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A blog for poetry, prose, and pop culture.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

True Story Time: Father's Day Edition!

Hey all and a Happy father's Day to everyone.

I thought I would post a true story about my dad... one of my favorite stories to tell about him because its damn funny.

My father had gotten engaged to my step mom and decided that he was going to sell his house. That was the house that for the most part my brother and myself had grown up in and he had been reticent to sell it until then. But as he was starting a new life with his fiance you can't live in the house that your ex-wife picked out. Too much baggage.

So the two of them, with help from my brother and myself when we could started fixing the place up to sell. My Dad had agreed to rent it out for like a year or so before he came to this decision and the renters really ran the place down. Especially the backyard. It was overgrown with weeds that were five feet tall at least. It was a jungle of weeds, untrimmed trees, and dog shit. My Dad was gonna tear up the back yard.. seed it with grass and clean out the area where he had put rocks in when he was still living there.

So he and my step-mom, Sherry, were in the back yard tilling the ground and my Dad was using a pickax to turn up the soil. At some point Sherry looked over at my Dad and blood was streaming down his leg and out of a puncture would through his pant leg. My Dad had stabbed himself in the leg with a pickax... and HE DIDN'T EVEN FEEL IT!!

Sherry freaks out and tells my Dad that they are going to the hospital... here is where I should mention that Sherry lives on the east side of town in Tempe and my Dad's about as far west as you can get (at the time ) on the outskirts of Peoria. So she is in such a panic my Dad had to drive himself to the hospital. He took a towel and tried unsuccessfully to stem the blood flow. So they hopped in the car and headed out.

My Dad walks into the ER and the nurse on duty goes a little pale and rushes him in. Everyone starts going over to help him. Now my Dad is wondering why everyone is so concerned but he goes along with it, even stopping the on Duty nurse from cutting his pants off as he," Needs to wear them again tomorrow to finish yard work." Those were the rattiest jeans even before this incident. He actually got up and took them off. The doc gets in there and by the time they are ready the wound has closed up on itself... they didn't give hm stitches or anything.. just cleaned it off and told him to get dressed.

Now my Dad walk to hit the restroom and sees himself in the mirror. His whole body is covered in blood, face arms, head, hands, everywhere. It looked like he fucking killed somebody. He figures as he was driving he got it over himself while smoking and smoothing his hair out. Probably wiping sweat off too. He also figured that was why everyone was freaking out when he walked in... looking like an extra from Reservoir Dogs.

Damn who stabs themselves in the leg with a fucking pickax and doesn't notice. Only my Dad.

Dad... You are the greatest man I have ever known and I hope to one day be even a fraction of the man you are. I love you Dad.

End of Line.

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