face facts, people generally are pretty selfish. We are raised in a society of instant gratification and quick fix thinking. Marriage is a long haul, full of good and bad times. Giving up and divorcing kinda takes the whole "Till Death Do Us Part" thing and renders it moot.
One of the things I really hate is breaking promises, so why put yourself in a situation where you would? Hell, you don't even have to break that promise, your spouse could beat you to it.

Fortunately, I came up with a solution today. I'm going to marry a lesbian. See, all the things that can go wrong in a relationship will be worked out. First, I have nothing she wants, so she can't lose. Second, she has everything I want but can't have. It will be just like a marriage. Hell we will probably have the same amount of sex as most married couples...which we all know is nonexistant.
See lesbians are the perfect women, all the trapping of men, with none of that fleshy baggage hanging underneath. It would be like hanging out with one of the guys!
But Hey ladies, don't think I have forgotten you!! You to can get in on the action with a homosexual husband. He has all the trappings of a women, but you can take him to meet your parents. (Guys, with any luck your lesbian has been disowned by her family, your in the clear!!)

Now, my only problem is fooling one into buying this plan....

End of Line.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Parts of a Hole.

Yeah, I've pretty much screwed over posting this everyday. Why is the crap that you don't want to do seem to take prominece against the things you'd rather do. Screw that.

First off, I've updated my links to a good friend of mine, and quite the talented artist, click on them to the ----------------------------->

He's pretty good, though it pains to feed him any accolades at all since in 7th grade he fleeced me out of $5.00 American in 1990 money, quite the bonaza at the time I assure you. for a 11 X 17 pencil drawing of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Damn, back then those were actually cool (despite the fact that I hear they are actually greenlighting a 4th movie for them)

One is his blog, featuring much more current drawings and the other is his website, showcasing some of his work form the San Francisco Art Acadamy. The smug bastard.

Check it out.

Now hopefully a running feature of the blog, today's featurette:
Parts of a Hole-

Basically a commentary on what distracts me throughout my everyday life, the parts that fill my free time.

Maybe the best show on TV, even if its premium channel pay TV. Over the last few years I have really begun to like Westerns, which I always loathed as a kid, and this show has everything I look for in a TV show.
Cursing, nudity, making fun of the handicapped, and violence toward women. (and hey if you though that was funny, well my friend we will get along fine)
Unfortunately my brother has my DVDs and I will probably never see them again. He has had my copy of Kill Bill Like a year.
Anyway if you haven't seen it, check it out. If you don't like it I fully encourage you to leave a comment box here full, calling me a cocksucker.