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A blog for poetry, prose, and pop culture.

Monday, April 17, 2006

"-Insert Brokeback Joke Here-"

All right, I promised another story... Pull up a chair kids, and always lock the door, though I doubt that would have helped me in this predicament.

So like I said, I manage a fast food restaurant, a McDonalds, though I am unsure if I actually mentioned that. Now before we get onto this story, let me clarify one thing about working at McDonalds when your almost 30, I get some serious benefits, and make pretty good money. I've got a great car and a great first home. I don't want for anything and I get to work with some really cool people. Now proceed with your flaming of this topic.

SO anyway, last year I was managing a McDonalds located inside a Wal-Mart, and the thing that really sucks about this is that we didn't have our own restrooms, we have to use the ones in the main Wal-Mart area. It was in the late afternoon period, during a lull in business, so I decide to hit the head while the hittings good so to speak.

I enter the restroom and head for the urinal. I put my right arm up against the wall (in the standard God I gotta take such a piss I should brace myself pose) and aimed with my left. I'm doing my business when I suddenly feel some guys hand caressing my stomach slowly towards my junk!!!

My first reaction is NOT to turn around as my dick is hanging out and this guy trying to cop a feel here. So I kind of half turn around and have cover myself with my hand yelling," What the Hell are you doing?!"

Now I will swear to my dying day that this guy was either the greatest actor I have ever seen, or he was genuinely surprised to see that it was me. All the color drained out of his face and he stammered, "I..I..I thought you were someone else." He then bolted out the door.

This is the part of the story were I should have probably beat his ass or something, but I swear to God my first thought was, " what's this guy doing dating someone who looks like me?!" I mean I'm no picture of beauty (I'm a big boy) but he wasn't bad looking you know? The worst part is, I wasn't weirded out at first, just thought that it was strange.. But the more and more I thought about it, the creepier the whole thing became. I mean some guy was caressing me. ME?!?! Damn that creeps me out. As work passed that day I was really out of it. Looking back on it now, I can find the humor in this.. But still..

Needless to say, I don't use urinals anymore, I always lock the stalls. I'm so jealous of girls, I mean this happens to two girls and its a hot lesbo story (though why one would be using an urinals is weird) Plus they always get to use the stall...

Still.. one of the few times someone has come onto me without a dollar bill in my hand and its a guy. What kind of luck is THAT?!

End of Line.



cloudedviolets said...
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cloudedviolets said...

Now while I laughed quite hard at both this and the below post it has to be said that your roommate took the wind out of your sails for the second one by relaying it to me earlier in the day. My suggestion here is to beat him, but I trust you know the best method of punishment for this indiscretion. At any rate, damn funny stuff.

briscojr said...

Hmm... so I guess this would explain why Minja never lets anyone see a picture of him.