Hey all,
Here is the third poem I wrote in Tucson. I had a real hard time falling asleep in the motel. especially Friday night, my last night. I had worked until almost 10pm and had to be back at 6am, so insomnia wasn't a good thing at the time. I did write this during those early hours of morning, Kind of tired and bleary and ready to come home. I had been tossing the title around as a poem concept even before I left and had originally tried to write it then, but I didn't find anything about that version that felt right. I wanted the poem to be a thank you to those who help me through the rough times, because that is what it means to me I also feel that you could get some darker undertones in how you infer the title. Maybe I am trying to much, but I wanted the dual meaning there. Poetry is open to interpretation though, I just hope you take something away with it. Thanks for reading.
My Oldest Friend
The weight upon me feels so heavy.
Attacks me so I can't defend.
When everything is best forgotten,
I seek for what I can surely depend.
Nowhere left to turn,
My soul to worn to mend
When I've nothing left to give,
And I'm to tired now to still pretend.
Trying hard to break free,
To finally snap this beaten trend.
Drowning soon upon my sorrows,
In sins that I soon will rend.
Caught in so much confusion,
I can no longer comprehend.
Can't find my own salvation.
Breaking hard I cannot bend,
Looking for a chance of hope,
A hand out in offered lend.
Reaching out to pull me up,
That redemption shall make amend.
And when the things that hold me down,
Threaten again to offend.
I can look that that one certainty,
When my time feels at an end,
To turn to what's left to me,,
And rely upon my oldest friend
End of Line.
Gerrad!.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Deepening Sigh
Hey all,
This is the first of the three poems I wrote in Tucson. It was really late at night on my first night down there. Sitting in the hotel room, unable to sleep.
Deepening Sigh
I look to my left,
At a bed all alone.
An empty space beside me,
Trying to sleep with the unknown.
Locked down in this hotel,
A strange new place.
Away from the world,
Still haunted by your face.
The glow of the television,
Plays on in the background.
But I don't seem to watch,
Drowning out all the sound.
So far from my home,
Don't know when I'll be back.
It seems so long ago,
That my life was on track.
As these days pass on,
And the time ticks by,
I lose more of myself,
To this deepening sigh.
Here in this room,
A place built for two,
Sleepless nights lacking slumber,
All of me missing you.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
This is the first of the three poems I wrote in Tucson. It was really late at night on my first night down there. Sitting in the hotel room, unable to sleep.
Deepening Sigh
I look to my left,
At a bed all alone.
An empty space beside me,
Trying to sleep with the unknown.
Locked down in this hotel,
A strange new place.
Away from the world,
Still haunted by your face.
The glow of the television,
Plays on in the background.
But I don't seem to watch,
Drowning out all the sound.
So far from my home,
Don't know when I'll be back.
It seems so long ago,
That my life was on track.
As these days pass on,
And the time ticks by,
I lose more of myself,
To this deepening sigh.
Here in this room,
A place built for two,
Sleepless nights lacking slumber,
All of me missing you.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Tucson and all the Rest
Hey all,
Today's post will be an update on what's been going on the last week or so, specifically going to Tuscon. First off, it was boring. Working on training for 10 hours a day or so makes for a long dry day, doing stuff that comes to you so easily, and watching other people struggle with it can get frustrating. Then to go back to a lonely motel doesn't help matters. The people I was training worked the late shifts, so I ended up pulling a lot of 12 to 10pm's to get everything done. We covered so many training items I am afraid that they won't retain everything I taught them.
I couldn't believe that so many of the businesses closed so early too, I ended up eating at the Cracker Barrel like 3 times in a 6 day period as it was the only place (non fast food) that I could get to before close. All in all I am glad to be back. I really wish that I could have gotten a laptop for the trip to keep writing. As soon as I do get that I am going to start doing some longer work in addition to what I post here.
As I mentioned yesterday I did write 3 poems down there, plus I still have 1 I wrote before I left. There should be plenty of poetry updates to come. I just wanted to get the one about the fire in California up while it was still in the public conscience.
I don't want to drone on about work to much anymore, but on Saturday I did get to do some fun stuff when I got home. Jason and me attended a Dunny trading party. I don't know if I have ever commented on Dunny's before. Right now the whole urban toy craze is in effect with me as a victim. Urban toys are usually a series of small plastic toys of a single design that many of today's more well known urban artists then design individually to be release in a series. Sites like Kid Robot, My Plastic Heart, and Rotofugi offer some great examples. They usually offer a wide assortment in different amounts, from commons to rares, all in a blind box so you don't know what you get. Pat of the fun is not knowing. There is a great little store in Phoenix called Red Hot Robot that sells them here, and they had a party where you can bring in your toys to trade. It was a pretty slow night and I didn't get to change out any of my duplicates, but there is always next time. It was worth attending just to get some info on a deluxe Dunny figure designed by Tara McPherson, a definate must own.
After the party, we hit the movies to see 30 Days of Night, vampire horror based on the graphic novel by Steven Niles. Overal, pretty unimpressed. A very typical horror concept, vampires invade town, but a slight twist is that in the winter this town has no sunlight for 30 days. There seemed to be a lot of hurry up and wait mentality to the film, with a burst of action followed but a spell of hiding. With all the downtime in the film, they certainly don't flesh out the characters that much. In the end, I didn't really care if they lived or died. I did like the makeup effects, I thought they did a good job of making vampires diffferent, along the lines of the books artist. When it was over however, I can't recommend it.
That about sums up the general update. Look tomorrow for another poem.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Today's post will be an update on what's been going on the last week or so, specifically going to Tuscon. First off, it was boring. Working on training for 10 hours a day or so makes for a long dry day, doing stuff that comes to you so easily, and watching other people struggle with it can get frustrating. Then to go back to a lonely motel doesn't help matters. The people I was training worked the late shifts, so I ended up pulling a lot of 12 to 10pm's to get everything done. We covered so many training items I am afraid that they won't retain everything I taught them.
I couldn't believe that so many of the businesses closed so early too, I ended up eating at the Cracker Barrel like 3 times in a 6 day period as it was the only place (non fast food) that I could get to before close. All in all I am glad to be back. I really wish that I could have gotten a laptop for the trip to keep writing. As soon as I do get that I am going to start doing some longer work in addition to what I post here.
As I mentioned yesterday I did write 3 poems down there, plus I still have 1 I wrote before I left. There should be plenty of poetry updates to come. I just wanted to get the one about the fire in California up while it was still in the public conscience.
I don't want to drone on about work to much anymore, but on Saturday I did get to do some fun stuff when I got home. Jason and me attended a Dunny trading party. I don't know if I have ever commented on Dunny's before. Right now the whole urban toy craze is in effect with me as a victim. Urban toys are usually a series of small plastic toys of a single design that many of today's more well known urban artists then design individually to be release in a series. Sites like Kid Robot, My Plastic Heart, and Rotofugi offer some great examples. They usually offer a wide assortment in different amounts, from commons to rares, all in a blind box so you don't know what you get. Pat of the fun is not knowing. There is a great little store in Phoenix called Red Hot Robot that sells them here, and they had a party where you can bring in your toys to trade. It was a pretty slow night and I didn't get to change out any of my duplicates, but there is always next time. It was worth attending just to get some info on a deluxe Dunny figure designed by Tara McPherson, a definate must own.
After the party, we hit the movies to see 30 Days of Night, vampire horror based on the graphic novel by Steven Niles. Overal, pretty unimpressed. A very typical horror concept, vampires invade town, but a slight twist is that in the winter this town has no sunlight for 30 days. There seemed to be a lot of hurry up and wait mentality to the film, with a burst of action followed but a spell of hiding. With all the downtime in the film, they certainly don't flesh out the characters that much. In the end, I didn't really care if they lived or died. I did like the makeup effects, I thought they did a good job of making vampires diffferent, along the lines of the books artist. When it was over however, I can't recommend it.
That about sums up the general update. Look tomorrow for another poem.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Once Were Strangers
Hey all,
Finally back from Tuscon, which wasn't that great. I'll post an update on the goings on down there, albeit it is pretty slim. There wasn't much going on. I thought I would post 1 of the three poems I wrote down there. This is the one I wrote the second night there, watching some of the coverage of the California wildfires and the destruction that they are causing inspired me to write a poem dedicated to tho those victims. I thought it would be aa good idea to post it while it is still pertinent.
Once Were Strangers
The fires burn,
An awesome sight.
Roaring flames,
Flexing destructive might.
A wild rage,
Now out of control,
Separated masses,
Now found un-whole.
The homes of many,
Wrought asunder.
Their worldy goods,
Now act as flame's plunder.
No place feels safe.
Closing in upon the city.
So many now so lost,
Finding only pity.
San Diego and Los Angeles,
California faces such dangers,
Tragedy now brings together,
Refugee's who once were strangers.
In times as these,
So hard to cope.
Clutching tight to those moments,
That offer a glimmer of hope.
Rally now!
To those in need,
These victim's seek,
For one to lead.
Look for those,
Who now need care,
As all of America,
Pulls togther in prayer.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Finally back from Tuscon, which wasn't that great. I'll post an update on the goings on down there, albeit it is pretty slim. There wasn't much going on. I thought I would post 1 of the three poems I wrote down there. This is the one I wrote the second night there, watching some of the coverage of the California wildfires and the destruction that they are causing inspired me to write a poem dedicated to tho those victims. I thought it would be aa good idea to post it while it is still pertinent.
Once Were Strangers
The fires burn,
An awesome sight.
Roaring flames,
Flexing destructive might.
A wild rage,
Now out of control,
Separated masses,
Now found un-whole.
The homes of many,
Wrought asunder.
Their worldy goods,
Now act as flame's plunder.
No place feels safe.
Closing in upon the city.
So many now so lost,
Finding only pity.
San Diego and Los Angeles,
California faces such dangers,
Tragedy now brings together,
Refugee's who once were strangers.
In times as these,
So hard to cope.
Clutching tight to those moments,
That offer a glimmer of hope.
Rally now!
To those in need,
These victim's seek,
For one to lead.
Look for those,
Who now need care,
As all of America,
Pulls togther in prayer.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Assorted Nuts
Hey all,
Sorry for the lack of posts the last few days. Post birthday stuff seemed to be a bit consuming. I spent Friday mostly at the DMV and getting errands done for this coming week, which sees me working in Tuscon for the next 5 to 6 days. Work has asked me to help out done in another district so I am being put up in a hotel for the duration. This will mean a lot of downtime for me so hopefully I can get some writing done, at least a few poems. I still have one written and ready, I hope to be able to finish some more down there.
I am sure that being alone and such in a strange place living out of my sutcase should fuel me a bit for new poems. Honestly, I am not looking forward to being down there and away for so long with nothing to do but work in a strange place. Hopefuly it will be failry painless.
Saturday saw me attending a costume party and my costume didn't arrive so I had to improvise. never a cool thing. Hopefully it will arrive before the contest we are having at my work. Still I got a great reaction and it was alot of fun. The party itself was phenomal and I am really glad I went, food and fun was abundant as well. It's always fun with a 12 pack of Old Milwaukee to drink. I am really glad I got to go. Autumn surely throws a great bash.
Well, that's probably it for this week. Unless there is some sort of computer access, I will be incomunicado until the weekend.
Thanks for reading.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Sorry for the lack of posts the last few days. Post birthday stuff seemed to be a bit consuming. I spent Friday mostly at the DMV and getting errands done for this coming week, which sees me working in Tuscon for the next 5 to 6 days. Work has asked me to help out done in another district so I am being put up in a hotel for the duration. This will mean a lot of downtime for me so hopefully I can get some writing done, at least a few poems. I still have one written and ready, I hope to be able to finish some more down there.
I am sure that being alone and such in a strange place living out of my sutcase should fuel me a bit for new poems. Honestly, I am not looking forward to being down there and away for so long with nothing to do but work in a strange place. Hopefuly it will be failry painless.
Saturday saw me attending a costume party and my costume didn't arrive so I had to improvise. never a cool thing. Hopefully it will arrive before the contest we are having at my work. Still I got a great reaction and it was alot of fun. The party itself was phenomal and I am really glad I went, food and fun was abundant as well. It's always fun with a 12 pack of Old Milwaukee to drink. I am really glad I got to go. Autumn surely throws a great bash.
Well, that's probably it for this week. Unless there is some sort of computer access, I will be incomunicado until the weekend.
Thanks for reading.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Another Birthday to Come
Hey all,
I wrote this poem for my birthday, which is today. As you get older the things you start to worry about change, and grow more complex. I wanted to kind of capture that feeling. I'd be negelct not to point out I wrote this actually the day before my brithday for posting purposes, but wanted to put it up today. It felt good to kind of unload some of these pressures.
Enjoy.
Another Birthday to Come
Another year older has come today,
The calendar days been pulled away.
Time seems to pass by so fast,
And all the good things don't seem to last.
It feels like yesterday offered new hope,
But today brings the same issues to cope.
I'm still working at the same old place,
Fifteen years still at this tired rat race.
Where does the path of my life lead,
Lost looking for a better purpose in stead.
A birthday should celebrate your time on Earth,
A remembrance to commencerate your birth.
But the innocent song of the young.
Is a different tune when older sung.
The worries I carry from these last years.
Now have even more reveberate fears.
It's hard to find the blessings of age,
When your trapped inside this lonely cage.
To add to a year full of passing regret,
One more reason to cause me such fret.
A prayer cast or wish with breath made,
A candle snuffed out the price that's paid.
What we ask for we may not get,
All of our life no longer set.
I still just sit and wonder why,
Is there an answer I've not tried?
These things I feel just won't abate,
Consumed by doubt and fear and hate.
So here's to another birthday to come,
May next year find my heart not so numb.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
I wrote this poem for my birthday, which is today. As you get older the things you start to worry about change, and grow more complex. I wanted to kind of capture that feeling. I'd be negelct not to point out I wrote this actually the day before my brithday for posting purposes, but wanted to put it up today. It felt good to kind of unload some of these pressures.
Enjoy.
Another Birthday to Come
Another year older has come today,
The calendar days been pulled away.
Time seems to pass by so fast,
And all the good things don't seem to last.
It feels like yesterday offered new hope,
But today brings the same issues to cope.
I'm still working at the same old place,
Fifteen years still at this tired rat race.
Where does the path of my life lead,
Lost looking for a better purpose in stead.
A birthday should celebrate your time on Earth,
A remembrance to commencerate your birth.
But the innocent song of the young.
Is a different tune when older sung.
The worries I carry from these last years.
Now have even more reveberate fears.
It's hard to find the blessings of age,
When your trapped inside this lonely cage.
To add to a year full of passing regret,
One more reason to cause me such fret.
A prayer cast or wish with breath made,
A candle snuffed out the price that's paid.
What we ask for we may not get,
All of our life no longer set.
I still just sit and wonder why,
Is there an answer I've not tried?
These things I feel just won't abate,
Consumed by doubt and fear and hate.
So here's to another birthday to come,
May next year find my heart not so numb.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Monday, October 15, 2007
What Heaven Tastes Like
Hey all,
Had the great oppertunity to hit the Arizona State Fair last night. It's been a long time since I hit the fair, at least 1993 or 1994 so going back was an interesting experiance. Growing up we weren't allowed to go on any of the rides that went off the ground as my parents decided that anything that was built and deconstructed so fast wasn't safe enough. At 31 I rode my first Farris Wheel, a prospect I found more frightening than any of the coasters at Six Flags, mostly I guess because I had worked it up in my mind that the Farris Wheel was the scariest ride in the park. The last time I tried to ride the Farris Wheel I was 12 or so and made them stop the ride and let me off, and that wasn't even the big Wheel, it was the kiddie one at Cedar Point. My parents were okay with going on rides at Amusement parks, but we never really went to many. I firmly believe that I need to go to Disneyland and ride Space Mountain, as the last time I was there was 1986, and I was to scared.
Anyway back to the best art of the State Fair, the food. Fair food is an excersie in excess, a tribute to every unholy food ever made. I made one simple promise as I was there that night, to only eay fried foods. That's not a problem when you are at the fair. I ate a LOAF of french fries, like a bread loaf you could eat like a taco of fries. Fried Indian taco, sort of a tostada on Indian Fry bread. We also sampled fried rattlesnake nuggets. The best part of the night was the discovery of the place that deep fried EVERYTHING. I have wanted to sample the idea of a deep fried twinkie since reading about it in a Penny Arcade comic strip. The group of people I went with sampled a bit of everything, deep fried twinkies, fried cookie dough, fried carmel apples (the weakest of the lot) fried Dr. Pepper (YES oh JOY...deep fried soda!!) and that special taste of heaven itself, the deep fried snickers bar. It was an orgy of unhealth in the evening, but the deep freid snickers bar was excellent. I liked it so much i bought a second to take home. We all had way to much to eat, but I don't think anyone would have changed anything about the night. A few rides, a lot of food, and even more fun. It was excellent and I am glad I had a chance to go. I posted above a picture of me on the verge of tasting heaven. Yes... that IS the face you make before the imminent arrival of Rapture.
End of Line.
Gerrrad!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
The Line Up
Hey all,
I figured I would get around to posting my thoughts on the fall schedule finally, as we are entering the fourth week of programming. Never before have I been so excited about so many different programs in one season, and ultimately ended up so underwhelmed. I am watching alot of these programs, but none of them have the same compelling viewling natures of my tried and true returning favorites, like Lost, Heroes, The Office or Battlestar Galactica.
My favorite new shows so far are Pushing Daisies, about a guy who can reanimate the dead, and Journeyman, sort of a Quantum Leap with a recurring cast. Daisies is fun and quirky and totally unlike anything else on television. Ultimately I feel that is what is going to cancel the show, Its too fun and quirky, so different that I don't know if most people will get the shows vibe. I also feel that Journeyman will also be canceled, I haven't read a lot of favorable reviews and I don't think it can decide if it wants to be self contained in each episode, or have a broader more Lost or Heroes type of serial storyline. That being said, I loved the concept of Quantum Leap and this is pretty much the same, updated and tweaked sure, but still engaging and I like that by watching every week you get a bigger picture, but if you miss an episode you aren't totally lost. I guess I like what I think most people will dislike.
Bionic Woman is a real toss up for me. I really dislike the actress playing the bionic woman, but I really like BSG's Katee Sackhoff as the lead baddie. She is a totally dominating actress on the screen and really overpowers the main character whenever they share screen time. Since some f the producers of this show are involved with BSG, I feel they can right the ship. They need to make us care about the Jaime Summers character and give her some strength of character, I feel if the lead can step up her role, and tone down her litle sister per episode, I think you will have a good show. I'm sticking with it for now.
Close to the chopping block is Reaper. I haven't removed it yet, but other than the Devil, I don't really like any of the characters, its Clerks meets Buffy, with none of the pop culture cred. What made those other shows great is the pop culture nerdity that they embraced, while focusing the show on that genre audiance that sticks with shows like that. Reaper sems to me to be going for a broader appeal, and really falling short.
Just a few more show notes, The Office has been fantastic this season and we are 2 weeks away from the final season of Scrubs, both of which should really solidify a powerful Thursday night with My Name is Earl. Heroes had a slow premier episode, but it really has been heating up since then. I am very excited to see where this is going.
That about sums up the TV lineup, thanks for reading.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
I figured I would get around to posting my thoughts on the fall schedule finally, as we are entering the fourth week of programming. Never before have I been so excited about so many different programs in one season, and ultimately ended up so underwhelmed. I am watching alot of these programs, but none of them have the same compelling viewling natures of my tried and true returning favorites, like Lost, Heroes, The Office or Battlestar Galactica.
My favorite new shows so far are Pushing Daisies, about a guy who can reanimate the dead, and Journeyman, sort of a Quantum Leap with a recurring cast. Daisies is fun and quirky and totally unlike anything else on television. Ultimately I feel that is what is going to cancel the show, Its too fun and quirky, so different that I don't know if most people will get the shows vibe. I also feel that Journeyman will also be canceled, I haven't read a lot of favorable reviews and I don't think it can decide if it wants to be self contained in each episode, or have a broader more Lost or Heroes type of serial storyline. That being said, I loved the concept of Quantum Leap and this is pretty much the same, updated and tweaked sure, but still engaging and I like that by watching every week you get a bigger picture, but if you miss an episode you aren't totally lost. I guess I like what I think most people will dislike.
Bionic Woman is a real toss up for me. I really dislike the actress playing the bionic woman, but I really like BSG's Katee Sackhoff as the lead baddie. She is a totally dominating actress on the screen and really overpowers the main character whenever they share screen time. Since some f the producers of this show are involved with BSG, I feel they can right the ship. They need to make us care about the Jaime Summers character and give her some strength of character, I feel if the lead can step up her role, and tone down her litle sister per episode, I think you will have a good show. I'm sticking with it for now.
Close to the chopping block is Reaper. I haven't removed it yet, but other than the Devil, I don't really like any of the characters, its Clerks meets Buffy, with none of the pop culture cred. What made those other shows great is the pop culture nerdity that they embraced, while focusing the show on that genre audiance that sticks with shows like that. Reaper sems to me to be going for a broader appeal, and really falling short.
Just a few more show notes, The Office has been fantastic this season and we are 2 weeks away from the final season of Scrubs, both of which should really solidify a powerful Thursday night with My Name is Earl. Heroes had a slow premier episode, but it really has been heating up since then. I am very excited to see where this is going.
That about sums up the TV lineup, thanks for reading.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Grew Up Old
Hey all,
IT's looking to be a poetry heavy month as that seems to be the mood of which I am in to write. There are other things I do want to post about, like the fall TV lineup or a True Story or two, but none of those things seem to currently interest me to write about. In my previous poem I mentioned that I had two other poems written, one along the same lines as that poem, and another in a more fragmentated state. After work today I sat down and took the fragments and wrote this poem. In doing so the poem came out more along the lines of a darker or depressing tone. It's another of my attempts to write about something that affects many people, even if it's not myself. Though I think we can all relate in some sense to giving into excess and the prices paid from our actions.
Grew Up Old
I grew up old,
Felt ahead of my days,
Thought I knew the answers,
Wouldn't change my ways.
As the years piled up,
My living stayed hard.
Excess wasn't enough,
Played out the last card.
Told my parents,
They could go to hell,
Gonna be on my own,
Oh how far I fell.
Just one more score,
Another drink or fight,
When the bottom dropped out,
Didn't know wrong from right.
But now I lost,
That pretense of youth,
And the consequences,
Just belay the truth.
Did too much drugs,
Partied more than I should,
Always needing more,
Just because I thought I could.
The price I've paid,
May to some seem steep.
For the choices I made,
You sow what you reap.
So I may go,
Before my turn,
'Tis the bitterest of lessons,
I've have learned.
So out of control,
No time to say my goodbye's,
Took all that was good,
And corrupted with lies.
Now I've seen to much,
Lived a life without cost,
And I'm to far gone,
To even know what I've lost.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
IT's looking to be a poetry heavy month as that seems to be the mood of which I am in to write. There are other things I do want to post about, like the fall TV lineup or a True Story or two, but none of those things seem to currently interest me to write about. In my previous poem I mentioned that I had two other poems written, one along the same lines as that poem, and another in a more fragmentated state. After work today I sat down and took the fragments and wrote this poem. In doing so the poem came out more along the lines of a darker or depressing tone. It's another of my attempts to write about something that affects many people, even if it's not myself. Though I think we can all relate in some sense to giving into excess and the prices paid from our actions.
Grew Up Old
I grew up old,
Felt ahead of my days,
Thought I knew the answers,
Wouldn't change my ways.
As the years piled up,
My living stayed hard.
Excess wasn't enough,
Played out the last card.
Told my parents,
They could go to hell,
Gonna be on my own,
Oh how far I fell.
Just one more score,
Another drink or fight,
When the bottom dropped out,
Didn't know wrong from right.
But now I lost,
That pretense of youth,
And the consequences,
Just belay the truth.
Did too much drugs,
Partied more than I should,
Always needing more,
Just because I thought I could.
The price I've paid,
May to some seem steep.
For the choices I made,
You sow what you reap.
So I may go,
Before my turn,
'Tis the bitterest of lessons,
I've have learned.
So out of control,
No time to say my goodbye's,
Took all that was good,
And corrupted with lies.
Now I've seen to much,
Lived a life without cost,
And I'm to far gone,
To even know what I've lost.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Friday, October 12, 2007
Quick Hit
Hey all,
Just a quick hit for now. I usually take a look at the sitemeter running on the blog to see where in the country people are reading it from. I am not so foolish as to think I have a whole list of people reading me, but I like to look so I can see if my Dad has checked it out, or where people link into the site from. I found out today that the website The Comic Reporter actually has a link to my site on my mention of Alex Toth's passing back in May. Sure I am buried in with about a 100 other blogger's sites, but it was still cool to know that someone checked out my site from that link.
I don't know really how many people read what I have to say, but I appreciate everyone who does. Thanks for all of you who continue to inspire me to write.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Just a quick hit for now. I usually take a look at the sitemeter running on the blog to see where in the country people are reading it from. I am not so foolish as to think I have a whole list of people reading me, but I like to look so I can see if my Dad has checked it out, or where people link into the site from. I found out today that the website The Comic Reporter actually has a link to my site on my mention of Alex Toth's passing back in May. Sure I am buried in with about a 100 other blogger's sites, but it was still cool to know that someone checked out my site from that link.
I don't know really how many people read what I have to say, but I appreciate everyone who does. Thanks for all of you who continue to inspire me to write.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Images of You
Hey all,
I decided to post another poem as I seem to be of a mood to write them recently. I have 3 poems scratched out on paper that I have done bit by bit while at work. I have about 30 minutes or so every night where I don't have much to do if I really focus and in that time I usually sit in the office and write. One poem is pretty much just pieces of lines without any real structure, the other two are pretty well formed. Both are along the lines of my poems You and 100, using a repeating word over and over. I am posting the first here, sort of a piece to accompany the last poem I wrote. It's another straight up love poem, though in the writing I can see some similarites with my last work, I hope this can stand on its own.
Images of You
How do I say,
Why you mean so much to me.
That every time we're apart,
Finds me such anxiety.
I'd make a pledge to you,
If only you'd say when.
A litany of promises,
Again and again....
Images of you.....
Shows me the meaning that i need,
Your the only thing I want,
All wordly posessions would I cede.
A haunting memory,
Seems to fill that lonely void.
A flittering remembrance
Of those past times we have enjoyed.
When your in my arms,
My fleeting heart can find it's beat.
Through even greater surge,
Those moments lip to lip we do meet.
Images of you.....
From past and present now,
To the future visions of love,
And the promises we vow.
Though weather may turn rough,
And the sounding rain may fall,
In the harshest of climates,
Our love is protected from all.
In the window to my soul,
I'll look in to find you there,
The summation of my world,
For which none can find compare.
Images of you....
When I close my eyes so tight,
I can picture you with me,
And everything just feels so right.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
I decided to post another poem as I seem to be of a mood to write them recently. I have 3 poems scratched out on paper that I have done bit by bit while at work. I have about 30 minutes or so every night where I don't have much to do if I really focus and in that time I usually sit in the office and write. One poem is pretty much just pieces of lines without any real structure, the other two are pretty well formed. Both are along the lines of my poems You and 100, using a repeating word over and over. I am posting the first here, sort of a piece to accompany the last poem I wrote. It's another straight up love poem, though in the writing I can see some similarites with my last work, I hope this can stand on its own.
Images of You
How do I say,
Why you mean so much to me.
That every time we're apart,
Finds me such anxiety.
I'd make a pledge to you,
If only you'd say when.
A litany of promises,
Again and again....
Images of you.....
Shows me the meaning that i need,
Your the only thing I want,
All wordly posessions would I cede.
A haunting memory,
Seems to fill that lonely void.
A flittering remembrance
Of those past times we have enjoyed.
When your in my arms,
My fleeting heart can find it's beat.
Through even greater surge,
Those moments lip to lip we do meet.
Images of you.....
From past and present now,
To the future visions of love,
And the promises we vow.
Though weather may turn rough,
And the sounding rain may fall,
In the harshest of climates,
Our love is protected from all.
In the window to my soul,
I'll look in to find you there,
The summation of my world,
For which none can find compare.
Images of you....
When I close my eyes so tight,
I can picture you with me,
And everything just feels so right.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
One Final Endeavor
Hey all,
I sat down this morning to do a straight up love poem, something positive. I just sat down today and wrote, nothing in my mind but the fact that I wanted something positive. I don't like to over think these poems, just keep it loose and simple. I feel that brings a better energy out of the words. It feels good to write spontaneously somedays. Just whatever seems to flow. Anyway hope you enjoy and thanks for reading.
One Final Endeavor
There are so many things that I've wanted to say.
So very tired of these little games we play.
Just to be honest and speak to you truth.
Rekinde the magic we lost in our youth.
Tell you these words that find in me joy,
Forget these moments of pretending to be coy.
Open myself and let you see in,
A brand new start all over again.
In the seconds when you aren't here,
Always in my mind's eye do you appear.
Never far from my waking thought,
Even in dreams brings your images caught.
And as you see to depths of my love,
Only you contain the solution thereof.
I pray this leap of faith will nary fall short,
A structural frame from what we share shall support.
For what we can build contains neither concrete or steel,
But cannot be stronger than than these bonds we feel.
The time is now for opportunity can't last,
For the mold is set and the die has been cast.
Now I must ask of you one final endeavor,
To join me in love both now and forever.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
I sat down this morning to do a straight up love poem, something positive. I just sat down today and wrote, nothing in my mind but the fact that I wanted something positive. I don't like to over think these poems, just keep it loose and simple. I feel that brings a better energy out of the words. It feels good to write spontaneously somedays. Just whatever seems to flow. Anyway hope you enjoy and thanks for reading.
One Final Endeavor
There are so many things that I've wanted to say.
So very tired of these little games we play.
Just to be honest and speak to you truth.
Rekinde the magic we lost in our youth.
Tell you these words that find in me joy,
Forget these moments of pretending to be coy.
Open myself and let you see in,
A brand new start all over again.
In the seconds when you aren't here,
Always in my mind's eye do you appear.
Never far from my waking thought,
Even in dreams brings your images caught.
And as you see to depths of my love,
Only you contain the solution thereof.
I pray this leap of faith will nary fall short,
A structural frame from what we share shall support.
For what we can build contains neither concrete or steel,
But cannot be stronger than than these bonds we feel.
The time is now for opportunity can't last,
For the mold is set and the die has been cast.
Now I must ask of you one final endeavor,
To join me in love both now and forever.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
True Story Time!
Hey all!
Time for another patented true story, specifically at the request of my friend Autumn who found it particularly funny. The spell check is still down, but I swear I am working on it!
Several years ago, I worked with a guy from Louisiana named Skipper. That was a nickname he had as his real name was hard to pronounce, I never even heard anyone use that name so we all called him Skip. He had a pretty heavy accent from New Orleans, but most of the time we had no problem comprehending him.
One day my brother and I are heading into work and he gives me the rundown on what was going on for the day. You know, any info that I will need to know for what was going on that day. He looks at me and says,
"Oh and Mama shin is broken."
I look at my rother and we both look at him and say.
"Who' s Mama Shin?"
He says,
"You know, Mama Shin. Mama Shin is broken"
This goes on for like 2 minutes, saying over and over that Mama Shin is broken and not working. Finally I get exasperated and say
"Who the hell is MAMA SHIN!"
He says,
"Mama Shin, the Ice cream Machine is broken!"
That's when it dawned on me that he wasn't saying Mama Shin, but my machine, with his accent I couldn't tell. Even a customer was asking him that a little later when they ordered ice cream and he said Mama Shin broke. The customer was like "Who's Mama Shin?" We were cracking up laughing at the absurdity of it. Why he kept saying that instead of specifying the ice cream machne I never did figure out.
Now I can't help but chuckle when ever the ice cream machine at work is broken, remembering that conversation.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Time for another patented true story, specifically at the request of my friend Autumn who found it particularly funny. The spell check is still down, but I swear I am working on it!
Several years ago, I worked with a guy from Louisiana named Skipper. That was a nickname he had as his real name was hard to pronounce, I never even heard anyone use that name so we all called him Skip. He had a pretty heavy accent from New Orleans, but most of the time we had no problem comprehending him.
One day my brother and I are heading into work and he gives me the rundown on what was going on for the day. You know, any info that I will need to know for what was going on that day. He looks at me and says,
"Oh and Mama shin is broken."
I look at my rother and we both look at him and say.
"Who' s Mama Shin?"
He says,
"You know, Mama Shin. Mama Shin is broken"
This goes on for like 2 minutes, saying over and over that Mama Shin is broken and not working. Finally I get exasperated and say
"Who the hell is MAMA SHIN!"
He says,
"Mama Shin, the Ice cream Machine is broken!"
That's when it dawned on me that he wasn't saying Mama Shin, but my machine, with his accent I couldn't tell. Even a customer was asking him that a little later when they ordered ice cream and he said Mama Shin broke. The customer was like "Who's Mama Shin?" We were cracking up laughing at the absurdity of it. Why he kept saying that instead of specifying the ice cream machne I never did figure out.
Now I can't help but chuckle when ever the ice cream machine at work is broken, remembering that conversation.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Monday, October 08, 2007
Introspection
Hey all!
I sent some time this past weekend in a really eye opening discussion with a friend of mine. We ran into each other at Old Chicago. We are both facing similar choices in our lives looking to make some changes. Talking about work, which we both work at different places, but each facing the same problems and choices. It was kind of a revalation to realize that other people have the same problems as me. I feel compelled to give a job nothing but my best efforts, but at the same time all that has got me the last 10 years is more work. That's not enough anymore. I don't know if what I am doing now is what I want to do with my life, but I keep doing it for a lot of the same reasons my friend does.
I'm good at what I do, it's what I have done for a long time, I am just gonna face the same problems and responsibilities at another job. I don't know that quitting my job is the answer, but I don't know if I have all the questions too. I wonder if my choices would be different if I had someone else to ask them too. Or if its these same questions that preventing that from happening. Do I change now and be in a worse situation, or wait and never make a change at all? Or is the path I am on now the one I am supposed to take?
I spent a long time talking about this on Saturday, which is good for me, for despite the fact that I feel I am pretty emotional in my writing, I am anything but in my daily life. I suppose that eveyone has these same questions and face these same challenges, but this is a new feeling for me. Before when I wanted to quit it was always from a purely physical stand point, and if I wanted to keep pushing myself. Now I am considering other factors for the first time in a long time. It feels like I am so close, but so far away at the same time.
I do know that these past few weekends have really opened my eyes to a possibility I had long since forgotten. Even if nothing comes from it, I know what can be. Here's hoping for the best.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
I sent some time this past weekend in a really eye opening discussion with a friend of mine. We ran into each other at Old Chicago. We are both facing similar choices in our lives looking to make some changes. Talking about work, which we both work at different places, but each facing the same problems and choices. It was kind of a revalation to realize that other people have the same problems as me. I feel compelled to give a job nothing but my best efforts, but at the same time all that has got me the last 10 years is more work. That's not enough anymore. I don't know if what I am doing now is what I want to do with my life, but I keep doing it for a lot of the same reasons my friend does.
I'm good at what I do, it's what I have done for a long time, I am just gonna face the same problems and responsibilities at another job. I don't know that quitting my job is the answer, but I don't know if I have all the questions too. I wonder if my choices would be different if I had someone else to ask them too. Or if its these same questions that preventing that from happening. Do I change now and be in a worse situation, or wait and never make a change at all? Or is the path I am on now the one I am supposed to take?
I spent a long time talking about this on Saturday, which is good for me, for despite the fact that I feel I am pretty emotional in my writing, I am anything but in my daily life. I suppose that eveyone has these same questions and face these same challenges, but this is a new feeling for me. Before when I wanted to quit it was always from a purely physical stand point, and if I wanted to keep pushing myself. Now I am considering other factors for the first time in a long time. It feels like I am so close, but so far away at the same time.
I do know that these past few weekends have really opened my eyes to a possibility I had long since forgotten. Even if nothing comes from it, I know what can be. Here's hoping for the best.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Sunday, October 07, 2007
100
Hey all!
Wow, this marks my 100th post on the site. I knew I was getting close but when I sat down to do the column today, I didn't realize how close I was. I had planned to do a new poem for the 100th post, sort of something celebratory and upbeat to commerate the occasion. The poem I wrote is the COMPLETE opposite of that.
I wanted to do another poem with a recurring measure or word in it, as well as break the cycle of couplet rhyming that my last few poems have had. My intention was to do another in the terza rima style, but I couldn't get that in the way I wanted it and went with this new syle. Three line stanzas with the final line in each rhyming. It was also important to keep the meassage short. I'd be curious to hear what you thought of the change in pace that it brings. If anything, I enjoyed it for that.
100
!00 nights
Without you here,
Don't know how to feel.
100 days
Now pass by,
The hurt to raw to heal.
100 vows
That I've made,
Gone but still so real.
100 tears
I've shed for you,
And now all has lost appeal.
100 words
I'd say to all,
On hands and knees I'd kneel.
100 moments
We once shared.
Now all has fade to past.
100 things
We said and did,
Our time flew by so fast.
100 sounds
Of blackened notes,
Nothing gold can everlast.
100 smiles
Once lit my life.
Now depressions stark contrast.
100 urges
I now surpress,
Our difference just to vast.
100 letters
I've written you,
All have gone unread.
100 times
I feel my heart,
Begin to fill with dread.
100 paths
Down separate trails,
Without a guide have I been lead.
100 ways
To hear that phrase
I'd wished I'd never said.
100 wounds
I've caused you so,
All thats worth now struck dead.
100 crimes
To suffer righteous
Not a moment out of place.
100 scars
To cover pains,
Those memories just can't erase.
100 deaths
I die each day,
From my own disgrace.
100 apologies
Offered once again,
What I lost I can't replace.
100 cuts
To now give in,
To this final dark embrace.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Wow, this marks my 100th post on the site. I knew I was getting close but when I sat down to do the column today, I didn't realize how close I was. I had planned to do a new poem for the 100th post, sort of something celebratory and upbeat to commerate the occasion. The poem I wrote is the COMPLETE opposite of that.
I wanted to do another poem with a recurring measure or word in it, as well as break the cycle of couplet rhyming that my last few poems have had. My intention was to do another in the terza rima style, but I couldn't get that in the way I wanted it and went with this new syle. Three line stanzas with the final line in each rhyming. It was also important to keep the meassage short. I'd be curious to hear what you thought of the change in pace that it brings. If anything, I enjoyed it for that.
100
!00 nights
Without you here,
Don't know how to feel.
100 days
Now pass by,
The hurt to raw to heal.
100 vows
That I've made,
Gone but still so real.
100 tears
I've shed for you,
And now all has lost appeal.
100 words
I'd say to all,
On hands and knees I'd kneel.
100 moments
We once shared.
Now all has fade to past.
100 things
We said and did,
Our time flew by so fast.
100 sounds
Of blackened notes,
Nothing gold can everlast.
100 smiles
Once lit my life.
Now depressions stark contrast.
100 urges
I now surpress,
Our difference just to vast.
100 letters
I've written you,
All have gone unread.
100 times
I feel my heart,
Begin to fill with dread.
100 paths
Down separate trails,
Without a guide have I been lead.
100 ways
To hear that phrase
I'd wished I'd never said.
100 wounds
I've caused you so,
All thats worth now struck dead.
100 crimes
To suffer righteous
Not a moment out of place.
100 scars
To cover pains,
Those memories just can't erase.
100 deaths
I die each day,
From my own disgrace.
100 apologies
Offered once again,
What I lost I can't replace.
100 cuts
To now give in,
To this final dark embrace.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Saturday, October 06, 2007
True Story Time!
Hey all,
Thought I would post another true story time. Jason's spellcheck function is still not working right so hopefully I don't have to many typos.
A couple of years ago I got it in my craw that I needed to hit up the strip club. I never go by myself, usually with other people to have a good time. I think I was feeling lonely and depressed, so I thought that generally speaking naked boobs work wonders. I headed down on a weeknight as I was off from work the next day. I went in, leaving my ATM and credit cards in the car. You know I can't be trusted in that situation. So I sit doen, order a beer and set the HOE-DAR out to work its magic. What I didn't count on was the extra entertainment booked that night.
It turns out that Ron Jeremy was scheduled to perform stand up that night. Now I don't mean perform on another person standing up, but his comedy routine. Now this is the current version of Ron Jeremy, balding and out of shape, coasting on his reputation and fame. He proceeded into what I can easily call the worst 15 minutes of standup I have ever heard, hitting one corny sex joke after another. This was made bareable by the buxon young lady waiting on my lap for "work time" to resume. I don't think I spent more than 45 minutes to an hour in there all told, feeling kind of perverted going by myself. As I was leaving, Ron Jeremy was doing a mit of mix and mingle by the door.
Say what you will about the current state of the guy, it was still kind of cool meeting him. I got to shake his hand and he said hello. My response was,
"I just wanted to thank you for giving guys like me a chance."
I have to say he could take a joke, as he replied, "That's what I am here for."
That was way funnier than any of his stand up.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Thought I would post another true story time. Jason's spellcheck function is still not working right so hopefully I don't have to many typos.
A couple of years ago I got it in my craw that I needed to hit up the strip club. I never go by myself, usually with other people to have a good time. I think I was feeling lonely and depressed, so I thought that generally speaking naked boobs work wonders. I headed down on a weeknight as I was off from work the next day. I went in, leaving my ATM and credit cards in the car. You know I can't be trusted in that situation. So I sit doen, order a beer and set the HOE-DAR out to work its magic. What I didn't count on was the extra entertainment booked that night.
It turns out that Ron Jeremy was scheduled to perform stand up that night. Now I don't mean perform on another person standing up, but his comedy routine. Now this is the current version of Ron Jeremy, balding and out of shape, coasting on his reputation and fame. He proceeded into what I can easily call the worst 15 minutes of standup I have ever heard, hitting one corny sex joke after another. This was made bareable by the buxon young lady waiting on my lap for "work time" to resume. I don't think I spent more than 45 minutes to an hour in there all told, feeling kind of perverted going by myself. As I was leaving, Ron Jeremy was doing a mit of mix and mingle by the door.
Say what you will about the current state of the guy, it was still kind of cool meeting him. I got to shake his hand and he said hello. My response was,
"I just wanted to thank you for giving guys like me a chance."
I have to say he could take a joke, as he replied, "That's what I am here for."
That was way funnier than any of his stand up.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Friday, October 05, 2007
Vertigo
Hey all!
I know my last post was about writing other things on the blog, but I have 2 poems pretty much written so I thought I would upload one. I wrote this piecemeal from work, taking the title from the old Alfred Hitchcock movie Vertigo. I am attempting to write a poem combining some familar themes, being lost in yourself and finding the path out. I don't know how sucessful it came out, I normally take the poems title from the poem itself, this was the first time I had the title beforehand, with the exception of my poem Black, but that was a poem based on a pretty completed structure in advance.
Hope you enjoy.
Vertigo
These whirling spires upon this high,
A dizzying descent from the fly.
It all feels so far out of control,
A tumbling boulder that can't stop it's roll.
This whirling vortex that is my life,
Confusion and complications so abundantly rife.
Again and again I've lost my way,
It's the darkest of nights even in day.
But at the apex of this maddening spin,
I found you there to absol my sin.
In you I hear my purpose and sound,
Even in the roar from crumbling ground.
Without the surest sense of place,
I can find my way home in your beauty and grace.
At the times when I most need a guide,
You're there to hold my hand and walk beside.
In those threatening periods I fail the yield of vertigo,
I can always remember your promise to not let go.
So in those moments where my heart succumb,
You remind me of what I can become.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
I know my last post was about writing other things on the blog, but I have 2 poems pretty much written so I thought I would upload one. I wrote this piecemeal from work, taking the title from the old Alfred Hitchcock movie Vertigo. I am attempting to write a poem combining some familar themes, being lost in yourself and finding the path out. I don't know how sucessful it came out, I normally take the poems title from the poem itself, this was the first time I had the title beforehand, with the exception of my poem Black, but that was a poem based on a pretty completed structure in advance.
Hope you enjoy.
Vertigo
These whirling spires upon this high,
A dizzying descent from the fly.
It all feels so far out of control,
A tumbling boulder that can't stop it's roll.
This whirling vortex that is my life,
Confusion and complications so abundantly rife.
Again and again I've lost my way,
It's the darkest of nights even in day.
But at the apex of this maddening spin,
I found you there to absol my sin.
In you I hear my purpose and sound,
Even in the roar from crumbling ground.
Without the surest sense of place,
I can find my way home in your beauty and grace.
At the times when I most need a guide,
You're there to hold my hand and walk beside.
In those threatening periods I fail the yield of vertigo,
I can always remember your promise to not let go.
So in those moments where my heart succumb,
You remind me of what I can become.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Assorted Nuts
Happy October everybody!
Sorry for the gap in posting, that's probably going to be indicative of this months posts. I'm rounding down the last of my bad scheduling months where I am running short. Things get back to normal at work at the end of the month. I also have to look forward to spending a week or two in the Tucson market to help out this month. So being away from home won't contribute to more posts.
I'll still continue to post poems as I finish them. I have one written, but I slowed down on writing them a little. I felt that last month was really poetry heavy and I don't want to get into a routine of writing poems with to many of the same topics or rhyming phrases. Though don't get me wrong, I'll still keep posting as I write.
October is always a fun month with Halloween fast approaching and the weather starting to turn. I also am trying to find a better balance with my personal life and expanding my own interests. These past few weekends have been a pleasant change from my normal routine, and in finding new grounds in my life.
I will continue to hope for the best in that regard.
I hope to post more True Story Times and poems, as well as my initial thoughts on the fall TV season in coming posts. Also Jason is working on a kick ass banner for the blog so be on the lookout for a fresher look to the site in the coming month. It's looking awesome, I can't wait for it to be done.
As always, thanks for your patience and for reading.
Sorry for the gap in posting, that's probably going to be indicative of this months posts. I'm rounding down the last of my bad scheduling months where I am running short. Things get back to normal at work at the end of the month. I also have to look forward to spending a week or two in the Tucson market to help out this month. So being away from home won't contribute to more posts.
I'll still continue to post poems as I finish them. I have one written, but I slowed down on writing them a little. I felt that last month was really poetry heavy and I don't want to get into a routine of writing poems with to many of the same topics or rhyming phrases. Though don't get me wrong, I'll still keep posting as I write.
October is always a fun month with Halloween fast approaching and the weather starting to turn. I also am trying to find a better balance with my personal life and expanding my own interests. These past few weekends have been a pleasant change from my normal routine, and in finding new grounds in my life.
I will continue to hope for the best in that regard.
I hope to post more True Story Times and poems, as well as my initial thoughts on the fall TV season in coming posts. Also Jason is working on a kick ass banner for the blog so be on the lookout for a fresher look to the site in the coming month. It's looking awesome, I can't wait for it to be done.
As always, thanks for your patience and for reading.
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