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A blog for poetry, prose, and pop culture.

Friday, March 13, 2009


Hey all,

So it seems my sister in law, with the best of intentions, tried to hook me up with a girl from her office. We had a series of enjoyable, informative, even provocative text messages that I quite enjoyed. I don't really have a full field of confidence with women and having this opportunity was really awesome. I thought we had some decent conversations on my end, though to be honest I never got a good idea of what she thought from me. I tried to be as funny and as charming as I could, asking questions to learn as much about her as I could.

After talking for the first time I wanted to exchange digital information. Pictures, blog, whatever, just a simple exchange of MySpace information. Really I had two reasons behind this. One was the simple fact that I wanted a face to put the words to. I wanted to see what she looked like. I am not the kind of guy who gets caught up in looks, I just wanted to get to know her better. The other reason, the real reason, is that I wanted the same for her. I wanted her to put my face with myself. I know who I am and what I look like, I know that I an overweight. I didn't want that to be a disappointment. I didn't want to let her down. So I sent my info along in one of my emails.

We talked briefly the day after that. Again I sent another email, just low key and not insistent, just saying how much I liked talking to her and getting to know her better. I asked if she had checked me out yet. Then that was pretty much the last I heard from her. I suppose it might have been to much to ask on my part, she was younger than me, just 23. Raising a child on her own. I just find myself wondering if she did check me out and that's why she lost interest. Maybe I lost it before then, maybe I didn't. I don't think I did.

I wondered if I was prepared for dating. Even taking it slowly, there was a child involved. Long ago I gave up on those thoughts, I would have been just happy with a date you know. I'm trying to chalk it up to being just an experience, but I still think that some days I am better off not trying. I just wish I knew where I stand sometimes. If that was the reason, if how I looked turned her off, I'd have rather heard the truth, painful or not. It's the not knowing that really hurts.

End of Line.

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