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A blog for poetry, prose, and pop culture.

Friday, December 21, 2007

True Story Time!

Hey all,

As most of my good true stories have been told, though I am sure I am probably forgetting some, I did think this quick tale deserved a mention.

This year, as well as last year, I have been asked to play Santa Clause for 6 of our local McDonalds. I've got the nice suit and I am also the only heavy set white dude that can pull it off. I said sure, I have always liked Christmas time and it does make me feel good to see those kids faces light up.

I will say that my Ho Ho Ho sounds suspiciously like the Santa from that great holiday movie, Christmas Story. Very deep and pronounced. So anyway, its been kind of hit and miss at a lot of these stores, either very busy or very dead. Last night I had a lot of kids initially, but after the first half an hour it was slow. These same two Hispanic girls kept coming up to me and talking to me. I did a pretty good job deflecting questions about my reindeer and where Rudolph was, but i hit a bit of a snag when they asked me how I fit down the chimney.

I told them that I had magic dust that allows me to do that. The girl's face goes white as a sheet. She says," Magic! Noooooo you are a demon!" Then goes running towards her Mom. The next kid after that pooped on my leg. Yeah... pooped on my leg. I mean he had pants on and it didn't get on me, but you could feel him pooping. Merry Christmas to me.

End of Line.

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