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A blog for poetry, prose, and pop culture.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

True Story Time

I had a hard time coming up with a topic today but I felt the need to post something. I have a huge workload today and tomorrow, as well as an extensive backlog of quality television on the DVR, new Lost, The Office, My Name is Earl, and a few others. Thought I would leave you with something a bit more on the lighter side.

I use to room with a guy named Jeremy. Probably the most sexually frustrated person I have ever met (even more than me!) as well as the most rigid personality. For a few years while we roomed together he had let down his guard and would join in some of the black humor that my other roommate Jason and myself found so enjoyable. See in my family anything you can do to get a rise out of another person is a sign of friendship and love, the meaner the joke, the more love intended. But Jeremy, he didn't see it quite the same, and he wasn't as good at the game because it takes a hell of a lot more to get me riled. also, fr a guy so proud of his dick, he was sure homophobic.

Anyway, the two of us had decided to go get something to eat, and anytime he wanted to go to eat, he always wanted to eat somewhere nicer, no take out or drive thru, which was fine with me. The two of us went to the Red Lobster, on like a Friday night. I thought it would be funny if i gave the hostess a fake name. So when she asked for our name, I quickly replied, " Homo, party of two."

Now Jeremy lost it, went completely beet red and was pissed as hell, so of course I laughed my ass off. To this day, or at east the last time we hung out, won't let me place a name at a restaurant, he even forbade me from telling that story at his wedding, in fact he made me promise (and I don't break promises) to tell none of my good stories on him for fear his new found bride would think he was a freak. (which he kinda was) So at his wedding as the best man I was expected to give a speech, and the only person I knew at his wedding was him and his parents (I once went to California with them on a vacation-though Jeremy got pissed at me for eyeballing his sister in a bikini...)

So, back to the wedding.. I had promised not to tell any of these good blackmail stories, but I had to show him the kind of friend he was to me, which meant making fun of him. So I did the only left to do, proceeded to give a five minute speech on the look of relief I saw in his friends and family as he got married to a girl, because honestly they had to be wondering why he lived with another guy for 7 years and didn't date anyone the entire time(until his wife came along.) I then went on to my rights as the other half of what some states would call a common law marriage... anyway the speech was funny, everyone laughed, except Jeremy who was mortified that I alluded to him being gay in front of his parents and wife.

So, there you have it.. another true story tale. Thanks for reading. I also wanted to wish my friend Stef a Happy Birthday, though I don't think she even reads this.

End of Line.

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