No your not seeing double. I DID go to another concert, though this time it was a comedy show instead of a musical act. Late last year at a charity dinner I won an auction for two free tickets to the Celebrity Theatre downtown. Any show I wanted over the course of a year. I thought to myself that this was a GREAT prize. There will be plenty of things that I want to see playing there.
That was last November. Last month I actually pulled out the winning forms and realized that while I thought they expired at the end of the year, they actually expired at the end of October. Needless to say I had to pick something quick, or lose the value of the tickets. So I decided to see a comedy act, one Bob Saget. Yeah, that's right, the dad from Full House.
I had heard his stand up act was WAY different from his sitcom and television stuff and suffice it to say, a HUGE understatement. Though truth be told, I am getting a bit ahead of myself in the story. I asked my good friend Stephanie if she wanted to go with me and luckily she was game. We met after I got out of work and headed downtown to grab a bite to eat. My relationship with her is complex, at least for me. She is a fantastic friend and very important to me. I don't have a lot of people that I hang out with, though generally I get along with everyone. I have a hard time really letting my guard down completely around others. With Steph, well, things are both more and less complicated.
Anyway we were downtown near the theatre looking for a place to eat. Very unsuccessfully. You drive through a very urban section of the down town and we couldn't find a place to eat. We passed on a tiny rib place we saw in a strip mall because they were going to close in 10 minutes, and finally ran across what looked to be a promising establishment, a place called the Stock Yards. A historic restaurant that has been in business over 100 years. Also fancy as fucking hell. Neither of us are real fancy people, simple, fun and accessible works for us. This place was elegant dining, and almost romantic. None of this being panned, and already having been seated, we each chose some light fair on the menu, a nice crab cake appetizer, and salads, and skipped the $50 a plate entrees. Now I will point out I more than offered to cover whatever she wanted to eat, but like I said, not her type of environment.
After we had ordered I think our waitress hated me. She was very curt to me and very nice to Steph. I know she was thinking this poor attractive girl is saddled on a date with this over weight schlub who can't even buy her an entree at the restaurant. She marked me as a cheap bastard who didn't deserve to be here. Steph thought it was hilarious. Still I wondered after the fact what kind of opportunity could have presented itself. I'm scared to find out the truth, to ask her what she could possibly think of me. Afraid that I already know the truth, afraid that I will no longer share the same friendship and warmth that I have now.
Back to the matter at hand at any rate. We finished out overpriced meal and made for the theatre. I have to say that Bob Saget did not let me down. A very different kind of comedy act, he doesn't really do bits, he just sort of free forms his act in a series of crazy set ups and lets the tangents fly wild whenever the audience yells something at him. He worked very blue, very offensive. I also liked how he worked the crowd in. Anytime one person laughed at a particularly offensive joke, he would heckled the audience member with jokes pertaining to that which the guy laughed at. For instance he mercilessly teased a guy who admitted to liking colon exams, and went on a good five minute rant about another guy fucking animals. It was fun, wild, and very stream of conscious. I barely avoided the heckling myself during one joke.
The Celebrity Theatre is really a theatre in the round, the performer is in the center of the room on a round stage (that can be spun in a circle if you want) so that it creates a more intimate environment. He had his back to me during the joke in question, but I laughed so loud at one joke, and was clearly one of the few not to shocked by it, to be heard by the entire audience. He whirled around wondering what sick fuck would laugh at that before moving on with his rant. The joke in question, which may be one of the most tasteless ever, really caught me off guard and had me laughing at the sheer wrongness of it all.
"The best thing about snuff films is that you only have to do one take."
Just. So. Wrong.
and perfect for my dark sense of humor.
He even closed the show doing a few parody songs and comedic music bits. His best two, one about a dog licking his balls was very funny, and another, entitled Danny Tanner was not Gay, also got a big pop from the audience, which included Frankie Munoz of Malcolm in the Middle fame. He was genuinely warm and funny, and made me a bit of a fan from just his general appeal and how well he related to both the audience as a whole, and how he interacted with individuals in the crowd. Very funny.
All in all we had a great time at the show, and even a really fun time on teh cruise up Van Buren on the way home. A well known street for working girls in Phoenix, you attempt to spot them as you head for the free way on ramp entrance. We were a little ways down Van Buren so we had several miles to check. I should say that Steph was quite saddened by the fact that she missed one girl arguing physically with another guy, whom I assumed to be her pimp. (Don't worry, the girl was winning.) We also tried to find the sleaziest hourly motel on the road as well, something we had started doing on the drive down (we had taken an alternate route when looking for dining).
I had so much fun. It was really just a great evening. High praise to Saget for his show, and high praise for the evening in general.
Thanks for reading, I'll be back with Flash Fiction tomorrow.
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