Introspection

Happy Christmas Everyone!

The holidays I think for so many people are really a time to look upon the blessings of your life, a time for family, friends, and good spirits. This year has been a little different for me. I think this is the first time Christmas has really not felt like a holiday. Maybe it was work, or maybe it was the fact that so much of my family are spread out. I know it was difficult for Dad this year. Being so far away from us, I certainly detected a bit of melancholy in his voice. Especially missing my brothers kids. Not being able to be a part of their every day life is tough on him, and the little moments that people come to look over, become memories he isn't a part of.

I miss Dad a lot myself. When my parents when through their bitter divorce, Dad was really there for my brother and I. His knack for making us laugh and smile, his sense of humor, his dependability, was an important source of strength for us. It's really around the Holidays that I find myself wishing I could just hang out with him again. This year my brother really has his family going, my best friend and his girlfriend have their things, it's really the first time I have felt a little isolated on this day.

Christmas was always my favorite Holiday. The look on peoples face as they opened a present, or the food, or just the simple laughter, while all things I enjoyed pieces of today, it felt more like a sample taste than the full course of Christmas. Going to work didn't really bother me, not much, it was the lonely hours after that, the hours sitting here in front of the screen, that really turned back the clock on my memories. Whether watching A Christmas Story (long a tradition in my family, even before the marathons on cable) with my Dad and brother, or playing games on Christmas morning, its the small moments that you miss come time.

In the end though, I decided to turn to this blog. As a forum for my thoughts and fears, as the ultimate expression of all the things I don't say aloud, I did want to remember the good things about Christmas. Whether poetry, short stories, or popular culture, my blog has always allowed me the freedom of thought and expression to bear truth to the feelings I have. For that alone I wanted to thank everyone who reads this blog, and everyone who has taken the time to follow the poor ramblings of a slip shod writer at best. Thank you all. Merry Christmas my friends, I am a far better person today, for the road I traveled yesterday.

End of Line.
Gerrad!