Hey all,
One more post before the end of the month, and I wrote a poem. I had to go into work last night and nothing is more dis-spiriting than really looking forward to having a day off and then having to go into cover for someone. Anyway I showed up to work and pretty much knocked out my night, and found myself with about 45 minutes of free time between orders. I wrote this poem there and I think you can probably see the inspiration for the poem. It's not the first time I wrote a poem on this subject matter and I remember really liking it last night. I am not so sure I feel the same way about it today but I am going to post anyway. I'd love to hear any feedback, good or bad on the poem.
As always thanks for taking the time to read me.
What Lies Ahead
Try so hard to make it all right,
Give so much every day and night.
Why do I push to the point of break,
How can I give more when I need to take?
Every day is such a fight.
Only see the darkness in the light.
Smiles through the hurt seem so fake,
Everything inside died from heart's forsake.
Weakness betrays my will to give in,
Apathy's victory still convents in sin.
Can't seem to find what lies ahead,
When I can't tell what's still alive or dead.
Hot to the touch, yet grown cold within,
Where life seems lush, an empty chagrin.
Lost and alone, unknowingly led,
Question's to ask now gone unsaid.
Anger and passion cede and I no longer cared,
When once hot emotion's rule was never dared.
Long ago did blood burst within my vein,
'Till oppression's fist overwhelmed it's reign.
Now I dread day's start; alarmed, bewared.
As life and love come no longer paired.
Broken struggles carry on in vain,
And all that's left is regret and pain.
End of Line.
Gerrad!
3 comments:
Attention!
I think there are a few spots were the words could be tweeked to make it roll of the tongue a little better. And there are is a scent of fustration that comes through that I think I feel what your saying. But having known you forever, I know how your words carve a picture. Purhaps someone else might be able to help you sculpt the verse.
Yeah your probably right, I think I tried to force the ryhming pattern in a few places. Thanks for the input.
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