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A blog for poetry, prose, and pop culture.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

True Story Time!

Hey all,

Time for my last really good bathroom tale. This happened after the Wal-Mart grope job that I talked about and after the incident in the bar with the guy telling me to check out his junk. I am down in Tempe at some kind of Chuckie Cheese place, it had an indoor cart racer course and a kiddie rock wall.. along with a ton of games. My step niece was having a birthday and my step mom had flown in from Ohio to celebrate it with her and I went down to meet them after I got off work. We were all having a good time when i had to go the bathroom.

I looked around for a bathroom and didn't see one. I continued looking until I finally saw a little boy, maybe 8 or so head into the toilet. I followed him and went directly into the stall as per normal for me. The stall was like right beside the entrance. I took a piss and came out of the stall. NOW is when I noticed something was amiss. There certainly seemed to be a lot of women in this bathroom. It immediately hit me that I entered the wrong restroom and my only thought at the time was to loudly swear," SHIT!" I quickly cut bait and left the bathroom.

About 5 minutes after the incident I was still feeling embarrassed when the manager came up to me requesting that I leave as several of the women had registered a complaint against me. I told him my excuse for doing so. Which I think I should mention here to help somewhat give cause for entering the wrong room, if not forgiveness. First off, it didn't have a door.. it was one of those open hallway type of entrances. In fact it was situated on a corner in a cut out fashion, so there is an opening like a square cut into the corner of the wall where to walls meet. Damn I hope that makes sense.

That's the best way I can describe it. Now i came in from the left side. The label from the bathroom was on the right wall, completely around the corner. I also explained that I only use stalls, though I didn't feel that this was a good time to explain exactly WHY I did. I also didn't confess to following a young boy into the toilet as I didn't feel that would help my case either. I think the manager understood where I was coming from, or at least he said he did, but I still had to leave. I told him I understood, I just needed to tell my step mom. He said okay. So I go over to my step mom and this is exactly how the conversation went.
(BTW my step-mom's name is Sherry)

"Hey Sherry!"
"Oh my God Gerrad, did you hear about that pervert in the women's restroom?!"
"Yeah that was me, Listen I gotta go."

Ahhh the look on her face made it almost worth it.

Anyway.. kicked out of a kiddie pizza joint for pissing in the girls toilet. How does so much shit happen to one guy in a fucking bathroom?"

Hope you enjoyed that one.. its one of my favorites.

End of Line.

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