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A blog for poetry, prose, and pop culture.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

True Story Time

Hey all, sorry for the gap in posting. I went to Flagstaff for a long weekend and couldn't update. I did however come back with another true story. As I have mentioned in the past, I am unlucky in public restrooms. In a previous post I told the tale of being groped in a men's room urinal and since that (among a few others) I only use stalls so I can lock the door.

Anyway, this past Friday was the Guinness World Toast and a friend and myself went to an Irish pub in downtown Flagstaff to do some serious binge drinking. We started off with Bud Light and Guinness, but eventually got into mixing shots and other liquors. Now I was three sheets to the wind, but I can handle my alcohol at a pretty high tolerance. When we first started we were playing pool, and the place was pretty crowed and other people wanted to play on the table as well, so we were taking turns. One guy in particular played several games with us. Through the course of the evening, every time I went to use the stall, this guy was in the bathroom at the same time as me, like we on some kind of cycle.

So on my third trip to the stall, I notice the door handle was very loose on the door. I should point out here that the stall door was a regular wooden door, not the usual half doors they put on stalls. Back to the point, I finish my business and turn to pull the door open and the handle pulls completely off the door. I attempt to pull the door open, but the locking mechanism / crosspiece that goes into the door frame was latched tight still. I couldn't get a good enough grip on the door to open it, so I knocked on the door and said," Um, is anyone out there, the door handle broke and I am locked in here."

Suddenly I see a small finger poke through the hole in the door where the handle was. I said," That better be finger poking through there." The other person laughed and said that the door was stuck and that I should stand back so he could kick it in. SO this guy kicks in the door and here its the guy I was playing pool with earlier. We both laugh about the incident as getting locked in a public restroom is pretty funny. Then the guy asks me if he can buy me a drink. I must have given him a pretty funny look as he quickly said," No man I am not like that!" Then his next response was, " But do you want to dance?" At this point I sad, " Um yeah... thanks for the save there, but I think you may be mistaken..." He quickly said, " No no.. I meant with my girlfriend. She wants to dance and I don't want to."

So I did what any single guy should do, Drank four whisky sours on his tab and danced with his pretty damn fine looking GF.

The rest of the night after that was filled with getting tripped stumbling out of the bar, and watching my friend take a hit of pot (which he NEVER does) and regurgitate it all over the place.

Ah... behold the majesty of alcohol.

End of Line.

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