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A blog for poetry, prose, and pop culture.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Clay Feet

You know, Every couple of months I end up in one of those conversations that result in me being asked the question," When are you going to start seeing someone?"
Why is everyone so preoccupied with dating and relationships? I'm not sure how many people know this, but were at like a 50% divorce rate here.. marriage is outmoded, like the VCR and portable CD players. There are people out there still using these things, yet better things are already there.
Lets face facts, people generally are pretty selfish. We are raised in a society of instant gratification and quick fix thinking. Marriage is a long haul, full of good and bad times. Giving up and divorcing kinda takes the whole "Till Death Do Us Part" thing and renders it moot.
One of the things I really hate is breaking promises, so why put yourself in a situation where you would? Hell, you don't even have to break that promise, your spouse could beat you to it.

Fortunately, I came up with a solution today. I'm going to marry a lesbian. See, all the things that can go wrong in a relationship will be worked out. First, I have nothing she wants, so she can't lose. Second, she has everything I want but can't have. It will be just like a marriage. Hell we will probably have the same amount of sex as most married couples...which we all know is nonexistant.
See lesbians are the perfect women, all the trapping of men, with none of that fleshy baggage hanging underneath. It would be like hanging out with one of the guys!
But Hey ladies, don't think I have forgotten you!! You to can get in on the action with a homosexual husband. He has all the trappings of a women, but you can take him to meet your parents. (Guys, with any luck your lesbian has been disowned by her family, your in the clear!!)

Now, my only problem is fooling one into buying this plan....

End of Line.

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