Blog Summary

A blog for poetry, prose, and pop culture.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

True Story Time!

Happy September all!

Today's true story happened last night. Bill was in town and wanted to meet up at Old Chicago, our watering hole of choice. Jason's brother Danny and his wife Leila met up with us as well.

We had a few beers and ate some dinner, generally having a good time. I must say that Danny's wife DID impress me quite heartily, taking a swallow of my drink of choice, the Rusty Nail (Scotch and Drambuie) without even flinching or making a face, not once, but twice! She also preferred my cheap beer of choice, Old Milwaukee, over Danny and Bill's Old Style. Very cool.

Anyway to the point of the story, we were there long enough that they started up the traditional Saturday Night Karaoke. I've dine Karaoke enough that I am not embarrassed about doing it anymore, as long as they have a song that I feel is in my vocal pitch (no high notes) and is funny. I don't want to sing something serious, because I can't sing. If its funny though, well everyone can have a laugh at the lyrics or my voice. I go up to put in my staple, Boyz in the Hood, as sung by Dynamite Hack. Two white guys who cover the classic NWA rap song by slowing it down and singing it like a slow alternative jam. All the lyrics and such are the same, and it usually gets a good pop from the crowd. I once got a standing ovation while singing that at a work convention. Its funny.

Before I could submit my song, the hostess of the karaoke informed me that I was banned from singing the song as it was cited in an earlier visit as being offensive. This sucked! Personally, Bill and myself thing that the hostess herself found it not cool that I was singing a song about slapping hoes as she was African American. Being bummed out, I thumbed through the catalog until I found a suitable replacement, The Bloodhound Gang's Ballad of Chasey Lain. Way more offensive than Boys in the Hood, the chorus of the song requests over and over to "Show'em them titties." I submitted that song and when I was done, I was informed that I was no longer allowed to sing that one either. She also wondered how I could pic a song that was WORSE than the one I was told I couldn't sing. I should point out that before singing the song, I informed the audience that my original choice was banned for being to offensive and this one would be more "not offensive at all." My feeling was that if I was get shut down from sing the songs I wanted to sing, then I was going to make them regret this decision.

I closed out 1 more song, if only to get Bill to sing his version of Ugly Kid Joe's, I Hate Everything About You, complete with Nat King Cole vocals in the final line. Piece of Shit Car by Adam Sandler. Yeah.. I got banned form that one too.

My feelings on this are so:
1- The songs shouldn't be in the catalog if you don't want us to sing them.
2- If anyone finds the song offensive, what are they doing in a bar at 10 and 11 pm on a Saturday night. They are in a bar for god's sake, you have to expect some salty language at a bar. If you don't want to be offended, remove yourself from a place that serves beer. Shit happens when you drink.
3- Everyone in that bar is over 21, nothing I am saying is anymore offensive than the other off key singers who take the songs too seriously. I mean, there are some really bad singers who are singing stuff that no one wants to hear.

Anyway, I realize this true story may not be of the same caliber as my previous posts, but I still find it amusing that I have been effectly banned from singing.

Anyway, I'll post another true McDonalds Tale in the next edition of this feature. Thanks for reading.

End of Line.

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