I sent some time this past weekend in a really eye opening discussion with a friend of mine. We ran into each other at Old Chicago. We are both facing similar choices in our lives looking to make some changes. Talking about work, which we both work at different places, but each facing the same problems and choices. It was kind of a revalation to realize that other people have the same problems as me. I feel compelled to give a job nothing but my best efforts, but at the same time all that has got me the last 10 years is more work. That's not enough anymore. I don't know if what I am doing now is what I want to do with my life, but I keep doing it for a lot of the same reasons my friend does.
I'm good at what I do, it's what I have done for a long time, I am just gonna face the same problems and responsibilities at another job. I don't know that quitting my job is the answer, but I don't know if I have all the questions too. I wonder if my choices would be different if I had someone else to ask them too. Or if its these same questions that preventing that from happening. Do I change now and be in a worse situation, or wait and never make a change at all? Or is the path I am on now the one I am supposed to take?
I spent a long time talking about this on Saturday, which is good for me, for despite the fact that I feel I am pretty emotional in my writing, I am anything but in my daily life. I suppose that eveyone has these same questions and face these same challenges, but this is a new feeling for me. Before when I wanted to quit it was always from a purely physical stand point, and if I wanted to keep pushing myself. Now I am considering other factors for the first time in a long time. It feels like I am so close, but so far away at the same time.
I do know that these past few weekends have really opened my eyes to a possibility I had long since forgotten. Even if nothing comes from it, I know what can be. Here's hoping for the best.
End of Line.