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A blog for poetry, prose, and pop culture.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

True Story Time!

Hey all!

First off thanks for the words of support to that next to last column. I appreciate it it very much.

I realized that I have told a lot of true stories about things happening to me, but never one I myself did. Now I am going to change that. What follows is what I would categorize as the worst thing I have ever done. This is pretty bad and I hope that you realize it was stupid and immature... but its still kinda funny...

Several years back, I would say around 1997 or 1998, I attended the Vans Warp Tour. Here in Arizona, Warp Tour being an outdoor concert, and it being July, well it was fucking hot. A good size group of us were hanging around as the performers were coming to a close, there were probably a good 3 or 4 bands left, but the bulk of the "house" bands had completed their sets. We were drinking some water and were pretty dehydrated, when one of my friends, Luke (whose own adventures with us will be a true story column in the future) said that one of us should piss in the empty bottle and throw it into the crowd. Now there is no way (NO WAY) that any of us should have said yes to this, the kicker was myself and my pal Bill said okay. I took the bottle, but being so dehydrated, couldn't fill it up.

Bill, picking up my slack, managed to squirt the other half out, into the same bottle as me and I carried the warm plastic bottle of piss in my pocket until the final act came on stage, Bad Religion, came on.

What proceeded next I will never forget. Perfectly screwing the bottle cap on about halfway we arced it high into the crowd. At the apex of the throw, the cap flies off as the precursor to a golden spray arching from the bottle. It windmills all the way down spraying until finally hitting a girl in the head. Seeing her do the "I just got dunked head slouch" and arm raise was at the time hysterical. We unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, lost her in the crowd and did not see the actual realization that she had just received a group golden shower.

Part of me after all these years feel I should be more ashamed than I actually am. I mean their is not a chance I would think to do that again, but when your like 20 or so many stupid things seem like good ideas.

There you have it. The worst thing I have ever done. Think about the worst thing YOU have ever done. Could you admit it publicly? I did what I did and there is no changing that.

End of Line.

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