A very poetry heavy month so far. As I gear up to work on my next few flash fiction posts over the next couple of days, I thought I would throw this poem up there. I wrote it last night. Its definitely a return to the darker roots of poetry that I sometimes fall back on. I wanted to do something that channeled some of the different emotions that have been running through me this past week.
Between my step mom recovering in the hospital and that lonely Valentines Day, it just seemed a very natural outpouring to throw myself into. Truthfully when I wrote this poem it started as just jotting down a few lines, having taken an unsuccessful attempt at a breakup poem. Suddenly though words began a flow on their own and I went with it.
Emotionally I feel like I have very much been on a roller coaster this month. This month I think always does that to me though. February is a very lonely time for a single guy and sometimes I just don't know what else to do but write. That would explain why I have posted 4 poems in two weeks, almost doubling my monthly poetry output. The bottom line is that really I don't always know how to express myself verbally. I can't articulate the things I should for many different reasons, fear, shame, self esteem. It seems easy to lose myself in words. To take these emotions and channel them out, through fiction or poetry, helps. Even if the message of the poem doesn't apply, it still can resonate with the feeling.
Feel free to leave some feedback if you like it, or even if you don't.
I pray the day to fall behind,
And leave me to my fate.
I'm ready now to meet the end,
To live no more, this dying date.
Good and bad are both in life,
Though there's one I've done more than favor.
Scrubbed and scrubbed but still it clings,
A darkness that my soul does savor.
My reason doesn't really matter,
I'd leave not card or note.
This failing life that I have led,
I'm lost, alone, so cold, remote.
No farewell or mentions spoke,
Of better days I've seen the best.
My future seems to lose its light,
So I lay me down to rest.
One more breath and all is dark,
My life has bled itself free.
Pumping from this darkened vein,
Bleeding out my life's debris.
As I wash into the beyond,
Said goodbye to this mortal coiled.
I wonder if the stain will lift,
Or if my soul remains too soiled.
End of Line.