Blog Summary

A blog for poetry, prose, and pop culture.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Entertainment....Monthly?

Hey all, sorry about the consistent lateness in posting, but its been frustrating not being able to figure out exactly what's wrong with my PC. It just seems like one difficulty after another. I'm posting again from my roommates MAC. Anyway, lets get down to business.

Caught X-Men: The Last Stand and I have to say that I enjoyed the film. I don't think that it beats either of the first two installments, but I think it did all right considering the circumstances. While I enjoyed the focus on action, I feel they went for a quantity of characters over a quality of characters. I believe the key to developing X-Men movies is to introduce new characters to the audience while not losing focus on existing ones. Nightcrawler, Col. Stryker, and Deathstrike in X2 were developed nicely, while teasing characters like Kitty Pryde and Colossus for future use. I feel that they only really explored the Beast in X3, short changing Juggernaut and Angel. I also tend to agree with many critics calling out director Brett Ratner, as not really having a strong visual presence, but sustaining a big movie image with out giving it the substance. I do recommend that you catch the flick as Hugh Jackman and especially Sir Ian McKellen give stellar performances. McKellen's got some serious box office chops here. He is in way to many popular movies giving credibility to everything.

I also got Season 2 of the HBO series Deadwood, by far my favorite show on TV. I'm a sucker for a good western and as this second only all time to The Magnificent Seven. (I'm a sucker for a Steve McQueen flick... But that's a topic for later) Deadwood has some of the best writing in any series I have watched and, as I have raved before, chock full of all the things a growing boy should want: Sex, violence, and profanity, wrapped in an autuer shell of condensed story about real life in the old west. Please check it out.

I also just finished washing that toilet bowl of a broadcast the 2006 MTV movie awards. What's a steaming turd of self-indulgent poorly written fluff. I believe that I officially passed the barometer for being allowed to watch MTV 5 months early, as it is my belief that after 30, MTV no longer communicates to you on the level it should. Its wear you start to realize that music use to be better, and that most of those emo-ridden sea-hags on that show really just annoy you. When you think it sucks getting old, just watch half and hour of My Super Sweet Sixteen or Laguna Beach and you will realize that the days before TRl were better times.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Memoriam

Just a few lines tonight as my regular PC is still down. Not sure when my brother will have all the bugs out.

I just read the news of Alex Toth passing, at his drawing board no less. It's truly a great loss to the artistic community as Alex Toth was such an influential artist to many in today's medium. Toth worked for Hanna-Barbara creating such famous characters like Birdman and Space Ghost, which live on in today's Adult Swim programming. I'm no artist by any means but Toth's strong visual style and clean dramatic lines always impressed me. His influence can be seen in the likes of such artists as Mike Mignola, creator of Hellboy, and Alex Ross, painter.

To know that at the age of 78 he was still creating is an inspiration to me. He will be missed.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

MAC ATTACK

Hey all.

Thought I would post a quick update here from my friends MAC as my brother seems to be taking his sweet time repairing my PC. He hasn't figured out what seems to be the problem, but I am sure he will find it soon... I hope.

I caught The Da Vinci code over the weekend and I thought it was a pretty decent movie. I hav read that alot of critics are lambasting it in thier reviews but I feel that it is kind of harsh. In reading the book its not really an action story, its a puzzle thriller, and adating that into a movie is difficult as portions of the book are simply running from one place to another. Making that exciting isn't an easy task. I also feel the book lent itself to faster pacing by having such short chapters, giving the reader a sense that they have read more and the book a quicker tone. In the movies you tend to try the same elemnts with camera cuts and such, but it doesn't translate the same. To many cuts makes it way to MTV, and not enough makes it to VH1.

That being said, I enjoyed the film, especially Ian McKellen, who always sems to give strong performances and Jean Reno, a favorite since The Professional. Tom Hanks does a passable job, it's not his best work but he rarely comes across the screem poorly (despite recent projects like The Ladykillers and The Terminal)

Go check it out.

End of Line!
Gerrad!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Missing in Action....

Hey all.. Just a quick update to let everyone know that the site will be down for a bit. Finally getting the PC overhauled and it may be a little while before I post, unless I can use my roommates (*gasp*) MAC to update.

Hey, I will relate a funny story before I go. A friend of mine and myself went to our usual watering hole for a couple of brews this Friday night. I hit the men's room after a few beers and hit up the urinal. There was another guy next to me there, and unfortunately there was another guy at the urinal. Before I go any farther let me point out that my usual safety zone in the stall was occupied and I really had to go. Anyone who read my earlier incident can relate to my reluctance to use urinals at all anymore.

Anyway, I digress. As I am doing my business the guy next to me starts talking to me. "Dude, check out my dick. It's so small. Seriously, look at this thing man. My penis is fucking small." What do you tell a guy at that point. All I could say is.."Umm that sucks man." I certainly didn't want to look at it.


At this point I am laughing my ass off as this guy is so shit-faced. How does this stuff keep happening to me?! Can anyone have more strange things happen to them in a bathroom?

Hope you all liked that one. See you in a while.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Catching the Fever

Being from Phoenix, I don't think that there are to many people not caught in the grips of Suns playoff basketball. Sports have always been an off and on again thing with me. In my youth I truly enjoyed football and watching the games, as I entered my teens, I fell out of being interested in sports in general. Sometime after I hit 25, the old flame came up and caught me, where I found my self watching more sports and generally being more knowlegable about them. The two biggest sports for me are football and basketball.

With football, I will now watch like any game on TV, sure I have my favorite teams, but I think there is some kind of weird genetic coding that will make man watch any given game on TV. With basketball I am more selective, and found that I am only interested in my teams (The Suns and The Cavs-as I originally hail from the Cleveland area)

Suns basketball is just plain exciting to watch, as despite their thrashing at the hands of the Clippers last night, I have high hopes that the leagues reigning MVP will shut them down through the series. I am not so blind to think that they can win the championship, as the Spurs and particularly Detroit seem just unbeatable. I really hope to see the Suns again next season with the return of Amare Stoudamire giving them the one thing they truly lack, interior offensive presence. If the Suns shoot bad, they could really use that key interior game to keep the perimeter open.

I'm not writing them off yet, I do feel that if they can get past the Clippers and in the conference finals, we could give either Dallas of the Spurs a good series. The longer the Dallas and Spurs series go, the better it bodes for the Suns, as the run and gun offense that they use could really wear on the other team.

Anyway you look at it though, its a good time to be an Arizona sports fan, with the Suns on fire and the Cardinals shaping up with solid drafting and talent on the roster for once, I for one can look forward to this year in sports.

Now, if any of my friends were even remotely interested in this scene I could talk to someone about it.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Back in the Saddle

Original title eh?

Anyway, other than the one person who got that joke, lets get on with the business at hand.

Finally got the PC back up after a couple of days being down.. I really have to invest some money to fix this.

First off I promised like a week ago to talk about the big movies I am looking forward to this summer.

#1- Pirates of the Caribbean 2; Dead Man's Chest.
The first flick was great, Johnny Depp owned that performance and that movie and they took what was a dead genre (Cuttthroat Island anyone?) the pirate movie and made it great. Plus the fact that its based on a theme park ride. Imagine the opposite of that.. Oh yeah, Haunted Mansion. THAT MOVIE SHOULD HAVE BEEN CRAP!!!

The sequel should have everything we loved about the first one. The only complaint I have heard is that people have begun to wonder if that Keith Richards act that Depp is doing will get stale. I don't think so, its been a long wait for this movie and it should pay off big time. Definitely a top 5 summer finish.

#2- The Da Vinci Code- The biggest book phenomenon of all time hits the multiples in just over a week, and it looks solid. Tom Hanks is Hollywoods most loved actor on the whole and despite his last two films commercial failure, his Teflon image should rebound here. Its got a solid creative team in Ron Howard who rarely directs clunkers, with a smart script and a solid supporting cast.

The only potential downfall is that EVERYONE has read the book and that could impact repeat viewings. Then again, everyone knew what happened in Titanic and look at what that did.

#3 X-Men: The Last Stand- The first 2 films were solid comic book movies with plenty of plot and story driving them. I personally am looking forward to new director Brett Ratner upping the action quota here. I am not saying that it doesn't need to be smart. But like Elvis said, "A little less conversation, a little more action..."

The downside is the loss of Bryan Singer. He made 2 almost universally accepted movies keeping close to the fans hearts, will Ratner see things the same way...

#4- Cars. Pixar has yet to make a bad movie. Think about that. No other company has turned out such solid dependable and well made movies in the last 10 years. CGI animated movies are pretty much unbeatable at the box office (The Wild not withstanding) The film has solid voice casting and a solid history. I will sincerely be surprised if it is not #2 or 3 at the box office this summer.

Downside- There have been some so-so prescreening reviews of the films rough cut.. But remember, Finding Nemo had the same things said about it.

#5- Superman Returns- In what most critics and box office pundits are calling the summers surefire guarantee film, Superman returns to the big screen. The word is that proven comic book director Bryan Singer's movie will take place between the events of Superman 2 and 3, staying close to original director Joel Silver's take on the first 2 movies. Utilizing archival footage of Marlon Brando as Jor-El, Superman's father, and pieces of John Williams original theme, Singer hopes to hearken back to what made the original Superman movies in the 70's so great. Also casting Kevin Spacey as Lex Luther was a solid move.

Downside- Can unknown actor Brandon Routh hold up as Superman? With the huge expectations on this film, will he be able to handle the pressure. Also, will people support Singer's take on Lois Lane? Superman, having left Earth on a five year exile after the events of Superman 2, returns to find Lois with another man, she has moved on and had a child. Superman... As My babies Daddy?
Keep in mind, Christoper Reeve was also an unknown when he was cast, and that paid off, lets hope this move will too.

Hope you all enjoyed that. I hope to have another update soon on some of the goings on around here. Including Suns playoff fever!!

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Rallying Cry

I know I promised to do some movie picks on this post, but this is more important.


Yesterday's immigration reform rally really makes a big impact in running a restaurant, especially here in Arizona. With such a large Hispanic community and Hispanics being such a big portion of my job market, it makes it difficult to do my job. I don't claim to be the most informed person on any situation, but this I know... cracking down on illegal immigrants won't work. I'm not saying that you don't try, but what was wrong with the old situation? Grinding the economy like this really impacts the businesses that depend on these workers. We need to make some kind of choice that will benefit everyone, because our current path is not leading to an equitable solution. I want to tell you a little story, but let me give you a little background first.

I know my policy is that anyone who wants a job, can get a job. McDonalds, while not being on the glorious side of the job spectrum, has been good to me, affording me a great deal. I get more paid vacation a year than my Father did at his prime working for Goodyear, I will be eligible for a company car in about a year, paid leave every ten years (2 months worth) (that's in addition to the 6 weeks a year I currently get) 401k, medical, dental, life, health insurance, all working at a job most people don't want to do. Hey, every two years is a paid trip to National Convention, which was a paid trip to Vegas in 2005! Its not hard, it can be a little time consuming some weeks, but I like working with such a wide spectrum of people. Giving people their first job is a great feeling, one of my favorite parts abut working there. Especially for those few people who later come and tell me thanks for treating like an adult, not like a child. For trusting them and giving them the opportunity to move on. Hell, I have met some really great friends working their too. The best part about this is that anyone can do this if they try.

Now this is what really bothers me, we were forced to close our lobby a little early on the first for the rally, which I was okay with, our Hispanic crew asked for the day off to go and support the rally and what it means to their people. I am really okay with that, this is a big issue for them. Despite the fact that our employees have to have valid identification to work for us, they believe that this cause is important. I am sure some of them were doing it just for a day off, but that's beside the point. I was leaving work yesterday, after a pretty long day (hey this is one of those times) when I saw a customer come up to go inside. I informed that I was sorry and that the lobby was closed early today. He asked me why? I informed him that due to the rally we didn't have the full staffing requirements needed to be fully operational and that we had gone drive thru only after 5pm. HE proceeded to rant and rave about the fact that we only hire wetbacks and that we should "get off our fucking asses" and do our job. I informed him that we DO check all of our workers legitamancy and that we were doing our best. He looked at me and said you should hire some real Americans. I looked him in the eye and said, that's what they are trying to be, its racists like you who are keeping them from being one. And I turned and left.

I fucking hate racists.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Friday, April 28, 2006

Viewing Habits

*Sigh*
Things have been kind of crazy a work lately, stemming from my new schedule of working the overnight shifts. What that means is that I work from like 10 pm to usually 8 or 9 am, then I usually go home and crash, with just enough time to eat, shower and such before I repeat the process.
Not that I really mind the schedule, its just hard to have anything else while your doing that. I also agreed to sit for my Mom's dog this weekend, so that adds on too. I don't mind really.
Anyway just a quick post about TV today. I really REALLY have to get a TIVO or DVR system in my house, I can't remember a time when there were so many good programs on at once. TV has usually been dominated in the past by one or 2 shows, now it seems that every network has a couple.
My biggest TV obsessions are HBO's Deadwood, a great Western series, SCI-FI's Battlestar Galatica, which I just discovered on DVD, and My Name is Earl on NBC.
I also will admit to really liking Gilmore Girls on the WB. Dammit, its just a smart, well written show infused with pop culture references. I also figure I would watch all of the Office, which has been funny, but inconsistant in my opinion. I also figure that if I DVR, I can finally committ to those series that you absolutely have to watch every week, like Lost. That's one of those situations where I know I will like the show, but I think I am too far behind to catch up.

That's not even counting the guilty pleasure crap, like any Surreality show on VH1. You know Flavor of Love was a train wreck that you just HAD to watch. I also have mentioned my love for many of Cartoon Networks Adult Swim programs, like Harvey Birdman and Robot Chicken.

With the new season of Deadwood fast approaching and the rumored Battlestar Galatica prequel spin-off.. I gotta get on the ball. Thats not even considering the long in the works Star Wars televison series. Man, I want that to be more Episode 3 and less Episode 1.....


Also I didn't even count some of the juggernaur shows that I am really not into, like American Idol, CSI, and Survivor. Its just a good time to be a televiosn watcher. Lets hope the the choices wrote at home will stem to better movies from Hollywood. Its been a really long time since there was a movie you just HAD to see that swept the country by storm. The last one was probably King Kong, but that fell short of most expectations. Lets hope for better summer releases. In fact, that will be the topic of the next post. I'll pick 10 movies that should be worth seeing based on whats coming out.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Back in the Habit

Finally got my PC back up and running.
See less than a year ago I had a friend of mine who is a PC whiz assemble me a new PC, using basically parts from my older model and parts that I purchased ala cart. Unfortunately, every 2 or 3 weeks my PC just likes to shit out. I can't exactly explain how I fixed it this time, all I know is that I moved some of the jumper cables or whatever around until it recognized the drives.
I am hoping to purchase a new harddrive and cables soon to get this matter taken care of, though I will probably have to wait until my refund from the IRS arrives. Eh, then again I do want to buy one of those video IPODS, as I am probably one of the last people on Earth to NOT won some kind of portable MP3 player.

-Movie Review-

Caught Lucky Number Sleven, starring Josh Hartnett, Bruce Willis, Lucy Liu, Morgan Freeman, and Sir Ben Kingsly.
I wouldn't call it a bad movie, just a bit forced. It tries to be in the same vein as Pulp Fiction, but comes across as more 2 Days in the Valley. A strong cast that really doesn't make the pop culture ridden idiosyrncratic dialog come alive. It just feels kind of shoe-horned into place. That being said I didn't hate the movie, just believe that I have seen the similar thing executed better.
The basic plot is that Josh Hartnett plays Sleven, a man mistaken for another man who must perform 2 different jobs for 2 rival mob bosses to pay off a debt that isn't his. Lucy Liu plays the love interest, who just seems to be coasting through this performance.
Its an average movie that is probably best saved for a rental.

When rating movies I have only 3 judgments, it was great, it was average, it was bad. This movie was average.
That's enough for tonight, I'll post more tomorrow.

End of Line.

Gerrad!

Monday, April 17, 2006

"-Insert Brokeback Joke Here-"

All right, I promised another story... Pull up a chair kids, and always lock the door, though I doubt that would have helped me in this predicament.

So like I said, I manage a fast food restaurant, a McDonalds, though I am unsure if I actually mentioned that. Now before we get onto this story, let me clarify one thing about working at McDonalds when your almost 30, I get some serious benefits, and make pretty good money. I've got a great car and a great first home. I don't want for anything and I get to work with some really cool people. Now proceed with your flaming of this topic.

SO anyway, last year I was managing a McDonalds located inside a Wal-Mart, and the thing that really sucks about this is that we didn't have our own restrooms, we have to use the ones in the main Wal-Mart area. It was in the late afternoon period, during a lull in business, so I decide to hit the head while the hittings good so to speak.

I enter the restroom and head for the urinal. I put my right arm up against the wall (in the standard God I gotta take such a piss I should brace myself pose) and aimed with my left. I'm doing my business when I suddenly feel some guys hand caressing my stomach slowly towards my junk!!!

My first reaction is NOT to turn around as my dick is hanging out and this guy trying to cop a feel here. So I kind of half turn around and have cover myself with my hand yelling," What the Hell are you doing?!"

Now I will swear to my dying day that this guy was either the greatest actor I have ever seen, or he was genuinely surprised to see that it was me. All the color drained out of his face and he stammered, "I..I..I thought you were someone else." He then bolted out the door.

This is the part of the story were I should have probably beat his ass or something, but I swear to God my first thought was, " what's this guy doing dating someone who looks like me?!" I mean I'm no picture of beauty (I'm a big boy) but he wasn't bad looking you know? The worst part is, I wasn't weirded out at first, just thought that it was strange.. But the more and more I thought about it, the creepier the whole thing became. I mean some guy was caressing me. ME?!?! Damn that creeps me out. As work passed that day I was really out of it. Looking back on it now, I can find the humor in this.. But still..

Needless to say, I don't use urinals anymore, I always lock the stalls. I'm so jealous of girls, I mean this happens to two girls and its a hot lesbo story (though why one would be using an urinals is weird) Plus they always get to use the stall...

Still.. one of the few times someone has come onto me without a dollar bill in my hand and its a guy. What kind of luck is THAT?!

End of Line.

Gerrad!

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Papa's Got A Brand New.....Trashbag

I have come to the conclusion that no matter what I want to do, there will be things preventing me from doing them. So rather than make up excuses for why I am NOT posting more regularly, lets get down to the business of posting.
Work has been a serious issue this week, taking up such a predominate amount of time away from everything else, that I thought I would share a funny work story or two.
See I manage a restaurant, and a fast food one at that, so needless to say I can take a lot of shit from people for either messing up an order, or just being the easiest target of aggression around. But there have been several times when I have taken shit literally from customers.
After closing I usually do a visual inspection of the store for security and cleanliness purposes, and part of that inspection leads me to the bathroom. One such night, I open the men's room stall door to discover a pair of jeans and underwear, full of shit.
Now I didn't for a second question why those pants where there, I KNOW why they are their, they are full of shit. The question I wanted answers was how that customer got out of the store... See due to the stores layout he would HAVE to have left out of one of the two main entrances on either side of the restaurant, in plain visual sight of the counter, the crew and the customers. But we didn't see anything.
Did this guy carry extra pants with him.... WHO CARRIES EXTRA PANTS WITH THEM?!?!
So anyway, I send in a good friend of mine to clean it up, who promptly returns from the bathroom to state that there is no way in HELL he is cleaning that. SO I tell him to send one of the other two people to clean it. That person comes back and says NO WAY. Now by this time the third person has already heard about it and won't clean it, so that leaves me.

Now when this happened 8 or 0 years ago, most restaurants were not required to use gloves in food preparation, as opposed to now where it is required in many states. Needless to say, we had no gloves. So I kind of have lift and sweep the pants into a trashbag, cursing so bad that Quentin Tarentino would blush. Upon leaving the bathroom, my three ever so brave crew were standing by the door. AT that point I did the only thing that someone in my position of authority should do. I abused it.

Whirling the bag above my head like a scene out of Crocodile Dundee I proceeded to chase the crew around the store and swing the shit pants filled bag at them.

Those were some fairly quick guys when motivated.

My next post will be about the time I got felt up in a Wal-Mart bathroom... I still refuse to use urinals to this day.

End of Line.

Gerrad!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Generation Gap

I was talking to some co-workers the other day about the hiring situation at the restaurant I manage, and about the fact that its basically impossible to get kids today to be serious about working. Now I am the first to admit that there are many exceptions to that rule, but I am talking by and large here.
Looking at the generations, we've gone from Baby Boomers, to Flower Children, The Me Generation, Yuppies (SP?) to my Generation X. Generation Y has come and gone and we are on the precipice of a new era... The Entitlement Generation. When I heard this name mentioned it just totally clicked with me and the problems facing today's youth. They Think that they deserve everything, without putting in the work for it.
What they don't relies is the work that there parents and grandparents out in to get them to that comfortable situation to begin with.
Most of today's middle and upper class don't have to work, don't have to put the effort into proving themselves capable of responsibility because we have trained kids to think that they should just get everything. I mean look at the saturation of product in the teen consumer market. Hell, just watch one episode of MTV's My Super Sweet Sixteen and you'll want to strangle the pretentious lot of them.

I think back to when I was 15 and starting my first job and how my father made me earn the things I wanted. If I wanted to get a car, I needed to get a job to pay for maintaining it and the upkeep of that. I wanted new $100.00 shoes, guess what .. I got to buy them.
Now that's not to say that my parents never helped me out. I owe them a lot and they helped me buy my first car and helped me many times since then. But I always knew that it was my responsibility.
I just look at today's teenage youth and wonder what will happen when they get to be in their late 20's and what will happen. Let's hope that the entitlement they feel also entitles them to a better future.


End of Line.
Gerrad!

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Kingdom Hearts II

Not to much to report as I've been locked away at work, with no sign of relenting. I have some serious hours this week and next, thus limiting my at home to the estimations, i.e. sleep.

Returning to my only column-like feature

Parts of a Hole:
Kingdom Hearts II
I love playing video games, but don't play them as much as I did in my early 20's, not so much as growing up I'd say as growing more selective. I love a good RPG or action'adventure game, but I'm pretty selective in my first person shooters. Most are pretty derivative and seem like a waste of good money. When I need a good FPS I always fall back on Halo or Halo II.
Kingdom Hearts II stems from the love of the first game, and how its both fun and highly addictive. As I played the first game I was fairly certain that I wouldn't like it, I mean Disney and a RPG?! The last think I thought I would enjoy is listening to a game with voice over acting by the voice of Goofy. But, I was proven wrong. Square just makes good games and this is no exception.. Hell they even tie in what I think are two of Disney's best franchises. The Pirates of The Caribbean and Tron. Pirates was Disney's best movie in years and I hope the sequel(s) hold up. My true love though, is Tron. Easily in my top 10 favorite movies of all time, I love the visuals and the kind of fun campiness associated with it. Hell, SFX in commercials are better than in Tron, but I loved what it started. There would be no computer graphics if it wasn't for Tron laying the groundwork. I love me some Tron.
Anyway, back to the game... Its got great voice overwork by many of the lead actors in the movies, including James Woods and Orlando Bloom. Hell they even got Bruce Boxloitner and David Warner from Tron back. The graphics content has improved over the last game with a wonderful spectrum of color. They have also done some improvements with the camera angles blocking views.It's full of fun mini games and a compelling storyline, I give it a great recommendation. My only real complaint is that its a bit on the easy side. While the first one had some really challenging fights, the sequel is pretty much just a button masher. I rarely use magic or heals as direct damage seems good enough. Still, a lot of fun, especially considering that the play time is in the range of 40 hours or so.
Anyway, that's enough of that, hope you enjoyed the review.

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Clay Feet

You know, Every couple of months I end up in one of those conversations that result in me being asked the question," When are you going to start seeing someone?"
Why is everyone so preoccupied with dating and relationships? I'm not sure how many people know this, but were at like a 50% divorce rate here.. marriage is outmoded, like the VCR and portable CD players. There are people out there still using these things, yet better things are already there.
Lets face facts, people generally are pretty selfish. We are raised in a society of instant gratification and quick fix thinking. Marriage is a long haul, full of good and bad times. Giving up and divorcing kinda takes the whole "Till Death Do Us Part" thing and renders it moot.
One of the things I really hate is breaking promises, so why put yourself in a situation where you would? Hell, you don't even have to break that promise, your spouse could beat you to it.

Fortunately, I came up with a solution today. I'm going to marry a lesbian. See, all the things that can go wrong in a relationship will be worked out. First, I have nothing she wants, so she can't lose. Second, she has everything I want but can't have. It will be just like a marriage. Hell we will probably have the same amount of sex as most married couples...which we all know is nonexistant.
See lesbians are the perfect women, all the trapping of men, with none of that fleshy baggage hanging underneath. It would be like hanging out with one of the guys!
But Hey ladies, don't think I have forgotten you!! You to can get in on the action with a homosexual husband. He has all the trappings of a women, but you can take him to meet your parents. (Guys, with any luck your lesbian has been disowned by her family, your in the clear!!)

Now, my only problem is fooling one into buying this plan....

End of Line.
Gerrad!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Parts of a Hole.

Yeah, I've pretty much screwed over posting this everyday. Why is the crap that you don't want to do seem to take prominece against the things you'd rather do. Screw that.

First off, I've updated my links to a good friend of mine, and quite the talented artist, click on them to the ----------------------------->

He's pretty good, though it pains to feed him any accolades at all since in 7th grade he fleeced me out of $5.00 American in 1990 money, quite the bonaza at the time I assure you. for a 11 X 17 pencil drawing of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Damn, back then those were actually cool (despite the fact that I hear they are actually greenlighting a 4th movie for them)

One is his blog, featuring much more current drawings and the other is his website, showcasing some of his work form the San Francisco Art Acadamy. The smug bastard.

Check it out.

Now hopefully a running feature of the blog, today's featurette:
Parts of a Hole-

Basically a commentary on what distracts me throughout my everyday life, the parts that fill my free time.

Deadwood:
Maybe the best show on TV, even if its premium channel pay TV. Over the last few years I have really begun to like Westerns, which I always loathed as a kid, and this show has everything I look for in a TV show.
Cursing, nudity, making fun of the handicapped, and violence toward women. (and hey if you though that was funny, well my friend we will get along fine)
Unfortunately my brother has my DVDs and I will probably never see them again. He has had my copy of Kill Bill Like a year.
Anyway if you haven't seen it, check it out. If you don't like it I fully encourage you to leave a comment box here full, calling me a cocksucker.

Gerrad!

Friday, March 31, 2006

First, Most Beautiful

Well, well, well, Looks like I have finally gotten off of my own sorry ass and started a blog. Not that I gather anyone will really care about this, I see it as more of a self exercise in getting into the habit of writing everyday. I make no claim as to being good, or even passable for that matter, but I do feel that writing something on a consistant basis is both cathartic and good practice.

See I want to write, I love the concept and creative process behind writing, but like most Americans, I have a problem. Lazyness, pure and simple. Well maybe not quite that simple, but I work close to 60 hour weeks at my unfufilling job and often don't find the time, no correction, motivation to to muster up the sheer energy that it takes to compose my random thoughts into some sort of structered form, especially with such moden conviences at my disposal; i.e. DVDs, Cable television, the interent, IPODS, gaming, the list can be rather long.

So this is my first attemt to find something beyond that, something where at least I can look back and say, "There I tried to do something."
This blog really isn't about posting these stories, or lifeevents, or whatever for the reader, but about my own attempts to grow.

Damn, that makes me sound all touchy-feely metrosexual.... not my intention I assure you. I am here to make this promise though... Following posts will deal with all kinds of things, stories, movie reviews, current interests, hell well see.

GERRAD!