No post with this one.. pretty self explanatory.
The Last Concession
All my answers have gone so far away,
So many questions, what more can I say?
I don't know what the point is to all this,
Aiming for a target I always seem to miss.
My timing just never works out right.
A mounting struggle with this same old plight.
Praying for a change to my daily grind,
But we never seem to be in a like state of mind.
I'll hold conviction to this frustration,
In my ongoing war of self-deprecation.
Looking deep towards my own reflections.
All to justify just these unanswered questions.
Keep looking for the courage to be a better man,
Try to overcome these fears as best as I can.
First I must make this last concession.
To lay true this deep confession.
Every day the same thoughts run through my head.
Always hoping for those words you've never said.
Maybe one day you'll know just how I feel,
But what I feel for you couldn't be more real.....
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Redemption
Here is something I was dabbling with the last week. Its not really representative of anytime in my life, more or less the power that people can have in each others life. Its sort of an ode to redemption and how one person can change things for the better. Hope you enjoy.
Redemption
A heart grew heavy, hard from stone,
Each new hour more alone.
Left adrift among the sea,
Around the cresting waves of apathy.
Cold water seeped the ragged lung,
As silent songs were soon begun.
Darkest thoughts had turned to danger,
The welcomed arms of a black-robed stranger.
But 'lo upon the horizon behold,
A kiss of wind to chase the cold.
Redemption brought in weather's change,
A newborn chance in life arrange.
Time will turn the shadows to flight,
My day will dawn with your light.
My thanks to whom has stopped my fall,
A life without you is none at all.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Redemption
A heart grew heavy, hard from stone,
Each new hour more alone.
Left adrift among the sea,
Around the cresting waves of apathy.
Cold water seeped the ragged lung,
As silent songs were soon begun.
Darkest thoughts had turned to danger,
The welcomed arms of a black-robed stranger.
But 'lo upon the horizon behold,
A kiss of wind to chase the cold.
Redemption brought in weather's change,
A newborn chance in life arrange.
Time will turn the shadows to flight,
My day will dawn with your light.
My thanks to whom has stopped my fall,
A life without you is none at all.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
True Story Time
Hey all, sorry for the gap in posting. I went to Flagstaff for a long weekend and couldn't update. I did however come back with another true story. As I have mentioned in the past, I am unlucky in public restrooms. In a previous post I told the tale of being groped in a men's room urinal and since that (among a few others) I only use stalls so I can lock the door.
Anyway, this past Friday was the Guinness World Toast and a friend and myself went to an Irish pub in downtown Flagstaff to do some serious binge drinking. We started off with Bud Light and Guinness, but eventually got into mixing shots and other liquors. Now I was three sheets to the wind, but I can handle my alcohol at a pretty high tolerance. When we first started we were playing pool, and the place was pretty crowed and other people wanted to play on the table as well, so we were taking turns. One guy in particular played several games with us. Through the course of the evening, every time I went to use the stall, this guy was in the bathroom at the same time as me, like we on some kind of cycle.
So on my third trip to the stall, I notice the door handle was very loose on the door. I should point out here that the stall door was a regular wooden door, not the usual half doors they put on stalls. Back to the point, I finish my business and turn to pull the door open and the handle pulls completely off the door. I attempt to pull the door open, but the locking mechanism / crosspiece that goes into the door frame was latched tight still. I couldn't get a good enough grip on the door to open it, so I knocked on the door and said," Um, is anyone out there, the door handle broke and I am locked in here."
Suddenly I see a small finger poke through the hole in the door where the handle was. I said," That better be finger poking through there." The other person laughed and said that the door was stuck and that I should stand back so he could kick it in. SO this guy kicks in the door and here its the guy I was playing pool with earlier. We both laugh about the incident as getting locked in a public restroom is pretty funny. Then the guy asks me if he can buy me a drink. I must have given him a pretty funny look as he quickly said," No man I am not like that!" Then his next response was, " But do you want to dance?" At this point I sad, " Um yeah... thanks for the save there, but I think you may be mistaken..." He quickly said, " No no.. I meant with my girlfriend. She wants to dance and I don't want to."
So I did what any single guy should do, Drank four whisky sours on his tab and danced with his pretty damn fine looking GF.
The rest of the night after that was filled with getting tripped stumbling out of the bar, and watching my friend take a hit of pot (which he NEVER does) and regurgitate it all over the place.
Ah... behold the majesty of alcohol.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Anyway, this past Friday was the Guinness World Toast and a friend and myself went to an Irish pub in downtown Flagstaff to do some serious binge drinking. We started off with Bud Light and Guinness, but eventually got into mixing shots and other liquors. Now I was three sheets to the wind, but I can handle my alcohol at a pretty high tolerance. When we first started we were playing pool, and the place was pretty crowed and other people wanted to play on the table as well, so we were taking turns. One guy in particular played several games with us. Through the course of the evening, every time I went to use the stall, this guy was in the bathroom at the same time as me, like we on some kind of cycle.
So on my third trip to the stall, I notice the door handle was very loose on the door. I should point out here that the stall door was a regular wooden door, not the usual half doors they put on stalls. Back to the point, I finish my business and turn to pull the door open and the handle pulls completely off the door. I attempt to pull the door open, but the locking mechanism / crosspiece that goes into the door frame was latched tight still. I couldn't get a good enough grip on the door to open it, so I knocked on the door and said," Um, is anyone out there, the door handle broke and I am locked in here."
Suddenly I see a small finger poke through the hole in the door where the handle was. I said," That better be finger poking through there." The other person laughed and said that the door was stuck and that I should stand back so he could kick it in. SO this guy kicks in the door and here its the guy I was playing pool with earlier. We both laugh about the incident as getting locked in a public restroom is pretty funny. Then the guy asks me if he can buy me a drink. I must have given him a pretty funny look as he quickly said," No man I am not like that!" Then his next response was, " But do you want to dance?" At this point I sad, " Um yeah... thanks for the save there, but I think you may be mistaken..." He quickly said, " No no.. I meant with my girlfriend. She wants to dance and I don't want to."
So I did what any single guy should do, Drank four whisky sours on his tab and danced with his pretty damn fine looking GF.
The rest of the night after that was filled with getting tripped stumbling out of the bar, and watching my friend take a hit of pot (which he NEVER does) and regurgitate it all over the place.
Ah... behold the majesty of alcohol.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
You - A Valentine
I figured with it being Valentine's Day that I would try my hand a a love poem. These are harder for me to write as I don't have the most confidence with women. I simply tried to channel some of what I am feeling now and embellished it for romanticism's sake. Hope you enjoy.
You
You occupy every waking thought.
You are everything I've ever sought.
You complete the colors of the dawn,
You brighten the stars when the sun is gone.
You bless my world with your touch,
You don't know that you mean so much.
You chase my fears so far away,
You give the life to my each day.
You break the clouds to the Heavens above,
You opened my heart to feel your love.
You show me all I can be,
You have made a better man of me.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
You
You occupy every waking thought.
You are everything I've ever sought.
You complete the colors of the dawn,
You brighten the stars when the sun is gone.
You bless my world with your touch,
You don't know that you mean so much.
You chase my fears so far away,
You give the life to my each day.
You break the clouds to the Heavens above,
You opened my heart to feel your love.
You show me all I can be,
You have made a better man of me.
You turn my world to a better place,
You fill my soul's empty space.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
True Story Time
I had a hard time coming up with a topic today but I felt the need to post something. I have a huge workload today and tomorrow, as well as an extensive backlog of quality television on the DVR, new Lost, The Office, My Name is Earl, and a few others. Thought I would leave you with something a bit more on the lighter side.
I use to room with a guy named Jeremy. Probably the most sexually frustrated person I have ever met (even more than me!) as well as the most rigid personality. For a few years while we roomed together he had let down his guard and would join in some of the black humor that my other roommate Jason and myself found so enjoyable. See in my family anything you can do to get a rise out of another person is a sign of friendship and love, the meaner the joke, the more love intended. But Jeremy, he didn't see it quite the same, and he wasn't as good at the game because it takes a hell of a lot more to get me riled. also, fr a guy so proud of his dick, he was sure homophobic.
Anyway, the two of us had decided to go get something to eat, and anytime he wanted to go to eat, he always wanted to eat somewhere nicer, no take out or drive thru, which was fine with me. The two of us went to the Red Lobster, on like a Friday night. I thought it would be funny if i gave the hostess a fake name. So when she asked for our name, I quickly replied, " Homo, party of two."
Now Jeremy lost it, went completely beet red and was pissed as hell, so of course I laughed my ass off. To this day, or at east the last time we hung out, won't let me place a name at a restaurant, he even forbade me from telling that story at his wedding, in fact he made me promise (and I don't break promises) to tell none of my good stories on him for fear his new found bride would think he was a freak. (which he kinda was) So at his wedding as the best man I was expected to give a speech, and the only person I knew at his wedding was him and his parents (I once went to California with them on a vacation-though Jeremy got pissed at me for eyeballing his sister in a bikini...)
So, back to the wedding.. I had promised not to tell any of these good blackmail stories, but I had to show him the kind of friend he was to me, which meant making fun of him. So I did the only left to do, proceeded to give a five minute speech on the look of relief I saw in his friends and family as he got married to a girl, because honestly they had to be wondering why he lived with another guy for 7 years and didn't date anyone the entire time(until his wife came along.) I then went on to my rights as the other half of what some states would call a common law marriage... anyway the speech was funny, everyone laughed, except Jeremy who was mortified that I alluded to him being gay in front of his parents and wife.
So, there you have it.. another true story tale. Thanks for reading. I also wanted to wish my friend Stef a Happy Birthday, though I don't think she even reads this.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
I use to room with a guy named Jeremy. Probably the most sexually frustrated person I have ever met (even more than me!) as well as the most rigid personality. For a few years while we roomed together he had let down his guard and would join in some of the black humor that my other roommate Jason and myself found so enjoyable. See in my family anything you can do to get a rise out of another person is a sign of friendship and love, the meaner the joke, the more love intended. But Jeremy, he didn't see it quite the same, and he wasn't as good at the game because it takes a hell of a lot more to get me riled. also, fr a guy so proud of his dick, he was sure homophobic.
Anyway, the two of us had decided to go get something to eat, and anytime he wanted to go to eat, he always wanted to eat somewhere nicer, no take out or drive thru, which was fine with me. The two of us went to the Red Lobster, on like a Friday night. I thought it would be funny if i gave the hostess a fake name. So when she asked for our name, I quickly replied, " Homo, party of two."
Now Jeremy lost it, went completely beet red and was pissed as hell, so of course I laughed my ass off. To this day, or at east the last time we hung out, won't let me place a name at a restaurant, he even forbade me from telling that story at his wedding, in fact he made me promise (and I don't break promises) to tell none of my good stories on him for fear his new found bride would think he was a freak. (which he kinda was) So at his wedding as the best man I was expected to give a speech, and the only person I knew at his wedding was him and his parents (I once went to California with them on a vacation-though Jeremy got pissed at me for eyeballing his sister in a bikini...)
So, back to the wedding.. I had promised not to tell any of these good blackmail stories, but I had to show him the kind of friend he was to me, which meant making fun of him. So I did the only left to do, proceeded to give a five minute speech on the look of relief I saw in his friends and family as he got married to a girl, because honestly they had to be wondering why he lived with another guy for 7 years and didn't date anyone the entire time(until his wife came along.) I then went on to my rights as the other half of what some states would call a common law marriage... anyway the speech was funny, everyone laughed, except Jeremy who was mortified that I alluded to him being gay in front of his parents and wife.
So, there you have it.. another true story tale. Thanks for reading. I also wanted to wish my friend Stef a Happy Birthday, though I don't think she even reads this.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Self Titled
I'm not really good at happy poetry, nor am i particularly depressed at the time of writing this one.. I just enjoy writing darker works. This poem was inspired by watching part of a televangelist on TV the other day, I am not a great believer in religion, though I find faith an entirely different matter. Faith in whatever you hold dear, family, friends, God or some other Deity I just can't believe that only one religion is the right answer. Sometimes you have to make your own answers. Anyway, hope you enjoy.
Sounds of Light and Fury
Dark days press so close at hand,
A barren waste across the land.
The horsemen rear their fetid head,
Four men ride among the dead.
Eternal questions, no more fought.
The sins of Man have now been wrought.
No repentance found at hand,
The hourglass contains no more sand.
Silent echos, those chimes of fear
Red river springs from their tear.
No more prayers, no more offers,
Empty coin has filled the coffers.
Torn from heart and mind is soul,
Empty are the parts of the Hole.
For no more felt are the fires of Heaven,
As Hell's chill breeze has rose to leaven.
Sounds of Light and Fury
Dark days press so close at hand,
A barren waste across the land.
The horsemen rear their fetid head,
Four men ride among the dead.
Eternal questions, no more fought.
The sins of Man have now been wrought.
No repentance found at hand,
The hourglass contains no more sand.
Silent echos, those chimes of fear
Red river springs from their tear.
No more prayers, no more offers,
Empty coin has filled the coffers.
Torn from heart and mind is soul,
Empty are the parts of the Hole.
For no more felt are the fires of Heaven,
As Hell's chill breeze has rose to leaven.
Now Time is done, no Savior seen.
'Tis the End of Days, no soul unclean.
Goodbye to cares, as well as worry,
Hearken soon the Sounds of Light and Fury.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Monday, February 05, 2007
Super (Dissapointing) Bowl
Most people probably caught the Super Bowl last night. What a turd. Don't get me wrong, I guess I was rooting for Indy, if for only to have to no longer hear about how Payton Manning can't win the big one. It just seemed to me that it was some of the worst football I have seen played, especially in lieu of it being the greatest game of the year.
It started off good with the Devon Harris run back, but from their it was full of missed opportunities and turnovers. Grossman played terribly, he is not the future of that franchise, and even Manning wasn't super. I was really just bored with the whole affair by the third quarter.
The commercials were pretty sad too. The commercial event of the year and they played commercials that I have already seen. That's just lazy! Budweiser had two pretty good ones with the face slapping over fist bumping and the auction caller wedding. Hell, I even liked the K-Fed mutual fund commercial, that was pretty funny. Let's hop next year is a tad more dramatic.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
It started off good with the Devon Harris run back, but from their it was full of missed opportunities and turnovers. Grossman played terribly, he is not the future of that franchise, and even Manning wasn't super. I was really just bored with the whole affair by the third quarter.
The commercials were pretty sad too. The commercial event of the year and they played commercials that I have already seen. That's just lazy! Budweiser had two pretty good ones with the face slapping over fist bumping and the auction caller wedding. Hell, I even liked the K-Fed mutual fund commercial, that was pretty funny. Let's hop next year is a tad more dramatic.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Sunday, February 04, 2007
True Story Time
Hey All.
Figured its about time for a topic of much lighter conservations. In the past I have posted some of my work stories, so I figure I should share one that happened to me this week. See I am a manager of a McDonalds, not the greatest height of accomplishment but I think I am doing pretty well.
Anyway two teenagers came through the drive thru and placed a rather large order, so I asked them to pull forward and park and that we would bring their order out as soon as it was done. After a few minutes, I bag up the order and carry It out to the car. As I approach the driver side window, I turn to my side to tell them that I had all of their order. Now before I can even get a word out, the driver whips out a magazine centerfold of some totally naked guy and asks me, " Hey doesn't this guy have the hottest balls?"
Now the way I see this there is only two responses, get flustered or angry, or bust this guy down. I, of course, went with the latter. I immediately responded," Not as hot as yours are I'm sure honey. Here's your order. " This pretty much creeped out the driver, though the passenger seemed to think it was funny and laughed yelling out, ' Damn man!" At this point the driver rolled up his window an pulled away and I went back to work. All I know is that there is no way some smart ass punk teenager is going to get the best of me.
I thought it was funny.
Current recommendation- If you are not watching Heroes, get on the bandwagon. It's a great show!
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Figured its about time for a topic of much lighter conservations. In the past I have posted some of my work stories, so I figure I should share one that happened to me this week. See I am a manager of a McDonalds, not the greatest height of accomplishment but I think I am doing pretty well.
Anyway two teenagers came through the drive thru and placed a rather large order, so I asked them to pull forward and park and that we would bring their order out as soon as it was done. After a few minutes, I bag up the order and carry It out to the car. As I approach the driver side window, I turn to my side to tell them that I had all of their order. Now before I can even get a word out, the driver whips out a magazine centerfold of some totally naked guy and asks me, " Hey doesn't this guy have the hottest balls?"
Now the way I see this there is only two responses, get flustered or angry, or bust this guy down. I, of course, went with the latter. I immediately responded," Not as hot as yours are I'm sure honey. Here's your order. " This pretty much creeped out the driver, though the passenger seemed to think it was funny and laughed yelling out, ' Damn man!" At this point the driver rolled up his window an pulled away and I went back to work. All I know is that there is no way some smart ass punk teenager is going to get the best of me.
I thought it was funny.
Current recommendation- If you are not watching Heroes, get on the bandwagon. It's a great show!
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Friday, February 02, 2007
Autumn Falls
I don't know if anyone even reads or writes poetry anymore, but here is something I did during work. I don't know if its any good or not... I tend to fall to the latter of the inclinations, but I take a positive out of this as it felt nice to at least stir the creative juices of the tired mire of my feeble acumen. Enjoy.
Autumn falls against the winter's might.
Another day ends, loses its fight.
Dusk gives birth to new twilight.
Moon's glow in the fade of night.
Cold air's breeze a frigid bite,
No more seen the warmth of light.
For winter's grip has seized tight.
'Tis the way of Seasons, neither wrong nor right.
So fear not the answer to this plight
The next will dawn, soon in sight.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
Autumn falls against the winter's might.
Another day ends, loses its fight.
Dusk gives birth to new twilight.
Moon's glow in the fade of night.
Cold air's breeze a frigid bite,
No more seen the warmth of light.
For winter's grip has seized tight.
'Tis the way of Seasons, neither wrong nor right.
So fear not the answer to this plight
The next will dawn, soon in sight.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
....On My Sleeve.
I have come to relize truth and honesty are really different things...Honesty is a very valuable trait that I admire in poeple, myself included. Truth is often seen in the eye of the beholder. The truth is really what you make it out to be. Something can be true, an emotion, thought or action by force of will. You can shape the truth into what you need. If you tell a lie long enouh, it becomes the truth.
What you can't make up is honesty. Honesty to yourself and those around you means dealing with things, even the truth, when they don't necessarily reflect things that you want them to. Finding honesty in action is something I am trying really hard to do now. I am trying to be honest with someone I know and I am having trouble finding the courage to own up to what I am feeling. I have never been very confident in myself, its easier to pick at a flaw than illuminate a strenght. Well at least for me. Maybe writing this will help, I dont know. What I do know is that I can't change the truth of the matter, I can only accept it. That's being honest with myself, and with the people around me.
Honesty is the best policy, they just don't say that it's the easiet.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
What you can't make up is honesty. Honesty to yourself and those around you means dealing with things, even the truth, when they don't necessarily reflect things that you want them to. Finding honesty in action is something I am trying really hard to do now. I am trying to be honest with someone I know and I am having trouble finding the courage to own up to what I am feeling. I have never been very confident in myself, its easier to pick at a flaw than illuminate a strenght. Well at least for me. Maybe writing this will help, I dont know. What I do know is that I can't change the truth of the matter, I can only accept it. That's being honest with myself, and with the people around me.
Honesty is the best policy, they just don't say that it's the easiet.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
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