Yeah I hear you, another relapse. Work, work, work, it's has just drained away whatever creative juices I had this week. Work has just been agonizingly depressing this week. Long days, little reward, and what's worse my boss basically thinks I am doing a terrible job. It's so frustrating. He is one of those guys who motivates through fear and intimidation, but accuses everyone else of not being supportive. He just yells and pounds and pounds on you until he breaks you, then he realizes he has gone to far, tries to be supportive, just to pound you down some more. I don't want to say that its completely defeating, its just gotten old and tiring.
Its frustrating that when things go well, he still points out all of the things you are doing wrong, when things go bad he just does the same things. There is no reward, or hell at least some relief, when you are on top of it all. It almost makes me not want to care anymore. Ask anyone, I give a huge portion of my life to my job, I have sacrificed personal time and relationships to do what I felt was the right thing. If my reward is just to be treated poorly, why would someone keep doing that. I am not the kind of guy who quits things. I am a finisher. I like my job and what I do. I really do. Sometimes its hard to see the forest from the trees though. On weeks like this, when nothing seemingly goes right and everything is against you, its hard to be positive about what you do.
I think in the end that its good to just vent sometimes. You know, to get the feelings and emotions off of your chest and to try to keep it positive. I have just felt really burnt out and tired, really really exhausted. I have tomorrow off and I am going to try to rest ans recharge a bit to get ready for another week, hopefully a better week than the one I had this go around. Lie isn't always the easiest road to walk, and the pathway to happiness is often lined with many potholes. To tell you the truth though, I could use a clear stretch of highway right now.
End of Line.